The Insult Thread
 

ok, I made a nicey nice compliment thread, so here's the other side of the coin. pick your fights here.


i'll start:

Sycamore, you're ugly and your mom dresses you funny!

What a stupid idea!

:angel:

There's no use trying this, LJ. You sell cars. It doesn't get much lower than that ...

aahhhh, go shave your back, ya mook! :)

I don't sell cars. I sell money.

Now go and boil your bottom, son of a silly person.

You don't need to use an insult, you just use your breath.

If hot air was music, you'd be a brass band.

You could screw a Cheerio without breaking it.

I'd punch you, but I don't want to get any stupid on my hands.

You're just jealous that she has a higher sperm count than you do.

this will never work, huh wolf,?

never underestimate the potential for lowness in people, you 'tard!

Just because your mom sells it, doesn't mean you have to give it away for free.
-----
Thou impertinent beef-witted apple-john!

Jimbo, wanna see a botched abortion?

Take a look in the mirror...

hey! if i wanted any more shit from you i'd squeeze your head! nudge, nudge NBN:D

'zat all you got, you Cliff Claven mofo?

Any time you need to be insulted, you infected sore, just let me know. :)

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

oh, so by referring to my calling you "dycamore" you assume i mean you have "more dick"? what if it is interpeted aurally by the french: loves dick?

tee heee heee

thanks for the typing tips, hammer

Are you high right now? It's almost obvious.

You need another hobby. :)

I should have known.

Let me try this again.

I will explain it in short sentences.

I do not wish to confuse you further.

I didn't say that an insult thread wouldn't work.

I said you were a car salesman.

THAT was the insult.

Should have known that would just fucking VOOOOM right over your pointy little head.

Otherwise you would have a job where you could make real decisions.

Instead of having to "check with my sales manager" every 10 minutes.

ok, let ME put THIS in short sentences since you ignored it the first time:

I'm the FINANCE MANAGER.

I am not a car salesman.

I AM the guy they check with.

I make the decisions about what rate you'll pay. among other things.
:p
now don;t you have to go clean out some psycho's bedpan?

Oooooooh. So you sucked at selling cars, but they trusted you with the math ... ;)

When the bedpan issue comes up at work ...

"Excuse me, could someone with less education that I have give me a hand here ..."

i sell, babe. I sell silly! bring a tank in here, I'll sell the fuckin thing!....I'll push your fuckin face right in the hood, and say," you buy this fuckin car!" it works, I SELL! Maybe I could tone it down a bit, and just choke a few people.

besides, you don't get promoted because you suck, you get fired or put on 3rd shift. ;)

The Jerky Boy's material is funny even as text.


Dont make me come ovah dare for you eda, tough guy!

Don't make me drive over there, Jethro.

I dont think it was actually worded as drive, but I fucked it up either way.

You'd probably sell your wife and kids if you could.

so who says i cant?

One of these days I'm gonna have a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong talk with that boy.

I was thinkin' about driving up to Philly to buy a car from lumberjim - I figgered, well, if I'm gonna get screwed over I might as well get poked from someone who could use the money!

:D

Plus, if he really screws you over, there are enough of us up here to deal with him appropriately.

You must be taking fitness training from Jabba the Hutt!

ya know, i'm hurt. I thought we had something special. how could you possibly question the fact that I'd give each and every one of you the deal of a lifetime? sniff sniff.







deal of a lifetme for highly qualified buyers, some restricions may apply. contact dealer for details

Ummm...the law.

Because you are a car salesman (for all practical purposes).

That fucking noodle...who in the hell does that newbie think he is?! Getting all political on us and shit...

Insult threads are not a game to be played by children like yuo.

Hey, you're on Cellar turf now, newbie...why don't you go hunt for a Ground Round or something? ;)

(noodle was considering starting an insult thread...I just wanted to bring the current one to his attention.)

Why don't you go hit on a wench or sumtin? Noe wun would mind.

Nah...she reminds me too much of Ann Coulter.

Somebody needs to buy her a sense of humor.

Yah. I wanted to start an insult thread. Not this. This is kindergarten. This is some kind of fucking support group. "Hello, my name is ____, and I can't sling insults without lapsing into the same, tired, I'm-ok-you're-ok bullshit that has made my life the stinking morass of mediocrity my dad said it would be every time he beat me in my hollow skull."

All together.... "Hello, ____."

:eek: ooooo. "You're a car salesman." :eek: You guys got some l33t ski11z.

Sit.

Your cock is assprone, nerd.

The "I'm illiterate" thread is over there, junior. Back to school.




lol i hope i spelled illiterate right.

Back on the short bus, tard. I see mommy wrote your name on your clothes.

Might I add that your head was replaced with a gigantic, ugly, shriveled whale penis?

Nothin like what I wrote on your mommy's face last night.

Here. Go Play.

Funny, mom told me another story where she had to borrow an electron microscope to find your mr. happy.

Samples have to be in a vacuum for them to be viewed under an electron microscope.

So unless he now has no penis, I highly doubt the accuracy of that statement.

And look! What have we here? sycamore, my people, is who you must blame for the devestation to come (puts on headphones and waits for the really dirty fighters to come in). Let's just all simmer down for a minute, let the master collect his thoughts.

Ahh. There......oOps i must make toilet. more thought collecting.

You'll be in there for the next century. Yuor not the brightest star in the Mikly Way.

Would it be natural if he had a penis and then lost it to a vacuum?

K back. No, she didn't keep it to look at under a microscope, she took it to make a cast of it so when I'm gone she can use it to pry your head out of your ass. She looked into cutting a hole in your belly so you could see out, but that cost too many food stamps.

Guess what I got, instead :D:D:D:D:D:D


WHALE PENIS WHALE PENIS WHALE PENIS

So, you've got three whale Penii, stuck in a vacuum at Telefunken's grafitti'd surgeon/mother's place,about to be cast into a cranial pry bar.
And why were you in the toilet for 30 minutes.
I had a whale of a time at kindergarten.

Hmmm... You claim to be a master. But all I see is one that is a baitor. Thus yuo must be the Master Baitor from hell?

Hey, what can I say? Nobody knows me like me. Bet I can get some in your hair from here. Close your windows.

Shit, I can't. It's still at his mom's. I swear if she's put it on ebay...


Telefunken, as fast as you get these posts in here, there's one thing I gotta know. Who is reading them to you in the first place, and why aren't you in bed dreaming of one day getting laid by your first cousin.

And you dress funny, and you don't love the Lord.

I'm out for tonight boys. Took the ambien, must visit dreamland. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
:zzz:

Thank you for the insult thread, Jim, and the heads up, syc. It made my night.

You both eat each other's anuses, and that's probably when syc told you my idea. THREAD PIRATES!!!

jk
night

dude.

how many dents are in the ceiling above your computer desk? Didjer mamma hide the riddilin on you again? try coffee. really, really strong coffee. the caffeine can stimulate seratonin production thus mirroring the effect........this is all going right over your head, i can tell.......tell you what:



eeeeer! :joint:

Ambien + conversation = :gray:

sorry bout that.

Anyway, you guys give up too easy. Here's my coup de grace. Feel my wrath.

Damn, man. That wasn't even "Dude Where's My Car" funny. That was...that was....just...disturbed. Maybe you better lay off the Ambien. It's doing nasty things to you. ;)

Stop singing like a witless Eunuch while rubbing Rogaine on your swollen manboobs in the hope of growing some chest hair and come away from that window you are wiggling your ass out thinking some passing stranger will grope it for the first sexual experience of your worthless life, and get over here so I can force-feed you a generous helping of Shut The Fuck Up.


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