What rhymes with "Abortion"?
 

You can now send an e-card to a freind or loved one after they have had an abortion.


http://www.4exhale.org/support/cards/index.php


"Violets are blue. Roses are red.
You didn't use a condom so next time
give him head."

And it's Steak and a BJ day!

If it makes you feel better, we can use A-1 for lube.

You like sex in odd positions, maybe
To fuck you I must contort
Your womb is full of baby
I hope you will abort

:rotflol:
I've heard some pretty funny abortion jokes (but i don't think I'll discuss them) but this poem was reallllll funny to me.

"He said he would love me forever.
He said it was love at first sight.
But then when I told him "I'm pregnant"
it was so long, exit, stage right"

So, anyone heard from Mircea.Gabriel recently?

Oh my god, those things are GHASTLY. Just imagine if you sent the wrong one!! Chocolate would be better. Bourbon would be better!

The nut is still around.

I know, I was just expecting it to show up in this thread at some point. :)

Mircea.Gabriel? Wha'd I miss? Weirdness?

I don't get it.

You're now knocked up
But don't dismay
Coathangers are so passe'
Your kitchen scoops
To measure portions
Are really useful
For quick abortions

Best wishes from all of us at the office!

Ah. Yet another sign of the impending apocalypse.

i love you so much
each and every single day
i long for your touch
but theres something i need to say
for the love of crimany
dont make this a fight
but you know threes company
so abort that parasite!

Mine had something that rhymed with abortion. :p Here's another example:


You gave me some
We both had fun
And now, what's this? Extortion?

You've slapped me hard
With child support
You should've had the abortion.

Any Hallmark scouts here?

"Never should have said yes to Cletus.
Now I have to abort this fetus."

On our wedding day
You gave me a ring
Gave me herpes and AIDs
I said not a thing
In spite of that we did
Have lots of fun
I don’t want a kid
Get an abortion

Lovingly,

If you want me you will
take the morning after pill

"No way am I keeping your little runt!
I'll have it scraped from out my... damn! Writers block!!!

Freakin' hilarious!! Straight and to the point.
Reminds me of something my buddy said to me, he was like "if she's gonna be like 'Tony, I think I'm...' then I'll just punch her in the stomach no questions asked." Except what he said was way worse... but still funny in my opinion.

I said i'd love you forever
If you would just let me inside
I didn't think, no, nuh uh, never
There'd be talk of you being my bride

You say my child grows in your tummy
And that it's the right thing to do
You must think I'm some kind of dummy
If you think I'm marrying you

I do have some advice for you to heed
And especially one certain portion
Get your ass down to the clinic, indeed
And make with the fucking abortion.

Our rough sex had you
bent over knees
your pregnant?
*left jab* to the ovaries.

Looking at it from the woman's viewpoint...:

So contrary my lover
When putting it about
He did insist
Even when pissed
‘Twas better in than out.

So I obliged my lover
Practised a cardinal sin
My tummy’s swelling
He’s now yelling
It’s better out than in!

He didn’t mean by childbirth, no
That isn’t how his thought shone
Instead ‘twas cruel
I feel a fool
By out he meant abortion

you need a sign that reads "proceed with caution"
cause i'll kill you both if you don't get the abortion.
you heard me right, im that fucking crazy
not wearing a condom, that just makes me lazy.
what does it make you, if you decide to keep the kid
it makes you a whore, with proof of what you did
you're not even married, your god will disown you
it wont be worth it, believe me, when im through
i'll rip your minge open and put it back in.
at this point you'd be thinking, "abortion aint a sin"
you'll scream for mercy, you'll scream in pain
with fruitless effort, it will all be in vain
look on the bright side, you'll be together in a tomb
or a more painless option, would just be the vacuum
sorry i forgot to ask, how was your day?
i got a new secretary, and i must say,
shes got fantasic legs, id love to pin her
anyway i'll see you at home, oh and whats for dinner?
chicken again? we had that last night!
why cant we have steak, moneys not that tight
fine i'll pick up a roast, do we need milk?
no milk too? what do you do all day?
besides get knocked up, and expect me to pay.
i'm done with this shit, this poems getting old
just scramble its brains, my secretary's getting cold.

sorry i got carried away

Yeah, you sure did. :worried: ;)

dude how do u write this stuff its ridiculously funny to me :lol:

You will be if you try laying that rap on somebody's daughter or sister.:worried:

I'm just naturally ridiculous?

I wanted to write a damn card
but ain't Busta Rhymes so phuckit
only place I want to see yo kid
is in yo doctor's waste bucket
yo

Congratulations, you made the right choice
You heard and heeded the sensible voice
With genes like you have -that cerebral contortion
Society thanks you for choosing abortion

I remember yesterday
we frolicked in the hay

but changing tomorrow
will bring us great sorrow

so let's travel in time
to when one was your hymen

we can avoid an abortion
through a time-space distortion

Hey girl wussup,
we had some fun
Pleasurable feelings
When the day was done

But now you talkin' like
You havin' this baby
So I gotta roll out
Fuck that shit you crazy

theres something on my mind
on my emotions it does grind
theres something i need to ask
i should get down on one knee for this task
we've been together for nearly 2 years
we know each others dreams and fears
there is no one i'd rather be with
in happiness ever after we both shall live
theres just one thing that will bring this all down
its that thing in you whos head will one day crown
unless of course you take the right action
and ask for your doctor to turn on the suction

I ain't gots to pays you no dough
you my favrit concubine
now you pregnant, you ho
sure as shit, dat baby ain't mine!