Bruises
 

SG said her family like good bruise pictures, so post yours.

here's mine:

Bruises
 

It was suggested that we should have a thread for awesome bruise pictures, so I'm taking initiative.

This was already posted elsewhere on the cellar, copied again here to get the ball rolling. This was my pinky toe back in April of this year. Never did take it to a doctor...

Bri, get a picture of that neck of yours before it heals and get it up here for us to ogle!

Crap! Can someone merge the bruise threads, pretty please?

haha -you beat me! :p

I'll Add my pic to yours and we'll ignore this thread :)

oh no, I lied -I posted first! We can still ignore this one, though.....

Ah bollocks, it wouldn't let me upload, even though it was a different thread. So I took the liberty of transfering yours.....

(I did resist the urge to make it a LOLfoot.....)

Clod's poor foot:

heehee and now we is merged!

Now why would you do a silly thing like that? By all means, this can and should be an LOLBruises thread. Like so:

You need to be in the chat room
seel the loldwellars thread in just two secs.....

Ooh, nasty, ducks

What did you do to yours Mon?

Mine was a rampant air hose.

I have to find the ones of my belly after the last car accident I was in.

I'm a bruise pic fan too.

That's a stunningly pretty photo of you, bruise or non. :)

I told Mum about this thread and she was delighted. She insisted Dad took a picture of my foot "so as not to let the side down"

Glad to hear yours was an inanimate object Ducks, I was almost too scared to ask.

Mine is current - came from standing on the patio table to get Diz off the roof. I'd already tried the chair and couldn't reach him. This made him cry even more and scrambled my brain a little. After all he was in no danger where he was and I could have gone to get the stepladder. Nope, decided to trust my weight to a rickety old table. CRASH! Table collapses and I have to reassure the neighbours that I am just shaken, whilst womanfully blinking back tears.

Got him down of course - the ground rises down the side of the house and I didn't need to stand on anything at all :blush:

It was in its true glory by Thursday afternoon, this is beginning to fade now.

Fuckin' OUCH! How do you walk with that on the bottom of your foot? Nothing hurts worse than arch injuries.

Walking is much less painful today. Stairs still really hurt though!

Tripped, failed to break fall, hit chin on bottom stair. Seemed fine, iced it, went to bed, got up in morning.......:eek:

Still no sign of the bruise on my arse from falling on the ice on Wednesday. I can feel it.... either it ain't going to come out at all, or it's going to be really special....

Can I say (in a whisper) I love my bruises

I bruise really easily but it also follows that I hurt really easily! I admit I have used them to my advantage after the effect, but what the hell - if it hurt at the time it's fair, right?

(please note I would never use this falsely in a court of law and I hope it never comes back to bite me if I ever genuinely need to!)

I bruise really easily, but it doesn't tend to hurt much -half the time i have no idea where they came from. Of course that could be the beer..... ;)

I have none at the moment, but I can throw in this year-old example.

(Disclaimer: Link goes to a single Cellar post. The pic is not itself NSFW, but it was posted in an NSFW thread.)

What, its already freezing in Michigan, or is this a hockey injury?

figure skating

Figures !!

I love my bruises too, SG.

I dont bruise easy, but when I do they are usually pretty good.

It's 90+ degrees, 70% humidity.... ugh

had bone marrow taken from my breastbone once-caused a lovely butterfly shaped bruise all across both breasts-no pics though-pre digital camera era

I had an awesome pre-digital hamstring blowout bruise... I should be able to post some good ones later in the month after I do a Veteran's epee event.

When you post pics please let us know how it got that way - to satisfy our morbid curiosity.

I'm not as young and stupid as I once was. The absolute best/worst bruise I ever had was a doozy on my back-end. I was riding an inner tube thing (not the flying kind) behind a boat. I ski pretty well so I was showing off by standing on the tube. My buddy decided that was a swell time to show me just how fast his boat would go. And then he threw in a demonstration of how tight the turn radius was.

I skipped across the water like a flat rock and I went really far before I finally sank. I was very careful how I sat down for over a week.

More pics less chat! Are clod, ducks, sundae and I the only peoply who take pics of their bruises? Y'all are weird. As for giving reasons, I think guessing first is fun......

you lot are the weird ones. What kind of a weirdo takes pics of their bruises...unless of course it's to show the police and the courts when you need to show how much damage was done by whoever it was that hit you.

Bruise pics are awesome.

I will dig out some more tonite if I can.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a2...DSCF1021-3.gif

I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

hmmm. I must dig up the photos of when my cousin-in-law tried to decapitate me with our jetski. They were taken predigicam too, so I'll post them as soon as I get a chance. Cool thread. If I come across my C-section staple pictures, should I start a staple/stich thread? ;)

It's rather small, but the color is nice. This was a few years ago. Stubbed my toe walking around outside in bare feet.

http://static.flickr.com/56/127976937_dcb60f7109_o.jpg

That's quite impressive, Glatt. Are you sure it's not an injury from over-zealous toe sucking? Sheldon?

I have always felt that sex bruises and scars are the only ones worth showing off....I don't have any....

Cash register drawer.

Ahahah....no...I get injured far more often by "idiot customer swinging board around" or "stupid woman shoving cart into my stomach" than "cash drawer"

My wife gets those, but the ones on her arms of my fingers or thumb prints always seem to be worse.:rolleyes:

Sex injury? Noooo...guess again

unedited:

Razz, someone stepped on you?! That's terrible! :thepain3:

Not mine, but the boys (football practice).

Attachment 15101

Freaks.

OK. So, I think Razz's bruises are from a bar fight with a 3ft midget wielding nothing but a very stale loaf of bread and a non-lethal cat-o-three-tails.

Why three? Is there numerological significance?

Nope. I had not noticed I used the number three twice in one sentence (the numbers in this one were on purpose).

LOL I was going to tell after the next guess...but now you're all amusing me with responses...guess I'll have to keep it a secret a little longer :D

I think lumberjim's face qualifies as a bruise on the ass of good taste.

HOW'D YOU LIKE A NICE BRUISE ON YOUR BEANBAG?!!

I'll rochambeaux you.

I was once standing by a hydraulic press that broke and was hit in the face by a solid bar of steel - right across the nose and cheek. As far as I remember, that's the only bruise I've ever had. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures. I didn't consider the possibility that it was an art form.

That's what ya get for pissin' off a hydraulic press.

I've got a pic of a real bad one from my angeo somewhere.

My Dad showed my brother a picture of the bruise on my foot last night. IN CHURCH!

We were there for my niece's confirmation, so Dad had his camera of course. Before the service started he was checking it was all set up (there was a photo op at the altar to stop people taking pics during the service) and he came across it. He was so pleased with himself that neither my brother nor I reminded him that bro had seen the real thing when I was here last weekend.

1. Attacked by vicious three toed sloth with a penchant for headbutting, said sloth being offended by your apparent lack of belly button. (Where is it, btw?)

2. Playing ultimate frisbee on a mostly-grass field with a few bits of gravel ... dived for the disk, landed awkwardly on the disk leading to stomach bruising, scratches caused by gravel (see, personal experience).

3. Tragic and gruesome photoshop accident.

4. Oversized dog with amorous intent.

5. A small, one-man fighter penetrated the outer defenses, evaded the batteries, flew along this trench here (use your imagination, kiddies) and released proton torpedoes, striking this cooling duct (which explains why she has no navel).

6. Self inflicted for fashion reasons. Goddamn emo kids these days.

Seriously, though: there are sets of vertical scratches and horizontal scratches, so not caused by the same motion of impact. There is one serious bruise and a few lesser bruises. My best guess is you were at a party, had a drink, high-heel gave way and toppled you into a rather spiky shrub. Various scratches from twiggy branches, big bruise from the main impact on the trunk ...
Probably wrong though. How about I come around and kiss them better for you. Wait, you are expired jailbait aren't you?

They aren't scratches.

What, then?
Pinches? Welts (a la cat-o-three tails)? Love bites from a duck? What?

Ahem, stretch marks.

I didn't want to say that.

Apparently I did these (see n00bs thread in cellar meta), I'm sorry Razz. :(