Discussing Clodfobble's book
 

OK I had to stop reading to comment. And I didn't want to hijack the original thread. But Clod hit on a topic of particular interest to me.

Ms Fobble talks about looking at eyes when conversing with people. (I hate that too, especially if their eyes are blue). But.... here's what I wanted to say...... whatever people look at, it isn't both eyes. It can't be.

My daughter has one dark brown eye and one pale green eye. it's very unusual for people to notice immediately. Many know her for years and only find out when someone tells them. Then they are horribly embarrassed. Or amazed. Or both. But I can assure you it's he norm in our experience. We still await the Michigan Women's Club Water Polo Team noticing. It's been six months of up-close-and-personal contact so far.

Girls have eyes? :confused:

The thing that annoys me is the assertion that you can't possibly pick up emotional content without looking at the eyes. What crap. Tone of voice says a million times more than a few eye muscles ever will, and for that matter there are more subtle muscle movements possible around the mouth than there are around the eyes.

I think eye contact is for narcissists, only to make sure they're looking at you.

I find eye contact an awkward thing. I often have to remind myself tomake eye contact with people, because I forget.

Yeah ... I'm a left eye looker. When I realize I'm looking at the left eye of someone with no vision in that eye, I look at their right eye, and it's very uncomfortable.

I believe you, but I'm amazed that people are so unobservant.

I disagree. I believe that making eye contact is showing respect for someone.

Bah, eye contact is for dogs and servants. You've been brainwashed into being distracted from the crosshairs. :p:

I watch peoples' mouths when they talk. I glance at the eyes, sure, but, mainly it's the mouth.

I think it's because I've worked in loud environments so much. Chainsaws/factories/foundries/loud music...

What?


I usually go back and forth between them unless they have a wandering eye, then I look at the one looking at me, I figure the other eye is probably high on drugs and looking at the patterns, man.

I wonder if there is a correlation between your dominant eye and the eye of the person you look into.

For me I kind of stop actively looking at the other person, my eyeline drops slightly down and to the right as I listen, then flicks back to their eyes for a few seconds, then drops away again. I think it's difficult to think consciously about what I do unconsciously, or less consciously. Eye contact is often conscious, I deliberately flick my eyes to theirs so they know I am listening, or because the content of what they or I am saying seems to demand that, but not always, some of it is automatic I think.

I look at their tits

In Spec. Ops., operators are trained to not make eye contact during transient encounters. Studies have shown that making eye contact significantly increases the chance of someone remembering having seen your face before and placing it. Being recognized can be a disadvantage later when one is trying to keep a low profile or blend into a crowd.

This kind of stuff keeps unit psychologists gainfully employed.

Even if he doesn't have big ones?

interesting, if superficial, piece

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ntact-revealed

Of course, nipples are the most important feature, big boobs just get them closer.

The scar on Andrew's leg. I read that last night.

:eek: 8 inches of tissue?! Am I remembering that correctly? 8 inches?

I'm impressed.

8 centimeters. :) But still nothing to sneeze at.

Still very impressive!

did you just crush Glatt's dream of 8 inches? :eek:


I read that bit last night too

I always knew that being the parent of an autistic kid could be very hard, but all those stories of literally climbing on top of the damn nutter and pinning him down so he wouldn't hurt himself are unreal. Sure. I am impressed by the scar on Andrew's leg, but it pales in comparison to all that you have done. I've said before in the other thread that you are an amazing mom, but it deserves repeating. You are an amazing mom. I know you had to be, but not everyone placed in that situation would have the stamina and drive you have had.

And he was only 4, and it was only for a summer. My close friend still does it on a regular basis, except her son is 12 and as big as she is. She's actively avoiding thinking about what she will do when she can't do it anymore.

Think of how hard it is to control a 12 pound cat, times three for a 35 lb kid. :eek:

Yup I mean without nipples, tits would be pointless.

Badoom tsaaa

I finished the book the night before last.

It's a story of your experiences, so it doesn't follow the story arc of a typical fictional novel. Normally a story builds some sort of tension or suspense, there's a bit of an exciting climactic bit, and then the tidy ending where all is brought together and summed up. Your book can't follow that pattern.

Even so, I found myself getting drawn in at the beginning of the book. What's this mysterious behavior? How are you going to deal with it? What treatments will you try? It was like I didn't already know your story. Your writing style is really engaging and drew me right in. Things got really bad, then they got better, then they got bad again. Rinse and repeat. I was getting tired of it all right along with you.

Naturally, when you got exposed to all this stuff and learned as much as you did, you started forming opinions about it all. It was interesting to hear those opinions and impressions. I'd gotten glimpses of them here in threads over the years, but it was nice to see them expounded on a bit more.

Splitting Minifobette's story off into the later chapters instead of keeping it all strictly chronological worked. It took a little more effort to keep the timeline straight in my head for her, but I think worked better than if it was strictly chronological.

I though the discussion about the two different mom roles you played was an interesting one. Minifob's mom vs Minifobette's mom and how they behaved differently.

And the ending, where you talk about book endings and try to figure out how to gracefully end this book.

I thought you did a very good job with the book. You write well, and kept me engaged.

My wife had asked me what I was readign when I started the book, and as you described some of the classrooms you had encountered, I asked her about them. In her job as a school based substitute teacher, she often winds up in the MIPA (autism) classroom for a big chunk of the day while teachers have meetings. A lot of the classroom stuff was very familiar to her.

Last night, I told her I was done with the book, and I thought there would be parts of it that she would find interesting. She was reading a magazine, and laid it down on her chest, still open to the page she was reading, and started thumbing through your book. Twenty minutes later, I look back over and see she was in the middle of the 2nd chapter and the magazine was still lying open to the article she had been reading. She's hooked.

Good book! Now I feel like skimming through the thread again.

If the book is even half as engaging as Clod's posts and interviews, it's going to be a must-read.

I'm waiting until I can afford to get a kindle copy, rather than asking for a loan from a dwellar/requesting through the library, as I want to be able to read it in bed or on the bus without having to wear glasses :p It might be a little while, but I will get to it eventually. Just wanted to be clear that my not having read it yet is in no way indicative of a lack of interest. I am uber excited for Clod and her fobbles/fobettes - dwellar done good.

It's a hooker, for sure. Sometimes it get deep, but never plodding. I was hoping it would show clodfobble naked, and it sure did...to the bone. Honest introspection and the turmoil of self against the world.

The split of the kid's mothers was genius, making the push-pull clear to the reader.

Yes, there's no happily ever after ending, but it left me convinced everyone in the family is going to be OK.

One of my imaginary friends in Canada worked for years in the administration of their version of child protective services. Now retired, she's working with an ad hoc group to stop the government from cutting off services to Autistic children over five. She's anxious to read this story after I mentioned it, so I sent her a copy. Hopefully it will give her more insight.

Day before yesterday a very kind dwellar, whose name begins in 'xoxo' and ends in 'uce', gifted me a kindle copy of the book :)

I was going to start reading it thatnight in bed, but when I stated reading the forward I realised I was too tired and wasn't taking anything in so put it down and went to sleep. So, last night, I wanted an early night, with a view to getting up early this morning. I got to bed by just before eleven o'clock (not bad for a saturday and a bank holiday weekend to boot) very excited to begin the book. I was all set up with a bedtime cuppa and a couple of rounds of buttered toast - Carrot was snoozing at the end of the bed having just enjoyed his nightly dentastix chew. The house was quiet, and the room warm and cozy. I though to myself, 'I'll read for an hour - and that's still a pretty early night for a weekend'. Given I was still pretty tired, I thought I might not make a full hour...


Would anybody like to guess what time I read til? Anybody? No?


Quarter to fucking four I forced myself to put down the kindle and turn off the light. And it was a real effort to make myself do that. I could easily have just kept reading.

Clod, hon, you are one hell of a writer. Several times I had to stop reading for a moment just to marvel at the way you'd phrased something, or the imagery you'd used, or the way you were structuring the narrative - just roll it around my mind a little to savour it, before carrying on. Twice I had to stop for a few minutes to compose myself, because I could just have sat and sobbed - two moments in particular got me bigtime: your realisation at the play park, and when you lay on his bed ready for him to come around from his anaesthetic after having tonsils removed - when you whispered to him. I could have bawled like child at both those points. In fact I'm a little choked up thinking about those moments now.

And you're funny too. Well, not that this is a surprise to any of us, but it so comes through in your writing. You have such a dry wit.

So - I think, Clod, you owe me an apology for wrecking my early to bed early to rise plan for this weekend. How dare you write such a compelling and addictive book.


;p


Seriously though, well done you. I am more than a little bit in awe.

Also - as dwellar there is obviously the added thing of remembering some of the posts you made at the time. Moments of recognition, and seeing how those times fitted into a bigger picture, were their own kind of satisfying. They were also moving in their own way - because they were a reminder that this wasn't just a story of a mother, her son and family, but my friend's story. There were several times I just wanted to give you a massive hug.

:blush: Thanks, D.


For what it's worth, you're not the first person to me mad at me for ruining their sleep. My kids' principal emailed me with the subject line "Tired," and the school nurse told me she intended to read it over the summer, and then came to me a few days later saying, "Well, I finished it," like I'd done her an injustice. :)

I'm glad I left my copy at work! :)

I finished it yesterday and discovered there's such a thing as leaky eye s well as leaky gut. The echolalia reminded me of Little Voice.

I had never heard of it, had to look it up. I used to love Jane Horrock on Absolutely Fabulous!

Definitely worth watching. Horrocks was great as Bubbles in Ab Fab. I love her accent - it has a bit more of a burr to it than the accent I grew up with - she's from Rawtenstall (pronounced rotten stall), which is more pronounced than the Bolton accent, but I used to hear that accent a lot growing up.

Here's an interview from 2009. that shows the accent off.

Yes, the forward had me a little worried this was going to be work, but as soon as I got to, "Welcome to Holland", it became pleasure, great pleasure. :thumb:

Yeah... doctors aren't writers, it would seem. I wanted to edit or at least shorten it, but there wasn't really a way to do that without just putting words in his mouth, and the whole point is it's supposed to be his words, not mine. I've been assured no one reads the foreword anyway. ;)

I would guess someone who needs this book because they are scared and confused, would have no problem with it. Just us voyeurs who want to get to your stuff. :blush:

I've watched LV in its entirety since I've been here, I think on Netflix, but if not, it was youtube, so you should be able to get hold of it if you fancy.

Maybe I should read the forward....