The Cellar 'Home base' academy awards...
 

Being new here, I would like some insight - so as to get to know a lot of you better. I have been banished from other websites because of prejudice matter, (since I a foreign and 70% deaf.) And I cannot express my sincere gratitude to Mr. Undertoad, Wolf, and DanaC, that have accepted me. Many of you have been here for years, so you know each others personality. So may I ask you this???

1) Who would you most like to meet on here?
2) Who is the most compassionate poster on here?
3) Who is the smartest poster on here?
4) Who is the happiest person on here?
5) Who is a poster that could use a big hug?
6) Who is the poster that has very meanigful posts?

Wishing you all the very best!!!
Pam.

How in the fuck can you be banished from an online forum for being deaf?

pam, come to chat. I'd like to speak to you in real time.

I was made fun of and got very upset after a long time of the abuse. So I said some very not nice things. Nothing personal, I just fought back.

Pam.

So you weren't banned for being deaf, but for being unpleasant.

I was very kind, but there were posters that had been on that site for years. I was new to the site. So the webmaster sided with other people that were more tenured than me. Being an outcast in real life is very difficult for me; but it is even more hurtful when people you do not know end up rejecting me.

I will never return to that site...and I know at times I seem very sad and upset here; but I have been kind/nice to everyone...and hope I have found a 'home' to express myself...

Your friend,
Pam.

Here's the thing (not hears, note). You clearly have issues about your disability. An online forum is one of the places where you can totally be equal. No sound required. So why did you mention it, why did you let it escalate? I call attention ho.

I mentioned it because that is why I was made fun of. It escaleted because I did not do anything until it was too late. I have seen people shot, stabbed, mugged, and run over. That's what happens living where I do. But I let my emotions get the best of me. I called many people on that site 'hicks.' Because most of them live out West and in the South. The Webmaster was from the South, and did not take kindly. The way I was treated there was inhuman...

Your friend,
Pam.

I am a hick and an American Woman.

The Martyr Victim Complex Described

By Charles Shahar Posted: 07.06.2006

The martyr is one who employs self-sacrifice and victimization as a way of avoiding to take responsibility for their life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibility for everyone else's life.

They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world.

They consider themselves a light to the world, a shining example of how a good and selfless person should behave. They honestly believe they are a model of virtue. They also believe that their goodness will eventually "rub off" on others. If they are abused and mistreated, they will suffer such indignities, because eventually their tormenter will see the error of their ways, and recognize what a special human being they are hurting.

Martyrs are often attracted to difficult and abusive people. They have a compulsive need to change them, make these people good, and make them appreciate and respect them. They pick spouses who are brutal or intolerant, who lack a conscience, who deceive and manipulate them, and who resist the martyr’s efforts to reform them. It is interesting that they unconsciously choose to be around impossible people, and that their efforts to rehabilitate the latter are doomed to fail.

The victim role is an important component of a martyr complex. It justifies in their mind that others are responsible for their pain. They engage in compulsive blaming to reinforce this conviction. The blaming functions to deflect the basic neurotic tendency of their behavior: They set themselves up to be victims. They do this to avoid taking responsibility for their life, but also to show that their own behavior is beyond criticism.

LINK

why did you mention it on that forum? That was my question.

awesome. Not Pam, but hits home in dwellars near you! ;)

From your writing style, I thought you were a man (no offense.) But I really do not have an issue with 'hicks.' It is just the fact that people were saying things like: 'What is a deaf girl doing living in NY?' And they would say also: 'Do you wear you're IPOD on the subway, just to make others believe you are not DEAF?' It was brutal. so I told this one girl from Georgia that she was a 'hick' and that the nearest paved road was probably 50 miles from her house.
she flagged the post and yes, I will admit, I did get banned for that.

Pam.

This is very true of me; but at least I admit it...

Your friend,
Pam.

That would be me.

I'm modest, too.

do you need a hug too??? I do not know how much more honest I can be with these people on here; and almost quit here last night...
I am dealing with what I can i guess. and yet I am viewed as a 'troll' with no feelings. I think I have expressed a lot. This thread has already been hijackked by others. I was asking a serious question at the beginning of the thread which is why i started it...

Maybe i should just leave??
Pam

Maybe you shouldn't work so hard at interpreting every comment as being an attack.

Well, Nirvana posted some very negative comments. I sent him a PM telling him he is an asshole. What accredited university did he earn his PHD in pyschiatry from. I am very, very MAD!

That man is mean!!!!!!!

a very angry Pam.

nirvana is an american woman
wolf is an american woman
kerosene is an american woman

sorta see where you're going wrong here yet?

See where you're going wrong here?

Yeah, do you see where you are going wrong?

(I just thought I would add that, since nobody else thought to say it.)

Besides, Nirvana is kind of a mean guy. But as a woman, she is quite awesome.

@foot3, sorry, but it's a holiday, I want to go to the zoo and feed something. I'd rather it was giraffes, but I'll settle for pigeons if I have to.

perhaps, I should not have done it. But look at all the rude comments directed towards me... Now I risk banishment...

How long will I last???

I tried to be welcomed here...read the reason why I started this thread. Please.

Pam.

you make a shitty guy too. You're far too artistic for a start. And you can clean.

i'd make a great bloke, though. I even have the jawbones for it :(

Pam, this is an American Lesbian forum. You get pissy with American women and refuse to post pictures. And call people Mr.

I did not know this was an American Lesbian forum. From what I gather, there are many foreign women here. I am both. And truth be told, I am bi-sexual. There I said it. If this is a lesbian forum, why isn't that being spoken about????????

And I see men on here, so what is the deal???
I started a thread to get to know you all better, and it turns inot a thread about my life. I DO NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE!@@!!!!

I am very upset!!!!!! And I will not add a 'smiley face' to this post!

Pam.

You can't force people to welcome you or to agree with you.

The world is not divided into people who love you and people who despise you.

You are choosing to respond in negative ways.

You are choosing to present yourself in ways that might lead to negative interactions with others.

Take a couple of deep breaths.

And a couple more.

There are only three things you can get banished for here.

Trying to break the board.
Trying to use the board for something illegal.
And being insufferably annoying.

Okay, four if you count being banished for being a spammer.

But what I really trying to point out here is that the bar on "insufferably annoying" is set really high.

waaaaaaaaaaaaah! :lol:

PP, maybe you should post a proof of life photo. People would be more inclined to believe your story

Oh, and one other thing ... even though I really like comfortable shoes, flannel, and football ... I am not lebanese.

Dammit! I was really trying, too. There are so many hot chicks around here, how could I resist?

Thank you, though, monster ;)

Just one disappointment after another!

I am just asking for acceptance. When I post a thread, I want the thread to be ABOUT the thread, not about me. Yet, I am called a 'troller' or whatever that term is. I am only me. And now I need wine to calm down. Very upset! ....not sure waht to do or post again............ and sometimes I fake not being able to hear well because I just want to fit in. I ride the subways with an IPOD, yet I really can't hear it. If you really care, ... if you really want to know...read my posts... THEY are from my heart... there is not spam. If i am annnoying then it's best i l;eave. no?

yes you are.

but the thread is about you.

yup

You sir, are mean...

Jackass,
If you do not like me, stay the hell off of my threads. You offer very little on these boards.
OK asshole??

Pam

Lovely person! Sociopath comes to mind, do you want to rip the flowers from my beautiful hands? no more PMs Pam if you have something to say, say on the thread I may even respect you.

The best way to get acceptance is not to post threads about your problems right off the bat, but to step back and read some of the other forums and what the other members are posting. Be a part of the community. Don't suck the community into your world and expect everyone to understand. You don't even know what gender half of us are. It's pretty obvious in most of the other threads, but you continue to get pissed at people for not understanding your situation. Step away and do some reading, first.

I need another beer.

also female.

...and thanks ...I practice daily :D

It's called thread drift, sometimes thread piracy, and it's just what happens.

It isn't about you, particularly, it's just what happens, here and on every other darn forum on the internet.

I know it happens. It happened on the other site I was on; which is why I came here. If I was this popular/unpopular in high school, maybe I would not be so screwed up, perhaps??

Many of hte people here have not been to NY. and now if they come here, I will not help them!

Angry Pam!

Pam, one piece of advice. If you can't handle a little bit of criticism/misunderstanding/joking/thread drift then talk to your professional about these issues instead of posting them all over the interwebz.

And now I have the word 'slacker' under my name. I know what that word means. And I am not a 'slacker.'

Even madder than the last post,
Pam

And I wouldn't spit on you if you were dyin of thirst!

Shit stirrer MTP.

oh Fuck! i was totally planning to visit NY -what will I do now?

MTP stabs people with forks

but you have no job. so you are a slacker (like wolf ;) )..... You are the madderist ever. Shall we alert the guinnes book of records?

Hello pam, welcome to the Cellar. I've been quite amused reading your posts.

By the way, I don't know how those words get under your name.

Monster is 100% pure evil, wrapped in a sesame seed bun

You probably won't even find New York without pensive pam's help.

buy a map, and take the 4 up to 125th. hillbilly!

OMG, Pam, your are blessed! Jesus posted on this most holy of days and he spoke to you. I rescind all bitchiness herewithtoo. You have been chosen.

Not nice at all...

Ouch, that hurts...hurts real deep.

there are no hills here, it's a glacial plain......

I appreciate your kind words, but there is not anything I find amusing about it (no offense to you.) Just trying to survive I am. And people here view me as a circus animal to do tricks for them.

I do not believe that is fair to me.

Thank you again for nice words,
Pam.

....and why would you think my name is billy?

I wanna take the E to Madison Square Garden!

1) Undertoad
2) DanaC
3) tw or ZenGum
4) kerosene or ZenGum
5) monster or wolf
6) footfootfoot or shawnee

8th avenue line: A, C, E
or you can take the 7th aven line 1, 2, or 3

MSG 32nd st. between 7th and 8th.

Pam.

you hug me, you're dead meat on a dull stick.