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Things That Made Dad Cool
I was trying to find some verse to put on the funeral paper thingy...I went on some sites. Was going to try and find something by Kipling or some such (the Indian connection). I also looked at mermorial verses.
I couldn't find anything. So I decided to write my own. This is first draft. I am thinking of playing with the verse order (possibly will reverse 4 and 5). But anyway. I'm pleased with it. Things that made Dad cool He was There, Quietly, never effusively But always He played a mean Harmonica, Soulfully Like a poet in the wilderness He knew the value of Beauty In a garden In the dance of a bee He was a Fixer Of broken And forgotten things He knew Stuff The genus of a flower The workings of a radio He was our Dad And the coolest man I know. |
it's perfect. And it will be if you change the order too. :)
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Dana I didn't know your Dad had died.
I'm so sorry. And I think the poem is wonderful. |
Dana, that is beautiful. It is perfect for the funeral paper thingy (that's what I would have called it, too.) :)
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Very nice. Makes me wish I had known him.
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Dana, forgive me if this is inappropriate or presumptuous:
Things that made Dad cool He was always there. But Quietly, never effusively Soulfully, He played a mean Harmonica, Like a poet in the wilderness In the garden, He knew the value of Beauty, In the dance of a bee Of broken and forgotten things, He was a Fixer. He knew Stuff, like the genus of a flower, and the workings of a radio He was our Dad And the coolest man I know. :: cries and cries :: |
*smiles* not at all presumptious Lj.
I like the reworking (apart from the in the garden bit, the garden was another example of beauty). I like the change in rhythm. |
Wonderful Dana - You did him proud!
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Beautiful. It must have been an honor for him to have you as his daughter.
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He sounds like he was a great man with a great daughter.
I'd like to write a poem about my father but there are very few words that rhyme with dickhead. |
Just the way it is, Dana. :thumb2:
You can't change the past. You couldn't change him. You shouldn't change you. You must change the future. |
*smiles* thanks all:)
Mum and Mart both really liked the poem. So it's staying in its original form for the funeral. I may play with it at some later stage. And yeah :) he was a great man. Stubborn, eccentric, brilliant and contradictory. :P |
That is so beautiful, Dani. It made me think of my own dad.
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LOVE IT. Reads a lot like the eulogy I gave for my dad a couple of years ago. Think they're ready for a refill on that tea now.;)
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*smiles*
I read it at the funeral. In the end we didn't do the funeral paper thingies. I just read it, which was nice, because people hadnt already skim read it ahead of me. It went down well. Peope liked it and thought it spoke of dad. To side-step the whole personal tragedy element of this and be totally vain for a moment: I was really pleased with how it read. I was also pleased with how I read it. It's a piece to be read aloud. |
Glad you read it instead of letting others read it. That way it's your voice remembering him how you want him to be remembered. I know not everyone understood my father, but he was still my father, and I wanted to remember the good stuff, without their interpretations.
I'll have to find mine and share with you. I remember mentioning that he taught me to look through knotholes in fences..... |
makes me wish I could have heard you read it.
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