I think I have an addiction
 

I think I have an addiction. I like alcohol. I like to mix it with pills when I get stressed or when I get bored. I can go a week without drinking, but the urge gets me. I can sleep. I can relax. The only problem is I often blackout. I feel like my choices are to drink till I am blind or suck on the barrel.

No pity please. I'm adult and I make my own decisions. Better to be an honest drunk than an liar

I hope you have blackout lights installed on your vehicle in case it happens while driving. :eek2:

Seriously though, the pills and alcohol are old hat; but, what do your VA docs have to say about the blackouts?

Has the VA crisis intervention hotline been of any help either to you directly; or, in motivating your docs to try different approaches?

I'm sure you already know that before you suck on the barrel you first have to squeeze lime juice on it and sprinkle it with salt. Doing that to a good barrel should alone be enough to make you try all other alternatives first. :eyebrow:

You can do it; but, you don't have to do it ... it's up to you.

I understand what you're saying, sarge. Just stay with us, that is the thing we can ask of each other. Hugs.

Sarge - Don't make me come down there ...
It'd be tough driving with the finger and all. ;).

Can you throw yourself into another passion? I traded my problem behavior for the fencing and mountain biking etc.. Work to exhaustion, sleep like a baby, lather rinse repeat.

Never had you figured for a barrel-sucker, Sarge.

Alcohol w/pills (actually anything that "makes it better") can become a crutch very easily. And you don't need no stinking crutches. You can walk on your hind legs.

God down to the lagoon and smoke a little weed.:joint:

Believe it or not, I have never tried weed because it is illegal. My daughter says it would it help me, but I won't try until it is legit. Everyday I struggle with suicide because I miss my soldiers. i know they are waiting for me. God, I miss Tull

If you killed yourself, would your children end up struggling with suicide because they miss you and know you are waiting for them?

What sexobon said. It's a hard struggle, but you wouldn't want to leave that burden and legacy to your kids.

If there is any viable treatment option within your reach - please run, don't walk.

I haven't smoked weed in 20+ years, but I'd do it again in a second if it meant I could function better, enjoy my life and spend more time with my kids.

Hey guys. It is Monday morning and I have my head on straight. Thanks for putting up with my crap. Some how or some way, I am going to beat this problem.

So forge ahead with the whoring, and making babies with busted families, and drinking, and threatening to off yourself... but don't you dare go get high, even therapeutically, because that is the end of the goddamned world?

For the record, suicide is also illegal.

Yep, it is pretty stupid. Plus, I need to man up and deal with my issues rather drinking and whining.

Try putting on big girl panties. It works for me. I think I even have pandapanties around here someplace!

That's your answer for everything!

Hmmm. Pandapanties sound interesting. I wonder if they come in my size?

Careful.

Pandapanties might lead to panting pandas.

It certainly is! The world needs more panties and less tighty whities. Trust me!

I have leopard boxers. Used to have boxers with boxing squirrels on them. Maybe I can find a pic of me posing in those

I'm scared.

I have Pink Floyd boxers.:cool:

To cover the dark side of your moon, I'm sure.

that was good one right there

Outstanding!

I know it is my standard answer, but it was drilled into my head over and over for so many years. I really do need to quit the pity party and stand on my feet. I really am trying hard. I get on here to confess my weaknesses because sometimes you have to tell somebody. I honestly do not have anyone irl I can confess these things to.

In full disclosure, I made it 8 days without a drink or an opiod. Last night, I screwed up and drank a whole fifth of vodka. I admit I enjoyed the release, the buzz, and deep sleep. It was the longest period of sleep I have had since my last drunk. Yes, I'm a chronic insomniac.

I feel bad for you sir but, to be sure, I was talking about big girl panties.

They may still be the answer

Ok, but don't feel bad. I need someone like you to make me feel accountable, to hold my feet to the fire. I really need you and others to show some tough love.

Another thing, never say sir to me. I was and always will be a sergeant. I wear that title with pride and we are never addressed as sir even when we are as old as fuck.

Honestly, I say sir to everybody, it's one of my things.

Me too.


Which makes me think, why do I say sir to everybody? And my answer is that I intend to express respect to the person I'm addressing. It's a good answer; it's true.

But in this case Big Sarge doesn't hear the respect I intended. He hears something else. That's fine too. But he's gone further, explicitly asking not to be addressed as sir.

I still have respect for Sarge, so I have to use a different way to express my respect. The "burden" is on me to use the terms/mode that is acceptable to the person I'm interacting with.

This reminds me of the very animated discussion about pronouns, when Ibby brought up a similar subject. To continue to use "sir", despite my proclamations of respect, would be like sticking my thumb in his eye, the opposite of respect.

Is this "political correctness" on my part? Or is it simple consideration and normal decency?

It's kind consideration on your part to try to break your habit when addressing Sarge, but it's also kind consideration on his part to forgive your inevitable slip ups.

You tell 'em babe.

Oops!

Sirgeant.

On second thought, that might be a little too close to insurgent.

Still staying straight by not having anything in the house and trying not to be alone too much. I struggle

In which state in the Deep South do you reside? I ask cuz...ya' know...this.

Not Oregon and Washington state.

I tend to agree, and I hope you can pull thru. ;)

John, how quickly you forget we have spoken over the years. I'm in north Miss.

I know full well we've spoken B4, but I can't be expected to remember every detail of our communications.

Everybody has his own addiction...