Need Some Help
 

I'm lonely and I miss my ex terribly. I'm ready to tell her I will leave the military and come home to stay if she will take me back. I'm working on a video of special moments of our life together. I need a sappy, tear jerking song for the background. Does anyone have suggestions for a good "I miss you & want to come home" song?

A big hit over here at the moment is "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. I think it's a lovely song. Bought the album in fact, only to find that it's not his usual style of music. I like the rest of the CD though, so it wasn't a total waste.

Anyway, it's not a power ballad and might help to make your little movie less corny and more heart jerky.

How about the Jimmy Buffet classic "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?"

I'm sorry, that was rude.

Ah, glorified memories of the ex. In the human male, these can be fatal. What you really need is an immediate replacement, something else to fixate on. I recommend some quality porn, stat! Have you been to redtube.com?

I like this one.


(Sorry! I know, I'm gonna burn in hell...)

For a situation like this, I don't think you could do any better than this song. Except maybe this.

Flint, delivery's good, but you gotta work on the timing.
:rolleyes:

Something about being a drummer... Uh... I guess it's not a flam unless the timestamp is on the same digit.

Totally Sarge, PM me your address and I will mail you a "healing mix CD" of what I call "Music to Breakup By"

It will help erase all the unhealthy hallucinations and illusions of so called "Happier Times." It has a 99.9% success rate at making you remember you are glad you are single BECAUSE...
when you are single the world is your oyster. (Except in months without an R.)

It is after midnight & I am drunk on vodka & pain pills. I like the suggestions, but I might better wait till in the morning to make a firm decision.

I just wish Sundae Girl was closer. Now thats somebody that could make me forget my problems.

Ah, vodka and pain pills...my ambrosia and personal kryptonite....good times, good times. How is your head this morning my friend?

Rest awhile, plenty of fluids, maybe a gatorade or similar, something salty, and no thinking and NO actions (esp. phone calls) until your brain stabilizes. Maybe not even then. A big, handsome alpha male like you----girls galore! Look forward, sweetie. The best is yet to be. :hugs:

Lord, I think my head is going to explode. Vodka & Lortabs are wicked, even worse than absynthe.

:comfort: TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF TODAY!!! Like you are in the ICU!!!~

Rest, rest, rest, funny TV if you can stand the noise of it, soup, fluids, fluids, fluids....love yourself. You are lovable! I have sooooooo been where you are now. Hell, just last week I was there!! heartache, lonliness, lortabs and vodka are a nasty brew. Is there a friend nearby who can help right now?

Ahhh. There's your problem. Everyone knows that absynthe makes the heart grow fonder.

dar, I thought it was fungus.

I certainly would...
.. but something tells me that after a while I would BE the problem. Vodka and pain pills sounds pretty seductive to me when I'm low, and I'm trying to stay away .

But seriously Sarge, sorry you had your long dark night of the soul last night. I hope things feel a lot better this morning. As Bri and I know, vodka hangovers have the worst drink-remorse fallout, so I hope you didn't make any calls.

I'll see if I can post some festive boobies if that would help.

Oh silly Big man.... I speak from experience here when I say... exs are exs for a reason... be careful not to lose sight of why they became so in the first place. IF it was your fault... learn the lesson life has to teach you and use it well in the next relationship. Don't pine away on lost love... it never leads to any good... it just wastes time and energy...and the only thing that comes of it is heartache...trust me on this one too. (No I'm not refering to my nonhousebroken former husband). Save yourself the unnecessary pain. Instead spend time doing the things you love doing... find a new activity to occupy your time... Focus on you and what is terriffic about the person you are... I bet your fellow Cellerites could help enlighten you if you are feeling lost on what those are!

I would have to ask why you are not together now? What happened might shed light on what WILL happen if you get back together. Personally, I make it a point to not get back together with ex's as if it didn't work then, it won't work. I know things change, but I'm just saying this is my personal rule. Just be careful and don't give up your career or anything big for a chance with someone because it's just a chance....if you do, I wish you lots of luck.

I'm wondering if Big Sarge is doing more lortabs and voddies....I hope not.

Tonight I will only be drinking Absynthe. I even have my own silver spoon. BTW, never drink it straight (you have to cut it with water & add sugar) or you will pay for it later.

Squidgirl - It is no big secret about my divorce. I was forensic psychophysioligist who had just left command of a multi-agency vice/narcotics task force. I rejoined the Guard in 2003 and was mobilized in 2004. I've been pulling active duty tours ever since. My wife couldn't stand it. She felt I had deserted our family, especially since she had problems dealing with my deployment for Desert Storm. Add the pay cuts and my mood change, you get the picture.

To sum it all up, I wasn't the same person when I came back and I put the military ahead of my family

#1) "only drinking Absynthe," -??? I've no room to criticize but plenty of room to empathize. I don't think should be drinking anything stronger than tea and cranberry juice. My humble opinion only, but my brain wasn't on vodka and lortabs last night. Unless it snuck out without me.

#2) Drinking is a depressant. Do you need to be more depressed?

#3) I care about you.

I'm with squidgirl on this one. I fear you will only resent the ex (still more) if you give up what you chose (army, tours of duty) to do. Why did you choose that path - this is the question you should be considering. You thought it was the right one for you then - why shouldn't it be now?

I'll be ok. I admit I did consider jumping out the window last night.........but I'm on the second floor and there is a big holly bush right under me. Damn that would hurt....

Limey - I'm tired and sick. I deployed to Iraq and KOSovo, plus served 18 mos as an instructor. Why did I do it? Because I was needed

My first reaction is of the "don't cling to your ex" variety, but consider that there are two cellar regulars who have got back with their ex and are making it work. I guess it is case by case, so I have no specific advice.
But don't screw yourself up (or down, rather) with drink and drugs. And for goodness's sake, don't call her while you are drunk at 2 am. Just don't.

Here's a suggestion: can you find time and opportunity to go hiking/camping for a week or two? Take no booze, go out alone away from everything, and have a long hard think about your life. You might find some clarity or decision. Just make sure you come back. Just an idea, I guess the weather might not be too great for it right now, though.
Good luck, I hope you find your path.

You folks call it a walkabout, right ZG?

Sarge, I have nothing to add to what others have said, except to reiterate that we care about you.

No, case found someone new.

:biggrindu

Thanks ya'll for being nice. Some things are just to heavy on the soul. Bye

Sarge, I hope everything's alright. You're starting to worry me.

Sarge, you're tired, sick and it sounds to me like you're depressed, too. Please be kind to yourself. Zengum's idea sounds like a good one if you can manage it some way.

Dude, get out and do something positive for yourself or someone else.

I think the hike is an excellent idea. When I was leaving my ex I highly considered going on a 6 month survival hike from California to Canada.

Everyone is right... you should lay off the booze... tempting as it may be and find a more constructive mode of coping. Don't beat yourself up about decisions you made in your past. Everything happens exactly as it should... if anything else was supposed to have happened it would have. You know the saying follow your bliss? Well... I think it stands to reason that you shouldn't have to give up your passion for someone else.

Out of curiosity... have you spoken to her about any of this before now? Is it possible that she wouldn't want you to leave the military... is it possible that the break up could have been avoided... or that the relationship could be repaired simply through greater communication?

Have you considered counseling?

Sarge, if you go away, where am I going to get links for all my kinky sex needs? I need you!

On a more serious note, as a military ex-wife myself, I can say that YES, deployments suck. YES, it's hard on the family, especially when there's kids involved. But personally, it is not an abandonment. I'm sorry your ex-wife saw it that way, and it blows that she was unable to realize the sacrifices YOU were making by doing what you thought was right. Leaving the military is not easy. You're tossed out on your own with no assistance transitioning, no job, and no advice. You go from ON ON ON to off, and no help getting there. I wouldn't recommend giving up your career for your ex; it will honestly make things worse in SEVERAL directions. You'll end up resenting her eventually, when you realize that once again YOU are the one sacrificing. You'll STILL have a hard time transitioning, which will make tension between the two of you worse. Please, PLEASE, think before you do anything. And if you need a pair of comforting arms and a place to stay and someone to keep an eye on you for a while, there's an empty cabin here with your name on it. Let me know.

do you have a farm that you could ride your ATV around, and maybe some big tires you could flip over to prove your love for her?

go get your wang wet.

Sarge, you ok?

I only just saw this thread. I've read it with mounting concern.

I've no advice to offer beyond what's been said, but I'd like to echo the offers of support *hugs* Let us know you're ok.

We'd like to hear that you are OK, Sarge. Please check in.

Sarge sighting ... talk to us, we're here for you matey.

bumpity
Hey Sarge ....

yeah. We need him to check in.

C'mon big guy.

Big Sarge, CHECK IN. We're very concerned about you and want to know you're okay. PLEASE check in.

Add me to the list of the concerned... I hope he just went "walkabout".
Please let us know how you are, Sarge.

Me too. :(

If Big Sarge posted while drunk he might be embarrassed by this thread.
But if you read this, please update us Sarge - people have shared far more intimate things and also have posted some real crap, especially while drinking. There is genuine concern here - if you don't want to rake up bad feelings by giving us details, just tell us you're still alive and we'll back off until you're ready.

Sarge is probably "tied up" as Treasenuak would put it. ;)

We can only hope.

Well, he was here last night, just didn't post.

I wish Sarge would post something. anything.


Sarge-----tell us you are here.

Been 7 days people begging the dude to post. He's not gonna.

Maybe he'll respond to "knock knock" - or return a holiday greetings - or... I don't know.
PM someone, Sarge, if you don't want to post out loud. Peace.

I don't at all mind Big Sarge not saying anything. I very much appreciate that he is quietly checking in occasionally; that is enough to let us know he is getting by. Thank you for that, Sarge.

Sarge contacted me through the Contact Us link. He is alive. He says he only wants to lurk while he works out some personal items. He thanks everybody for being so kind to him.

Thanks UT

I'm in no position to offer advice about the world or relationships, Sarge, but... I hope everything's as ok as it can be, and: the song you'd be looking for is "Here Without You", by (I think) Three Doors Down.

Still thinking of you, Sarge; glad you're still around.

Don't know if you're still doing this, but what about "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins? Not sure if the story of the song goes, but it's just one of those dramatic moment aiders.

Thanks UT. Much appeciated.