I don't know what to do
 

I'm seriously at my wit's end.

There was a conversation in another thread about those of us who cannot stand mouth noises: gum chewing, eating with your mouth open, lip-smacking...

In the last couple weeks, my cow orker, my cube neighbor, who I really really like, seems to have gone off the deep end with the gum. It is ALL day, every day. Just constant little cracky slurpy type noises, but I can't STOP hearing them. When I think I've tuned it out...it seems to get LOUDER.

I've tried turning on a desk fan. I've worn earphones (then a girl got sort of snippy with me yesterday because she was standing behind me--people here like to sneak up like spiders) and I didn't hear her immediately.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to ignore it. I just can't. It goes on and on and on. I think I should just deal with it but everytime I hear it I get more and more tense. I was ready to jam a pencil in my eye yesterday: i was trying to concentrate on a particularly difficult issue and all I could hear is "snap...slurp...pop...crackle...slurp."

I found this article concerning the same thing. I SHOULD just say something to her, honestly. I just don't think I can bring myself to do this.

http://www.sector404.org/archives/20...wing-etiquette

Meanwhile, it's driving me straight bonkers. :sniff:

I wish I were deaf to it. I wish I could ignore it. I wish it didn't bother me. But none of those things are true.

I never want to hurt her feelings. She's a darling person.

P.S. I should also say I can deal with lunch noises. It's, at most, an hour.

Humor always works. Have you tried something light hearted like
"Shut your fucking piehole you fat cow or I'll come over there and stuff this phone down your throat and staple your goddamn lips together."

You could get yourself a set of wireless headphones. Then people sneaking up behind you know that you can't hear them; and you can listen to music or learn a foreign language.

Lots of people in my office do that.

Maybe I need to quit chewing gum.

That's an idea.

I have a feeling the wigs of big will frown on wearing headphones. I might not hear the shooter and have time to escape.

I should maybe talk to the director, but GAWD it sounds so pathetic.

No, THAT'S what runs through my head. Except the fat cow part. She's a tiny thing. :rolleyes:

Oh, and I have been known (to myself) to take an anti-anxiety just to try to not jam a pencil in my eye.

"Hey doc, can you refill that script?"

"Well, why did you run out?"

"My cow orker chews gum too much, and it's awful."

"Hmmm. OK. Here's a referreral." *hands me a card from the looney bin.*

Karen Carpenter?

Maybe get her a cone of silence.

Lean over the cube wall, grin, and say "that thar gum sure does sound yummy. Could you, maybe, spare a piece for me?"

I'll mull it over.

Just so you know, I meant talk to the director not in an "I'm tellin'!" way but maybe she could give a gentle reminder at the next staff meeting about "personal noises."

For now, I'm putting in my earbuds. Luckily, I won (through marlboro.com...HAHA) a pair that actually fits into my ears, though they give me a huge headache.

My ears were not meant for human consumption.

her gum chewing is harshing your buzz in a very serious way - needing an anxiolytic because of this sounds like you should win this one.

that's too serious to just try to ignore. I'd tell her - in a really nice, non confron. way.

I know. Such a wimp, I am. I don't want to cause ill feelings.

It feels so silly. Crazy. In my defense, there are people with super-sensitive hearing.

Example: when a Harley goes by, I think my head will explode.

Maybe I'm the Bionic Woman and I forgot.

earphones AND a rear view mirror.

I'm not kidding about the mirror.

Some in my office have had the mirrors on their desks. See, they think we're 12 and we have to face with computers facing out and asses ready for kicking.

I can't stand to see a mirror accidentally, so I don't know about the mirror.

See, now I just need to be deaf AND blind. :(

Pammy!

Does she deal with the students? If so, fill out a complaint/comment as an anon student

She does, we all do, but I don't think she chews gum up there.

I feel like such a noodge!

yeah, you seriously need a mirror. and a concealed speaker with a tape loop of her gum chewing and smacking played even louder than she is so your drowns out hers.

right, but at least it's a way to get the topic broached.

One day, I passive-aggressively tried to chew gum like she does. I couldn't keep it up. I couldn't stand it.

I dunno why, but the idea of you passive-aggressively chewing gum is hysterically funny.

Hmmmm. Maybe. We don't have an office suggestion box, and I'd hate for it to go anywhere else, like the VP.

Grown-up thing for me to do would be to tell her.

But, noodge speaking, not sure I can.

Thanks!

It was pretty funny! :D

ok, for the greater good, get a pack of gum the same color, chew it up enough so you can stick it all over the place around her cubicle and in places that will annoy the boss/other people. Like the coke machine, photocopier that you don't need, boss' door handle.... Sit back and relax.

Now we're getting somewhere! :lol:

@ Monster: You are the undisputed revenge champion. I bow to you.

You should walk up and point a gun in her face and give her a solid leg strike. When she is mopping up her pee, tell her in the future it will be one trigger squeeze for each stick of gum.

lookout, even my liberal-minded self finds that an appealing idea.

Apparently, I have TWO triggers (pun intended): not being able to leave when I want or need to leave (long old sad story) AND gum noises.

IM what about singing, off key, random words, with appropriate silent spaces from certain Tony Orlando and Dawn songs?

"Knock three times...

twice on the pipes...

doin' down there?
alone every night
live right above you?
I can hear your
I can feel your
below me,
You don't even
I love
Oh, my darl
Knock three
if you want
answer is no.
sweetness,
Means you'll
the hallway.

Guaranteed to make her batshit insane within the hour. If she calls you on it, smile apologetically say you didn't realize you were singing aloud, wait three minutes and get right back into it.

it's worrying, isn't it? :lol:

attack of the moralizers about the rongs of wrevenge in 3...2...

You bitch. You orphaned MY post.

Make that THREE triggers.

;)

You should come on over to the tough guy wanna be/poser side. we rule.

How old is she? Is she young enough to hear that high-pitched anti-teen sound that we old folk can no longer detect?

no, I orphaned footsie's post

Correction: monster didn't orphan my post. She gets to live.

She looks really young but is actually like 35!

The dark side? Sounding better all the time!

switch out her gum with laxative gum?

has she taken to gum-chewing to stop smoking?

No, not smoking. If she were a smoker, I might be more apt to say something like "here woman, here's a smoke, because your second-hand gum is more lethal than any cigarette ever was."

What's her email address, just out of curiousity?

We need to start a rumor about the carcingenic properties of chewing gum

gum_chomping_rulezATyagoo.com

(you cannot make an @ sign and make it NOT email tag it.)

WikiAnswers is very helpful. paraphrasing mine:

Q How do you ask someone to stop chewing gum loudly?
A Say "Please stop chewing gum loudly".

love it



http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you...ing_gum_loudly

I know! I said that's what I should do. I also said I'm a big wimp.

:(

here: http://manners.quickanddirtytips.com...etiquette.aspx

you need these shoes

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EPNW87pEJQ...ewing-gum1.jpg

Why you shouldn't chew gum while exercising: you might swallow it and fart....

http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/pict...image00112.jpg

well, I didn't know that. I wonder if you're kidding.. I mean like the rear view mirror in your car. anyhow...

Having a somewhat definite sense of your own personal space isn't too much to ask. Especially if you're required by your employer to keep track of things, papers, whatever. If you're supposed to have a space, then having something like this intrudes on the space. It's legitimate to act to have the intrusion removed. It's not a common complaint, for example, a radio playing in the next cube would be more readily understood. I have had people ask me to stop doing something that intruded on their space. It's ok to ask. It's also ok to ask someone else to ask.

I wish you luck.

To be fair you kept sticking your pecker into the gap between cubicles. How many times do you have to be told it isn't a glory hole?

any slit in a storm...

Earplugs

http://cellar.org/2011/earplugs.jpg

I have earplugs for sleeping, though usually I get by just using a fan for ambient noise. Kind of presents the same problem as musical earbuds. I can't use them all the time, because I get massive headaches.

And I can't hear the shooter.

I wonder if anyone would mind if I brought in my radio that plays cricket sounds?

Buttplugs?

Would you recognise Lookout if you saw him?

I'd recognise his distinctive aroma of heartless wealth and downtrodden workers.

You'd probably hear my wicked laughter first as I ground up the bones of poor children.

That might take a long time in a student financial aid office.....

How about a nice note written on a cheery hallmark note card? Who could take offense to that?

*starts working up a list*