micro managing control freak or is it just me?
 

The spousal unit was gone for the day and left the following note. For those of you readers who are just joining the show, I will say that I have been actively parenting my son since he was born and he and I have been spending weekends flying solo, during the school year when my wife is teaching.

Read on and tell me what you think:

"if poop occurs" ha ha ha

Me: "You mean he poops?"

The little boxes are highly offensive to me. I suggest constucting a similar list with boxes, and items like "fondle balls" and "lick from base to tip".

Or use the list to wipe your ass and then say it was Molly.

Because I'm rude like that. Actually I'm passive-aggressive and would respond to the list by doing none of it.

Hey, you can get a t-shirt that says essentially that.

"Poop Ocurrs"

LOL...I have a bib for my baby that says, Spit happens.

Back to the topic, do you normally forget to do everything except turn on the TV? If so, maybe she's justified. If not...I'd say 'control freak'.

My partner is oblivious, loving...but oblivious. He simply doesn't notice that the baby's diaper is stinky or overflowing. He doesn't much care that she is still in her PJ's in the middle of the afternoon and he totally loses track of what time it is (and that it has been 6 hours since the baby had anything to eat except a bottle). He hugs and cuddles and plays, but the technical details? Hmph.

Well, you did get the little heart at the end. And I suspect that the checkboxes are just bullets of another sort. Does she make lists like this for herself? I suspect she's just trying to be helpful.

I don't like the check boxes either. Waay too much time/effort went into making them. I like UT's idea.

Stormie,
I'm quite detail oriented, miles beyond her. inch and I don't usually veg out.

I think this is typical for her as the semester approaches; her anxiety starts crowding her and needs to affix itself to innocent bystanders.

I'm not sure what the check boxes are about either.

Also I think the 15 y.o. neighbor who occasionally looks after inch may need a checklist of this sort.

I think it might be a good idea to put down on your calendar for Aug. 1st, 2007 that you should sit down with her and have a talk to map out how to deal with this crap next year, before she's stressed out. Sounds like it's putting a lot of uneeded strain on your relationship. If it's annual and predictable, maybe a solution can be found.

Does she lighten up a little once the semester actually begins, and she's in it full swing?

The last line makes it all better. This is probably exactly the way she would make the list if she were making one for herself. I think you are reading too much into it but you know her better than me.

Not to make too much of it but taking a picture of if and running it up the Cellar flagpole is kind of interesting.

If you really wanted to make a statement about it, fill it out, get it notarized and FedEx it to her with signature required.

foot^3,

What matters is how you feel about it. If it bothers you, talk to her tonight. If you guys argue in a healthy way, you can say, "Honey, I felt very micromanaged by that list you left this morning. Do you really think I need reminding to take the stroller with me?"

Whereupon she can say, "I never intended for you to feel that way, I was just trying to help out." or she can say, "Well I do think you would forget your head if it wasn't screwed on tight. Do you think I overdid it?"

Is it a joke?
Find that out first...
Are you this forgetful... answer truthfully?
If it is no, then I would be pissed, but not enough to start a fight over the first offense, but I would be VERY CLEAR that this was not to happen again.

No offense to your wife, but this is very teacher-ly. I have a lot of teachers in my family and they will quickly devolve into treating everyone like gradeschoolers if they're not careful. It's always especially bad right at the beginning of the schoolyear. I think the instructive nature of the note is unintentional, and is only a result of the stress she's under this month. I would definitely mention how it made you feel, but be prepared to cut her some slack for it too.

Handwriting needs improvement.
;)

Keep in mind that I'm a jerk, I would tape a note to it...
"Do you want me to behave as though I was this stupid (box) yes, (box) no?"

SCF.

May I be excused to the bathroom to clean up this mess, please Teacher?

You're missing only the red pencil (font color)!

There's always overdramatic ironic/sarcastic hysteria, which works better than the direct approach.

Ms. Footer: Hi honey I'm back! Where's our little lad?
Mr. Footer: Hon, (tearfully) he's gone! I -- I forgot the water on your list, and he got dehydrated in this heat. They couldn't bring him back! I tried to reach you on the cell, but I lost the paper that had your number on it! (pounds fist angrily) Why WOULD you leave him with me? You know I can't handle the most basic parenting task! You must be a terrible mother!
Ms. Footer: What a fucking loser. I want a divorce.
Mr. Footer: Of course! Because I'm such an idiot! Better give me a piece of paper with checkboxes on it for how to do the divorce paperwork!

OK, that didn't exactly go like I thought it would.

Not so bad. It's not like she told when to eat or shit. And if you're getting alot of sex, don't complain.

(Box) get jar of honey
(Box) get tarp
(Box) give Jr. some Benadryl
(Box) get bondage equipment
(Box) get thee to the bedroom
(Box) take off your clothes
continue with boxes and fun...

That's what I was thinking. Maybe she's just trying to be funny.

Yah, a bigger crayon may help until she develops fine motor skills.

It's stress. I told you you should have finished her lesson plans in June. :p

I'm a note writer.

I work with idiots and I let that spill over into my personal life.

I write REALLY descriptive notes...but I AM a control freak.

I use * though, not check boxes and my writing is waaaay neater :p

I liked the last line. The rest can be forgotten I reckon. (unless you forgot to do something lol)

If I had small children, I'd probably leave notes for my Mr.

Oh Foot , just leave a check list like rkzenrage said , or worse , small foot can't read yet can he ??

My wife leaves me Honey do lists as well , but no check boxes , I check it up to stress

Thanks to everyone for their input. I wish I had the time to reply to each of your replies, but replies tend to replicate...

I think it is stress and I am working on lesson plans for the fall of 07. Not too far from the truth, since I often come up with refinements to her plans while en route to class. (back when the inch was only a millimeter)

Anyway, we are now undergoing the talking cure. We'll see how it goes, already the air is clearer, but marriage is work rather than "all beer and skittles" as I was led to believe.

(I hope UT and Jaquelita aren't reading this...)

I think the check boxes were an attempt at graphic design.

By the way, I wish i had made the poll results visible so I could find out which one of you traitors thought she had reasons to suspect me. :p

In the good old days such worrying about trivial things was carefully managed with valium. Mmmm.... valium.

Did you talk to her about it yet? I am curious as to her excuse/reason for it.

If he is a smart man, and clearly he is, the question will never be asked.

Some things are meant to remain mysteries.

I'm glad our relationship does not work that way.

Would she make a list for me? I'm going camping and want to make sure I don't forget anything. - Seriously, I think she may just be a very thorough person who is making sure that you don't miss anything. I wouldn't take it to heart.

This probably just falls under "It seemed like a good idea at the time".

Sometimes things are better just ignored. It may have raised your hackles, but if you turn it into an "issue", or - whatever Gods forbid - she gets ahold of what was written in this thread, she will have to get defensive about it. Or is it too late already? :worried:

She barely can get her own email and still doesn't fully understand that this isn't a "chat room", so I'm not too worried.

I just let the whole thing drop. Compared to the notes she leaves for the sitter, I was given pretty free rein or reign?

Is it like ruling reign or like steering the horses rein?

Steering horses rein.