Awesome Pick Up Lines.....
 

NOT!!

« Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

« Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

« My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

« Do you have a library card, 'cause I want to check you out.

« Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

« If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

« You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

« Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

« I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

« I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

« Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

« If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

« Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

« If you were a McDonald's burger, I would call you McBeautiful....

« I know I can't have your virginity, but can I have the box it came in?

Add your own :)

Do you work for UPS? I swear I saw you checking out my package.

Thanks Radar :) the chirping was annoying.

This is my fav.."My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in"

I've been using it daily.

I've got the F, the C, and the K, the only thing missing is you.

I like that dress. You know where it would look even better? Laying on the floor next to my bed.

Yeah, stupid, but I actually heard that one before.

Not clever so much as creepy.

"You smell like my mother. I like that."

"I'll give you twenty bucks now, and another twenty tomorrow morning. Thirty, if you call me Daddy."

"Get in the car. Now."

Salamander- the last one doesn't seem much like a pick up line? In fact, the last two seem like lines for prostitutes?

lol@pourbill's.

Actual lines used on me (and my cruel rejections in white):

"Do you think it's cheesy to ask a woman 'What's your sign?'"
"Do you have any idea how old I am?"

(I was 14. I wasn't as good a judge back then, but I swear to God he must have been at least 30.)


"Relationships just have so much baggage, you know? My friend and I have decided that I should just be a complete slut this semester."
"Sounds like your friend got the better end of the deal."

Well me and my friends were bored one day and we started listing horrible pick up lines and well one of them cam up with this (do not mean to affend any one)

"Are you jewish cause your on fire"

I did find it funny but cruel at the same time.

That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window.

I'm kidnapping you now.

Put this under your tongue.

Do you have some Mexican in you? Do you want to?

I will love every bone in your body expeicly mine.

Face it you aren't going to do better tonight.

You won't regret this hell I doubt you will remember.

I can grant you a wish. If that wish is to be nailed in a public bathroom.


Want to be famous; I'm a serial killer.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?"

"yes, it's..."

"Good, I have the place."

"Let's get some pizza and fuck."

"What's the matter- don't like pizza?"

Konnichiwa Ryu-san!

:welcome: to the cellar.

That's extra funny, cause Sheldon is flaming, baby!

Am thinking of trying these ones out down the local estate pub, whaddya reckon?
Classy chatup lines to try on men (mine own work):

If you were a bishop I would kiss your ring.

If you were a milkshake I'd suck you hard.

If you were a turkey I'd gobble you up.

If you were an airbed I'd pump you all night.

You're like a bellyfull of Bacardi Breezers - you get me all hot and make me want to take my knickers off.

You're like a couple of pints of Stella - you make me want to show off and then go and have a lie-down.

You're like a Vindaloo [very hot curry] - I bet I'll be up and down all night.

You're like incontenence - I'm unexpectedly all wet.

"My friend bet me $100 that you wouldn't go home with me. He's a real jerk, and I'm sure you would rather see me win $100 than lose it."
"Excuse me, but I dropped my Congressional Medal of Honor under you dress."

Ha pretty amusing, try this one!
Hey are you a thief cause someone's just stole my wallet. (instead of cause someones just stole my heart)

hmmm...

My fave from this short and... irregular list.

Jimmy Buffett has an entire (great) (nsfw lyric) song that fits perfectly here:

That would work a lot better if you substituted "A Buddhist Monk" for "Jewish."



Real true story ...

In the nerdiverse pickup lines are different.

Used successfully on me ...

"Compared to you and I most people have the IQ of a carrot."

That's what I call irony.

Lolz
 

Do you work at subway cause every time I see you i get a foot long

"Excuse me, Miss? Does this handkerchief smell like chloroform?"

verrrry funny. That one came up this weekend when I was watching "The Vanishing" with my girlfriend.

We might try it sometime... :)

I had this chick one time (at band camp), she wanted to eat a handful of pills to knock herself completely-the-fuck-out, and then wanted me to video myself doing whatever I wanted to do to her so she could watch it later. Whatever I wanted to do. Her idea.

Didn't go through with it, I started to feel like I was being set up. I mean, she could have said later she didn't want to do that, that I drugged her, raped her while she was unconscious, or whatever. Too many bad possibilities.

:headshake

Smart move, dude, that video would look pretty dodgy.

Whoa. Yeah, big alarms going off. You were right to get far, far away from her.

How's she going to paint your house if she's knocked out?

"...paint my house..."

LOL!

:lol2: