The Cellar

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)
-   Current Events (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   I’m gonna be a Mormon when I die – You be one, too! (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=26875)

SamIam 02-14-2012 12:37 PM

I’m gonna be a Mormon when I die – You be one, too!
 
One of the more bizarre Mormon rituals is the practice of posthumously baptizing the dead – whether they want to be or not. Naturally, Mormons believe that the dead will be eternally grateful for these proxy baptisms "because all who have lived on the earth have not had the opportunity to be baptized by proper authority during life on earth, baptisms may be performed by proxy, meaning a living person may be baptized in behalf of a deceased person. Baptisms for the dead are performed by Church members in temples throughout the world."

Mormons mostly baptize their own ancestors, but they also target the dead of other faiths, including Jewish victims of the Holocaust. While the dead offer few protests, the living can become deeply upset and offended when their deceased loved ones are subjected to this strange ritual. Holocaust victims who were murdered because of their Jewishness suffer the ultimate indignity of having their faith taken from them once they are dead. Hitler would be pleased. Kill them and then send their belief off to eternal extinction courtesy the LDS.

Apparently not content with their work among the dead, the Mormons are now reaching out to living Jews – most recently, Nobel Peace Prize winner Elie Wiesel, author of many books including Night – a horrific account of his years in Auschwitz (incredible story – read it if you haven’t already).

Here’s a snip from Wiesel’s Nobel Price acceptance speech:

Quote:

No one may speak for the dead, no one may interpret their mutilated dreams and visions. And yet, I sense their presence. I always do – and at this moment more than ever. The presence of my parents, that of my little sister. The presence of my teachers, my friends, my companions…

This honor belongs to all the survivors and their children and through us, to the Jewish people with whose destiny I have always identified.
What incredible arrogance on the part of the Mormons to take from Wiesel his faith – even symbolically! What an astounding show of fundamentalist belief over riding understanding and compassion. The Mormons would take from Wiesel and other Jews the very essence of their being. Oh, and they’ve already nabbed Wiesel’s late father who perished in the camps. Yep, Dad’s a Mormon now.

Story

Mitt Romney anyone? No? How about Rick Santorum who doesn’t even believe in birth control? No?

Sheldonrs 02-14-2012 01:07 PM

It's not common knowledge but General Schwartzkopf is a Mormon.
He works part-time at the Tabernacle in SLC as a greeter.

They call him Stormin' Norman, the Mormon Doorman.

(Long way 'round for a joke but I like it!) lol

infinite monkey 02-14-2012 01:18 PM

*snicker*

Stormin' Norman, the Morman Doorman ex-Warman.

glatt 02-14-2012 02:17 PM

It doesn't matter. I just took a moment of introspection and converted everyone on Earth who ever lived to glattism. You're welcome. No need to thank me.

Seriously, I'm pleased the Mormons do this because it means they have the best genealogy records on the planet. They have gathered virtually all the available records under one roof. My parents stopped by Salt Lake City a decade or so ago and my mom spent a day in their library researching our family tree. Got us back to around 1000 years ago on one branch.

SamIam 02-14-2012 03:56 PM

I've used Mormon genealogy records myself and was able to trace my American side of the family back to Massachusetts in the 1600's. That was fun. But I think converting living (and dead) Jewish people who went through the Holocaust is clueless at best and very disrespectful of who they were and what they endured.

mw451 02-14-2012 04:17 PM

Baptizism right after Birth.

Rhianne 02-14-2012 05:12 PM

I plan to convert to mormonism just before I die. Better one of those bastards dying than one of us, eh?



...please feel free to move this to the 'poor taste jokes' thread...

ZenGum 02-14-2012 08:56 PM

Some people take their make believe game far too seriously.

It bugs me when the assume/expect that others will take it as seriously as they do.

wolf 02-15-2012 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam (Post 795120)
How about Rick Santorum who doesn’t even believe in birth control? No?

Catholics believe in birth control, just not effective birth control.

Two of the countries with the highest Catholic population numbers are Italy and Ireland. Drunk or sober, neither the Italians nor Irish can dance. You know why? no rhythm. And that, my friends, is why there are so many Catholics.

It thought we'd discussed the posthumous baptism issue a couple of years ago, I kind of remember RichLevy saying something about the practice, but I can't find the thread. Of course, it could have just been at one of his fine barbecues.

Sundae 02-15-2012 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 795345)
It thought we'd discussed the posthumous baptism issue a couple of years ago, I kind of remember RichLevy saying something about the practice, but I can't find the thread. Of course, it could have just been at one of his fine barbecues.

Name dropper.
Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 795271)
Some people take their make believe game far too seriously.

This.

Baptise me all you want. Means nothing.
Misrepresent me when I'm dead, say I did things and said things and held beliefs I never had. I'm dead, what harm can it do me?

SamIam 02-15-2012 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 795345)
It thought we'd discussed the posthumous baptism issue a couple of years ago, I kind of remember RichLevy saying something about the practice, but I can't find the thread. Of course, it could have just been at one of his fine barbecues.

Heh! I wouldn't remember if we discussed it two months ago, never mind two years. The thing here is that the Mormons have ramped it up by attempting a proxy baptism on a living person who is a holocaust survivor and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize - very different from baptizing their great grandfather, Joe Blow, who died in obscurity 70 years ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae
Baptise me all you want. Means nothing.
Misrepresent me when I'm dead, say I did things and said things and held beliefs I never had. I'm dead, what harm can it do me?

Naturally, it won't harm the dead. The problem is that when the Mormons target specific groups such as Jewish victims of the holocaust, it sends an extremely negative message to the living.

Sundae 02-15-2012 09:02 AM

I'm not saying what they're doing isn't wrong.
Ouch - too many negatives in one sentence!

I'm just adding my opinion, which as an atheist and one who believes my life is no more than a ripple in time, is that it doesn't matter to me.

I get what you are saying though.

wolf 02-15-2012 09:49 AM

Baptizing me as a Mormon won't make me or my Soul that of a Mormon, any more than running me through a car wash won't make me a car.

I looked into them years ago, like greater variety in my underwear choices.

Spexxvet 02-15-2012 10:56 AM

Let's find a way to unbaptise dead mormons.;)

infinite monkey 02-15-2012 11:15 AM

Ask and ye shall receive:

http://unbaptism.org/

SamIam 02-15-2012 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet (Post 795445)
Let's find a way to unbaptise dead mormons.;)

Quote:

infinite monkey] Ask and ye shall receive:
http://unbaptism.org/
Nice! The perfect way to get out my resentments about the Mormons - and believe me, if you live right along side them the way I do, you get many resentments about them. Plus, I just had a vision of Moroni and he says its cool. I'll get out the phone book for the Mormon town of Monticello (about 50 miles from here) and get to work. :fsm:

infinite monkey 02-15-2012 12:08 PM

YOu should post them all over, on sign posts, light poles, fences etc. :lol:


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:05 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.