What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
 

No, really, what should one do with a drunken sailor?

What would you do?

Well, I think it depends what sort of sailor we're talking about. Is it a captain type sailor or a merchantman, or maybe a naval officer or a deckhand even.

I think there are different applications for different sailors.

We had a dog named Sailor once. He had a son. We named him Pirate. They were good dogs.

Step back away to keep my shoes clean.

All sailors are drunken, it's a requirement of the job.

GO DRINKING!

Put him in the hold until he's sober?
Shave his belly with a rusty razor?
Put him in the long boat till he's sober?
Put him in the scuppers with a hawse pipe on him?
Put him in bed with the captain's daughter?
Beat him with a cat 'til his back is bleedin'?
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it??
Truss him up with a runnin' bowline?
Give 'im a dose of salt and water?
Stick on 'is back a mustard plaster?
Send him up the crow's nest till he falls over?
Tie him to the taffrail when she's yardarm under?
Soak 'im in oil 'til he sprouts a flipper?
Put him in the guard room 'til he's sober?
Shave his balls with a rusty razor?
Make him the skipper of an Exxon tanker?
Give 'im the hair of the dog that bit him.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over?
Shave his back with a rusty razor?
Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end?
Heave 'im by the leg with a runnin' bowline?

Treat him with compassion because he's a victim of a dysfunctional upbringing?

Nahh.

Snort!

Rumpy pumpy?

Just what is a hornpipe, anyway?

Ask Sheldon.

A hornpipe is a generally lively folk dance.

Your middle name isn't Peg, is it?

:worried:

As in Aunt Peg?

Yes. You aunt gonna peg me, thanksjustthesame. (backs away)

Dirty boy.

I've posted the words to the Australian Sailor's hornpipe before and I sahll again:

Tiddlywinks old bean
Have you ever seen the Queen?
Have you ever seen a salmon up a dead sardine?

I've seen a tinker up a tailor
and a soldier up a sailor
But I've never seen a
salmon up a dead sardine

Catchy little number on mandolin or ukulele