Favorite movie lines and gratuitous insults
 

I've spent too long trading movie lines and funny insults with my teens this afternoon ...I'm all out of one-liners! I need some fresh material!

Here's one of my favorites:

"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you! ... I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" - from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

How about it? Who has some favorites to share?

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

name that movie......

Once again, "No dear Agnes, No. When the gourmet mood is on me I needs must dine alone."
This time on youtube!!! (fucking ROCK!)

"See ya later, Dickhead!" - grumpier old men

i shout this to whatever salesmanager is locking up, everynight as i leave work.

"This man wishes to be accorded the same rights as a sponge! He wishes to *think*!" - Spencer Tracy to the Jury in Inherit the Wind

"I would [despise you] if I gave you any thought." -- Casablanca

And Hong Kong movie translations are often fruitful this way, though the most hilarious ones aren't necessarily insulting, viz., "Beat him out of recognizable shape!" or "You always choose violence. I shoud've had glutinous rice."

"If God didn't want them sheared, He would not have made them sheep."

The Magnificent Seven

"You clinking, clanking, clattering, collection of coliginious junk!"
The Wizard Of Oz

"If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down."
Sam, Garden State

"If there's a mental health organization that raises money for people like you, be sure to let me know."
Frank Sachs, As Good As It Gets

"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?" (Obviously, an '80s precursor to: Barry Manilow called, he wants his wardrobe back.) :) John Bender, The Breakfast Club

"To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?"
Wanda, A Fish Called Wanda


Can't take credit for remembering all these. Got them from a randome movie insult generator at virgin.net

Kitty: I was reading a book the other day.
Carlotta: Reading a book?
Kitty: Yes. It's all about civilization or something. A nutty kind of a book. Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?
Carlotta: Oh, my dear, that's something you need never worry about.
"Dinner At Eight"

Tira: What do you do for a living?
Ernest Brown: Oh, uh, sort of a politician.
Tira: I don't like work either.
"I'm No Angel"

Prince John: Poor John. Who says poor John? Don't everybody sob at once! My God, if I went up in flames there's not a living soul who'd pee on me to put the fire out!
Prince Richard: Let's strike a flint and see.

Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.
Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

Eleanor: What would you have me do? Give out? Give up? Give in?
Henry II: Give me a little peace.
Eleanor: A little? Why so modest? How about eternal peace? Now there's a thought.
"The Lion In Winter"

The Lion in Winter! God I love that film!

Aliens?

From Withnail and I:

" I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering and I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you"

"I been watchin you, especially you, prancin like a tit....you want working on boy."

It's my all-time favorite film. :-)

Doctor Noah Praetorius: Professor Elwell, you are the only man I know who can say 'malignant' the way other people say 'Bingo!'.

Professor Barker: Elwell, you can use more words more unpleasantly than any irritating little pipsqueak I've ever known!

Shunderson: Professor Elwell, you're a little man. It's not that you're short. You're...little, in the mind and in the heart. Tonight, you tried to make a man little whose boots you couldn't touch if you stood on tiptoe on top of the highest mountain in the world. And as it turned out...you're even littler than you were before.
"People Will Talk"

wiggle your ears, my thighs itch.

"You can wish in one hand and KRAP in the other and see which one fills up first." - Grumpy Old Men

Essentially the same line also shows up in Bad Santa.

A couple of seventeenth-century English courtiers were going at each other until one of them, famously corruptible and womanizing, shouted at the second:

"You, sir, will end up either on the gallows or with the pox!"

"That will depend, sir, on whether I embrace your morals, or your mistress."

Ba dum bump.

Demented and sad, but social. -- The Breakfast Club

My boss and I sometimes randomly come out with little bits and pieces from The Fifth Element, usually prompted by admitted a patient named "Cor-neel-e-oos."

Holy Grail quotes are not unusual.

Also, a Spockian, "Logic is a little bird, tweeting in a meadow," in response to some serious inanity really speaks volumes to those in the know.

The "SonOfABitch!" from Creator also gets some mileage.

Huh? :3_eyes:

Haven't you seen Withnail and I?

It's very funny.

Selene and I sometimes look at each other and say "Multipass" or "Autowash".

Nope, I want to.
Also, I don't speak "Englisheese" any more than they would speak Country.

I just really like this sentence today. thanks!

Also, there is a one word line in Ed Wood, delivered by Bill Murray...While getting baptized so that Ed can secure funding for his latest movie...when asked if he takes Jesus as his personal savior, Murray compliantly shrugs, "sure." (dunk). Perfect.

Sorry, didn't realise that quote was hard for a non Brit to follow:P

Leia: You came in that? You're braver than I thought!

I've seen things you wouldn't believe.

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

Shall we play a game?

Wait, do these lines have to be gratuitous insults or is just a favorite movie line OK?

Based on the phrasing in the thread title, I would think that it is totally obvious to all but the basest moron that the gratuitous insults are separate from the movie quotes.

;)

Gratuitous insults are fun, but favorite lines are good, too. My teens seem to have entire scenes memorized - they can beat me hands down when it comes to trotting out great or funny (or both) dialogue.

UT, that quote you qouted (attack ships & c-beams) ..... what the hell book/film was it from? I know it, just can't place it and it's now really irritating me...

ah, the minute I hit post..... Battle Beyond the Stars?

Android Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer) finally confronts his own mortality in... Blade Runner

of course! From 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep'.

One of my favourite quotes has always been 'oh, no, not again.....'

The bowl of petunias?

what else.....

as for gratuitous insults, the fave at my school ( many years back) was 'you're the bastard son of a black-enamelled camel'

Tommy: Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. . . .

Lt. Hookstratten: May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.
-This Is Spinal Tap

"It's good to be the king"

"Mulllll-tee-passs"

"Green?"

"Aknot? Is that you?..What an ugly face! Doesn't suit you at all! Take it off... That's better! Never be ashamed of who you are... You're warriors... be proud..."

"CORNELIUS
You are a monster, Zorg!
ZORG
I know..."

"Gentlemen, it's been a priviledge flying with you."
Jim Lovell, Apollo 13.

My favorite movie of all time.

Night Shift

"this is Chuck: call Starkist"