Stupidity at Work
 

I should be able to make daily contributions to this thread.

today....

salesman: Uh.....we're going to have to re-do all that paperwork....I uh..just realized that the car we did is a stick shift.

F&I guy: You sonofabitch.

Don't they fucking drive the car they're buying anymore? Isn't that kind of like car sales 101 stuff? Isn't this the biggest Nissan dealer in the area? Don't we know what the hell we're doing?

Newb "What was the sermon on the mount?"

Me (bullshitting)"Its when jesus gave a speech from horseback"

Person "Don't be silly they hadn't invented horses back then"

I'm told said person has a degree.

I'd say that confirms it.:rolleyes:

Person should have added, "...They were only up to unridden young donkeys by then!" and delivered a broad ;) -- ba dump bump.

Supporting a store today and I shutdown one of their office computers to have them fix something minor. Took over an hour to get them to find the right computer to power back on. Why? Because they wouldn't listen to me, instead of finding the tower, like I explained to them repeatedly, all they were doing was switching the view on their KVM switch. I finally got frustrated enough that I had another technician talk to them.

So you finally met Ann Coulter.

did you try repeating yourself in louder and louder increments?

No doubt. :D

The award for dumbest coworker goes to a guy I worked with last summer in Wyoming. His first achievement was the near severing of his right middle finger. He was bored working at the wood pellet mill while waiting for the hopper to top off so we could continue filling bags (we could bag faster than the mill could produce pellets, so there was lag time every now and then). In his boredom, he looked at a bucket elevator and thought to himself "gee, I wonder how many pellets is in each of these buckets?" Here is a bucket elevator very similar to the one in the mill:
http://www.slav-chains.com/cart/imag..._elevator1.gif

The buckets are metal and move at a quick rate bringing material up to the top and dumping it out. He proceeds to stick his hand into the bottom hole of the elevator (see the lower green arrow in the picture, right in there) and tries to quickly grab a handful of pellets out of a bucket. Being the ex-meth addict that he is, his reflexes and general hand-eye coordination are not top notch. He doesn't time it right and isn't at all fast enough, and so his finger gets caught between a bucket and the top of that little opening. The elevator has an auto-stop function if something impedes it, and so it stopped right away. But not after the blunt metal edge of the bucket had gouged into his finger to the bone, fracturing it in the process as well. Luckily, he kept his finger and walked away with some stitches and his finger still usable too.

The second thing he did which merits this award was getting himself lost in the mountain wilderness with no map, compass, food, or any kind of survival gear. This was later on in the summer after the finger incident. He and I and three other guys were up in the Big Horn mountain range taking down a couple miles of old barbed-wire fence. Was a multi-day project that was about an hour drive from Sheridan, so we were camping up there in tents overnight. This guy decided to head into town one night after we got back to camp from working to go to the store. Said he would meet us back in camp in the morning for work the next day. Well he doesn't show up at the agreed upon time, so we wait for about an hour and finally decide to head off without him. He shows up after we leave and since he has no idea where we were (we were starting on a new section of fence that day), he decides to just take off walking trying to find us. Gets himself turned around and lost in an unfamiliar area, and has no clue where he is or where to go. Finds a fence he thinks is the right one (it wasn't) and starts tearing part of it down. Finally decides to try and head back to camp since it was getting dark and is still lost. Meanwhile, the rest of us have gotten back after tearing down the correct fence, and see his vehicle at camp but he is nowhere around. We wait until it is near dark and decide we have to go looking for this guy, he's obviously off on his own. As soon as we leave camp in our trucks, he shows up walking down the road and explains what happened. Needless to say, the boss refused to pay him for the day's work because a.) he showed up late and didn't actually do anything, and b.) tore down someone's fence (he doesn't know exactly where since he was lost) so now that guy's valuable horses or cows are liable to get loose one day.

Richlevy is helpless before the Right, avoids the Light, and so on, preferring to act like a juvenile. All that, just to stay left of center. :headshake

Marking tests in applied logic (see the Mildly Irritating thread).

Seriously, kid, the question asked you to read and analyse a bunch of bad arguments relating to UFOs and alien abductions. You might point out the argument from absent evidence, the appeal to ignorance, the ad hominem, the anecdotal evidence, the generalisation based on a small and biased sample. Why the #%&$ did you spend the whole section writing about dinosaurs???

Surely you can see the logical connection between dinosours and UFO's???!

:lol:

Yes I'm another leftie. It's a shame that "right" is synonomous with "correct"

Please please please guard yourself against Corporal Tunnel Syndrome.

One cable. Two projects.

One of them is not getting done on time.

Error between brain and keyboard

From a jewelry designer to me: "What kind of design would you use these beads in?"

Me: "I'm actually not sure, because I don't make jewelry, just beads."

Maybe that is not really a strange question? I was just a little stymied. Seemed sort of like a fine woodworker asking a logger what to do with a piece of wood.

What indeed. ;)

Well, Shel could certainly tell 'em where to stick it!

An MBA student came in demanding me to fix her computer because one of my co-workers supposedly messed it up. I asked her what was wrong and she said her email didn't work, her calendar service didn't work, and her bookmarks and desktop icons disappeared.

I first enabled the email account and then went to the start menu where she then pointed out how the icons have been rearranged.

"How could you rearrange those?"

*Looks at computer for a second*

"This isn't your personal account is it?"

"Oh......*changes account*....oh, it all works now"

*facepalm*

Yep I guess I'll just have to stand over here on the left/center side, along with Arlen Specter and about 200,000 Republican defectors in Pennsylvania.

It's like those scenes in the movies where the good guys leap from the speeding train just before it falls into the ravine.

Metaphorically speaking, you've decided to stay with the engine just because someone let you play with the horn.

As for acting juvenile, there's a reason for that. Your arguments fail so totally at a rational adult level that I must seek a more childlike state to even have a chance of being suckered....er....appreciating them.

So, in a way, this is all for your benefit. Enjoy. :moon:

I reckon he could make some suggestions for the beads, too!


Rich, excellent rebuttal of UG. :lol:

Overheard at 'Barnes & Noble' -

Customer is 30-ish male in 3-piece suit, briefcase, Blackberry, ect.
C: Excuse me miss, I want to order this book, but all the computer says is 'OOP'!
E: Let me take a look at that for you. Hmm.... Seems that this book is out of print. That's why it said 'OOP'.
C: I don't care what the computer says! I want this book!
E: Well, sir, I'm sorry, but it isn't in our system. Therefore, we can't order it.
C: Don't lie to me! I have a credit card! Order the book!
E: Sir, the book is out of print. It cannot be ordered.
C: FINE!!! You people don't know what you're doing! B. Dalton will order it for me!
Customer stomps out of store, on verge of tears.

I guess having a credit card makes everything possible.

Oh god. I used to work at a book store. That happened more than you would ever imagine. The heart breaks at it.

I see that B. Dalton is smart enough to get some employee to order it used off Amazon marketplace and give it a steep markup.

Why didn't he just order online himself for 1/10th of the cost?

fixed that for ya.

Honestly, yers is betta. :lol2:

Because he has a credit card, ya big silly.

If he was really somebody he'd have sent his assistant in to the store to throw that fit for him.

Lord, I can pass on stories...where to begin?

I guess mine was a little long.. here's the short version: same dude both times, once almost lost his finger by deliberately sticking his hand into an operating piece of industrial machinery, a few weeks later went wandering in the mountain forest by himself with no direction or means of survival and got lost for hours.

It is usually best to begin at the beginning.

my fav, I get this at least once a day. And no, they aren't doing it on purpose; the vapid stare comes through in their voice.

Other company's receptionist: "Hello, Welcome to Floor-Mart"
Me: "Hi, is Edward there?"
Other: "Yes"...*5-10 seconds go by* "Do you want to speak with him?"
One time I couldn't take it anymore, and replied "No, I'm robbing his house and wanted to make sure he didn't leave early".

Heh.. I once called in on a weekend (the day after Christmas) to try to talk to a doctor.

Me: I'd like to speak to Dr. X. [Whom I had been told was on call for my Dr.]
Answering service: The office is closed now. They'll be in at 9AM tomorrow.
Me: Well, um, I need to talk to somebody now. And I was told he was on call today. Is that true?
Answering service: Yes.
[pause]
Me: Well, I was thinking since he was on call maybe you could page him for me?
[longer pause]
Answering service: Yeah, I can do that.

Let's start at the end...recent means (to me) that I can remember more detail...

Last Saturday I was in Omaha, waiting for a load so I could take my brand new truck out for a spin. My boss called one in to me (my computer was down). I was to take a certain trailer loaded with dog food to a Purina plant an hour away. There was, however, one small problem... the trailer was damaged. He didn't know how badly. I was to inspect it and let him know if it was safe to roll.

I did so. The damage was caused by someone backing into the side and gouging a largish hole. Everything safety-related worked, it was just a hole so I upped the trailer and called the boss and told him the load was safe to go. He told me to hook it up and stand by for confirmation from the maintenance dept. OK.

So...

He calls back 03 minutes later and tells me to go ahead and take the load at 2130 to make a 2300 delivery. So far so good. At 2130 I arrive to take the load out. The guard stops me and tells me the trailer is still down. My boss has gone home for the day by then. Uh oh!

I call the on-duty dispatcher and get him to straighten this out so I can get going. All maintenance needs is his okay to deliver and then return the trailer for repairs. He emails the head of the trailer shop that this is what will happen. I wait.

At 2300 I call again to find out what the delay is and to get a new dock appt since the load is now late. I find out that the shop will not release the trailer because there is rain in the forecast and they don't want the load getting wet. WTF? I tell the shop foreman I can deliver the load safely and intact (dry) if I leave NOW. The rain isn't going to hit before sunrise.

No. I have to leave it there and cancel the load. This load is the last one leaving the area for the weekend and is my only chance to get going. Grrr.

It turns out that the rain didn't start until 1030 the next day. The trailer was left out and the load is now soaked and ruined. Not My Fault (NMF). I couldn't resist calling the weekend dispatcher and rubbing it in, I could have had the load delivered and the trailer returned long before the rain started.

The guy said, and I quote, "You are making too much sense...stop it!"

I just shook my head in wonder.

Oh yeah, I got a call yesterday from my last student.

Two days ago, he was issued his first truck, a Kenworth W900 (a really nice truck).

Yesterday, he took it out on his first solo load. And wrecked it. Turned it over on a highway ramp.

This after a record three months of training on my truck (normal is six weeks or so). And I TOLD him to take it easier than my truck, the KW is bigger and heavier than the truck I trained him on and turns much wider. So he went out and made one of the worst mistakes a trucker can make...taking a turn too fast.

We go around ramps so slowly so as not to turn the damn thing over and snarl traffic for a few hours. You know how frustrating it is to be behind a slow-moving truck on a ramp...imagine if it tips and you are stuck there for hours while DOT gets out a crane to remove the wreck. Not so bad anymore, is it?

So he goes and does the bad thing. And embarrasses me in the process as I just signed off on him a week ago. So I'm waiting for safety dept to call me and ask WHY I said he was good to go if he wasn't. As if *I* had an inkling of this.

Sigh.

This is a trainer's nightmare. This and the student wrecking MY truck, which fortunately hasn't happened (yet). Knock on wood.

My favorite, which happens all day every day:
Me: "John Smith's office. May I help you?" (Or something along those lines...)
"Is John there?"
"Yes, but he's on the other line."
"Well do you know how long he'll be?"
What I would like to say: "Well let me get out my friggin crystal ball here..."

I just had a customer come in and ask about extending his warranty. His wife bought the car in 07, and he was at 30K and wanted to extend before he ran out of factory warranty.....great. i love that. so, i spend 15 minutes telling him about the coverage that is available, give him payment plans for 2 different terms through the 0%APR program. he looks it all over, says he'll talk to the wife and let me know. OK, fine

10 minutes later, he walks back in while on the phone with his wife, and says, yeah..I'll take the 6yr 100K and we'll just pay cash for it.

Better still.

Ok, so I need to go into her deal and get the info on the car.....VIN etc....and I notice that she already bought a 6yr 75,000 mile warranty when she got the car.



sigh.

next time say, "he will be on the phone for the rest of the day. can I take a message?"

And get rained on over there, without wearing hats. Owing to expecting central government to issue them, I imagine. Two hundred thousand not-very-bright is only mass dumbth, rich. Take no comfort in numbers, if you have regard for quality.

It may be that Mr. Specter will join Joe Lieberman and enlarge one of the two categories of Democrats that are worth a damn to the Republic: hitherto, one of the two kinds was those registered Democrats in uniform, involved in fixing a horrible and festering situation that pupped out a lot of terrorist attacks, and the other one was Joe Lieberman. The rest of the national Democratic leadership had nothing for me. The pressures of actually having majority responsiblity now to prosecute the war and act in aid of the Republic may change that, but I think the chance is pretty remote, given their antics of the first hundred days.

The Democratic Party might get its soul back once it turns its back on its socialist element. This nanny-statism of theirs just disgusts the free, adult human beings. If they are disgusting you, do speak up.

You cannot show that my arguments fail -- only that through your own prejudices and most base biases, that they fail to reach your soul -- and that suggests to me that you may lack one. You've never made the least attempt to prove I'm thinking irrationally, either. For you, it suffices merely to allege it. What an act of self-hypnosis and illiberal closedmindedness.

I've never seen anything impressive from you, rich, really. Had you real confidence in the ideas that you imply you value (whatever those may be -- again, they've not made an impression), why, you'd make the effort to pass them through an abodominal wall to reach, old fellow, where you'd like to believe my head is. Frankly, I think you're mired in off-kilter beliefs. You tend, you see, to tell me so.

I, after all, believe my ideas are good enough to drive right through even the thickest abdominal wall, and can encourage the fortunate to pull their metaphorical head out.

That sort of thing is fun when you're little, but at over fifty, such things are no longer for me.

Third time's the charm, for the childish displays you have such an established habit of. When you lock horns with me, you end up looking like an ass.

If the cellar were my job I'd be pointing at UG now.

just because the thread has the word 'Stupidity' in the title is no reason to start talking politics in it.

This statement ought to be part of the official Cellar rules/instructions.

ah, work stupidity. There is nothing sweeter. I've loads but my favorites come from food and medicine:

customer: "How big are the silver dollar pancakes?"

Customer: "Instead of toast, can I get the side of ham?"

Customer: "These eggs ain't scrambled, these eggs is cooked!"

Patient: "Why does my arm hurt?"
Me: (alarmed) "You haven't been using it, have you?"

Patient: "His fever is 105! I was going to give him tylenol, but I wanted you to see that his fever was this high!!"
Me: "Lady, I would've believed you." (child goes into seizures)

Me (to bipolar pt. on a manic high) "Do you have any special powers?"
Pt. "I know exactly what you're trying to do here and it won't work."
Me: "oh."
Pt. "yeah, the answer to that stupid question is WE ALL HAVE WINGS BUT SOME US DON'T KNOW WHYYYYYYY!"
Me: "Nice INXS impression"
Pt. "thanks!"

Me: "On a scale of 0-10, with zero being no pain, how much pain are you having?"
Pt. "well...[thinks hard]...it hurts."

another goodie. Poor man's father had died at the age of 70-something. Daddy had been a smoker and heavy drinker, lover of biscuits and sausage-gravy and a hard-boiled type steel worker who caroused and partied all his life, really actually cheated death. This man, his son, came to me in tears and said, "You know who I blame for my father's death?"

Me: "Who?"

Son: "The doctors!"

was a near-perfect moment.

Tell the truth, Bri: Did you ever say, "Wake up, Mr. Dallas. It's time for your sleeping pill!"

well...of course I did! If I hadn't you would never had slept thru the night, which was critical. I need to have complete silence in order to play chinese checkers with the X-ray techs.

Maybe so, but would it get you anything worth having, Perry? To be esteemed by thickheaded leftists is small honor.

However, I find on further rereading that I've made a mistake. I conflated Richlevy with xoxoBruce, who has also been throwing juvenile remarks around where I can read them. I can only say it's an easy booboo to make, as their tone and their views are similar enough to suggest they'd get along wonderfully on the same cruise ship.

It is never the doctors at fault it is always The Doctor.
Death and destruction always follow that time lord.

[PAGE] I need two available sales personnel to the showroom. We have Guests waiting[/PAGE]

One of our sales manglers is in charge of coordinating the internet appointments and greeting customers on Saturdays. He always says, "I just wanted to make sure you were properly welcomed to our dealership" ....because he was told to make sure the customers were greeted properly. It irritates the other managers because if they've already greeted them, it's like he's saying they did it wrong.

the '2 available sales personnel' thing just irks my inner grammar nazi.