I hope you step on a Lego
 

poke your self in the eye while driving


have an itchy asshole all afternoon


drop an ice cube, and be unable to pick it up. then when you finally do, bang your head on the ope freezer door as you stand up

Not you

just kidding

I hope you get one of those weird itchy spots on your arm!

I hope you stub you little toe.

I hope you bang your shin on the bedframe.

I hope you feel like you have to sneeze but can't.

I hope your eyelid twitches all afternoon.

I hope you put too much faith in a fart after taco Tuesday.

I hope the entire staff orders lunch (delivered) and doesn't pass the menu to you.

I hope you get a blood blister from those pliers

I hope your knicker elastic fails.

I hope you get there just in the nick of time -after all that dodging and weaving in traffic ....to find your appointment is cancelled.

I hope the arch of your foot itches in church.

I hope you lose count when employing the five--second-rule

I hope you drop the roll off the top of your food pile while holding your plate and a glass...and you're a long way from a table.

I hope your cake sinks after you think it's going to be fine.

I hope your funny bone bangs the corner of the wall and no one cares.

I hope you poke your ear drum with a cotton bud.

I hope you get that Meghan Trainor song stuck in your head :)

You're welcome, Jim, have a nice day

I hope when you jump out the window, you catch your eye on a nail

I hope the last page of your book is missing

I hope there's something gooey, that you can't identify, on your coffee mug handle and I hope it gets on your hand

I hope the water fountain shoots water up your nose

I hope you look around for your sunglasses for a moment, only to realize they are on the top of your head.

I hope you forget what you were going to

I hope the hot young girl hitting on you in the bar turns out to be your daughter from a one night stand 20 years ago.

Old Boy!

I hope you fall and scrape your knee.

I hope you bang your shin on the coffee table.

I hope you get that Meghan Trainor song stuck in your head!....:mad:

I hope your scooter is out of gas, and you're out of cash, and can't justify going to the ATM for $3.00 to put gas in it, and it's nice out, and it's prolly one of the last scootable days of the year, and you really want to ride your scooter, but, you can't, cuz yer outta gas...uh, yeah, that.

I hope your Viagra kicks in 5 minutes AFTER she leave in frustration!

I hope you put on your winter coat for the fist time of the season and find a wadded up used tissue in the pocket.

I hope your fucking two year old keeps you awake and then tells you in the morning that they're tired.

I hope you have mudd butt and run out of toilet paper in a public restroom

I hope you don't mind, but

Spare a square?

I hope your coffee is too hot to drink, then by the time you remember to check it again, it's cold.

No.

Spoiler below.

That was "The Judge" that that happened to. Actually, the judge was Robert DeNiro, the hit-upon was Robert Downey Jr.

Highlight at your peril.

Well, yeah, you are right. I had forgotten. Ew.

I hope you get a tickly nose hair and can't find it with tweezers

I hope you get a bag of mixed nuts and by chance there are no cashews in it.

thank you

Because it's all brazil nuts.

And Nigger Toes.

I hope you crack your windshield

When I was a small kid, the adults called Brazil nuts “nigger toes.” Racism wasn't a concept to me then. The idea that they were “toes” bugged me.

^WHS. My mom turns all shades of red when retelling that story every holiday.

I hope you clip that nail a little too much.

I hope your girlfriend develops a FUPA.

I hope you scoot your eye out.

Aka Vajomach

I hope your light turns green just as a long funeral procession starts coming through

I hope your frog croaks.

You hope him frog croak?

Dead mouse family in your duct.
Dog shit transfer from heel to pant leg to car seat to fingers when your nostril is gummed with crusty boogs.

I hope your conjoined twin gets a really bad case of Montezuma's Revenge.

I hope you drop the ice cream off your cone.

I hope you lose your whistle.

I hope someone steals your lollipop.

I hope you get sunburn. On yer ballsack.

I hope you get a bland batch of Cheez-its.

I hope that, when secretly picking your nose in a public place, you pull out a long string of bogey attached to the crusty bit you're trying to remove just when you notice someone's looking at you.

I hope your family signs up for a reality show and they hire someone else to play you!

I'd be glad!

I hope you were hoping for something else.

I hope my autobiography is a best-seller and I spelled your name wrong ON PURPOSE.
And I did make your willy sound gimpy.

I hope Westboro baptist church attends your funeral

Damn, man.

I hope you get bitten by an aroused capybara.

I hope the ex you dropped when she had cancer comes back in good health and, having joined the executive level of your company, decides that your skills aren't sufficient for the project that could really validate you.