Foreplay, lets talk about it
 

Is it really necessary? What turns you on? I just tweaked my wifes toe bad when she started bugging me, I'm busy. I think she wants it.

Lets share please.

Just set the ashtray on her stomach, she'll know.:p

I'll just say yes, it's necessary, and leave it at that. :D

ladies love the courvosier.

Give her two aspirin and a glass of water.

Handing over my paycheck is the best foreplay!!

no need for all that crap. just say you want it and get the clothes off. foreplay's best when it's thrown in the middle.

NO WAY! 4play is the best bit! there is no main without the entree, or at least a pre-dinner drink is called for.

I read in trusty cleo that men can climax within 2 minits of being aroused, whereas it taken women 6 times that amount of time! think about it guys.. it has to be fair.

Foreplay, schmooreplay. The best sex is spontaneous. In an elevator.


And..... It's even better with a partner.

:confused: Then that would be "middelplay". ;)

Anyway, when done "properly", foreplay starts WAYYY before anyone disrobes or hits the bedroom. ;)

I'll leave you intellectual folk to figure that one out. *grins*

Isn't foreplay getting the other person in the mood?
Therefore, it starts when you first set eyes on them. "The Look" (hereby TM by me) gets the ball rolling in the right direction.

Yup!

While I agree with "The Look"(tm), getting a person in the mood doesn't always require the other person to even be in sight. In other words, foreplay isn't just physical.

Years ago, I remember hearing a woman say that foreplay includes the anticipation of what's to come (no pun intended). She mentioned how some people respond to their partners calling them during the day (at work, at home, etc.), to "talk them up". This way, for the rest of the day, they are distracted by the thought of meeting up later on and...well you know. ;) Or, the partner sends something to their S.O., like flowers or balloons with a sexy note (plus, you'll be the envy of everyone at the office..hehe). Then, you have to really build it up: perhaps a romantic dinner, either at home or at your favorite place. Of course, dinner at home...closer to the bedroom. Then, you can..um..incorporate dessert into the physical foreplay. ;)

Of course, this isn't for everyone. If not, then you can always go to AskMen.com
for a man's POV on physical foreplay (I actually found it to be a bit humorous, because it was so..."manly" written).

LOL, or you could go the route of "mind control":
TeleHypnosis Pro

That askmen.com article was pretty interesting, and funny in places. Kind of like foreplay, I guess.

In talking about communication during foreplay, it mentioned asking your partner, "What are you thinking right now?" or "What would you like me to do?" How do you deal with always getting the same response, when the response is "I'm just thinking about what I can do for you", or "I want you to do whatever you like"?

I don't actually say it, of course, but what generally occurs to me at that point is, Hey, I've been telling you all of my secret fantasies and what turns me on for years, what I like, etc., and getting zero from you - it's like you either don't have any imagination when it comes to sex, or you're embarassed about having one.

She's not a prude, by any means, but when it comes to actually verbalizing her desires and intimate needs, it's like pulling teeth to get two words out of her.

All work and no play makes Tom a dull partner, be it 4, middle, or after play.

By the way, 4play doesn't necessarily mean beating around the bush, does it?

getting the clothes off IS foreplay. just saying you want it can be enough to get the ball(s) rolling.

No wonder you have problems with relationships.

Heh! ;)

I mean, taking off the clothes is fine and dandy...when you want that quickie, but what about the things that lead UP to that point?

"Slow and steady wins the race." Amen. :D

YES!, lets talk about.....
 

I like getting it, so I best like giving it......

my question is...why do women let us guys just roam in the dark about this (no pun intended)?

I asked my finace, when she seemed like she wanted more, what DOES she want me to do, she showed me and it's been better since....

YAY!

Later!

wolf, my problems in my relationship have nothing to do with sex! i think it's actually great for arsen that he doesn't have to jump through hoops to get laid. i mean, yeah, there's a place for foreplay, but what's wrong with him saying "i'm horny" and me saying "bang me now"?? our best foreplay is actually when i say no and i won't let him touch me and he has to chase me all over the house and talk me into it. he loves that, seriously...i just don't think it's necassary to make out for 20 minutes, have oral sex for 20 minutes and then get around to it. if it works out that way, sure, that's great, but it's not necessary, that's all i'm saying.

Cajun Foreplay...


"Hey, honey - you awake?!!"

pffttt!! I could beat that.

Sure it's not necessary, but it does tend to bring variety into the mix. Now wait, I see somewhat of a contridiction here. You said that it's great that Arsen doesn't have to jump through hoops to have sex with you...and yet, you play the game of saying no, avoid his touch, and have him chase you around the house and talk you into it. :confused: :confused:

I agree StacyV
 

At time it's just a 'get those panties off, were going to town girl!' and I think me and my finace have a great roll then....

I mean when it's time and I fell like just getting her on her hands & knees for a good fuck, well she enjoys that as much as I do.

At other times though, she wants to go through the whole, you go down on me I'll go down on you thing and then get to it....either way, business is getting taken care of

ladysyc- i do both. sometimes i'm like "okay, let's go" and sometimes i make him work for it. variety, you know?

My favorite thing is to call up Dagney and tell her, "Saddle up the stove, hot mama, we're ridin the range tonight!" That seems to be sufficient.

Brian

Nobody eat at Brian's house.

even ball rolling....
 

is all well enough to get it going!

:doit:

Well enough for somebody who has balls.:D

TRUE ENOUGH.....
 

I guess for those who are 'testicularly challeneged' some 'lip' work would due......:p :censored:

Hey I've got a blackbelt in tongue fu, and that has come in handy during the foreplay sessions. I can usually get a woman off at least 2 or 3 times before insertion. Then then I give her the best 3 minutes of her life. ;)

Seriously though my wife is strange. She is new at the sex thing and she was complaining because she was in pain. She said I was too big down there and she was too small and then complained I was taking too long to finish. How many women complain because their man's unit is too big and he's taking too long?

Now that I'm gone, my wife keeps calling me up on the phone telling me she's horny. Man that sucks. When she finally starts getting into it, I have to go and won't see her for a year!

She said I was too big down there and she was too small

*cough* unlikely. Not because one doubts your claims, but because procreation requires happy loving with a wide variety. Google for "vaginismus". Affects 2% of women.

I'd be happy if I had to worry about the foreplay or not issue, so those of you with the 'problem,' rejoice!

Why don't you have to worry about it???
 

And good for you for not having to worry about it.....:confused: :violin:

She said I was too big down there and she was too small

I experienced this once with a boyfriend, and the guy wasn't terribly large--it was that he was too LONG. Basically kept bumping into my cervix, and I can tell you that hurts like a mofo. Try just slightly less deep penetration, and I bet the complaints stop immediately. ;)

"She said I was too big down there and she was too small and then complained I was taking too long to finish."

One of my friends divorced with her husband only because the sexual life with him was a nightmare. She had a lot of pain having sex with him. She visited a few doctors, but nothing was wrong. He was too big for her. Also, he didn’t want to admit it is a problem, and be gentle.

Actually I told her, "the more you do it, the less it hurts and the better it feels, so let's do lots of it" but she didn't buy it. She's new at it. I think things will be better if she just practices. But that's tough when you're 9,000 miles away for each other.

"the more you do it, the less it hurts and the better it feels, so let's do lots of it"


That's wrong:) I mean, that doesn't help as you think. If she has no medical reasons to have a pain during the sex, BOTH of you have to work on the problem trying different positions etc.

A blackbelt in Tongue Fu
 

Tee hee, good one!

that's why i firmly believe in having sex before marriage- to make sure you're compatible in bed and you like it with that person. you have to take a car for a test drive before you buy it!

gross but ill say it anyway!
 

it might have something to do with her level of comfort during sex. which is completely different to being turned on. A woman can be really really turned on, with hours of foreplay and still be "tight" or "clenched up" internally because they might not feel comfortable for any reason (ppl can be like this and not even know that its happening)eg

with their body
with the sex
performance anxiety
with you (yes, even though your married)
nervous about the penetration
it may have only hurt once and the anticipation of it hurting again makes the internal walls tense up.

this can cause real pain, usually it starts off ok and starts hurting about 3 mins into the actual act, after that you would pay for him to stop!

the best thing for this can be just spending time not only trying to turn your wife on, but also trying to make her relax and feel safe and comfortable as well, and if you think it hurts her STOP, eventually she will mould to you and become much more comfortable and things will be better for both of you.

Technique is another possibility. There was one girl that I dated that loved a kind of side-to-side action during the act. Stirring the pot, so to speak. In my naivete, I figured every girl would like the same thing. Not so. The next girlfriend found pot-stirring painful, and wondered what the hell I was trying to do. She tried to tell me it was because I was too big, but that's just silly.

Reminds me of a throw-a-hot-dog-down-a-hallway moment I had in college. Intense makeout session, increasingly awesome foreplay, couldn't stand it anymore had to have it now.....then she's like, "are you in?"

As if. You coulda fit a Buick in there.

I used the test drive analogy with her, but she didn't get it. Her culture wouldn't allow it. And technique isn't the problem. I've got a lot of moves but she is very restrictive to one position. I try to back off a bit so I don't hurt her, but it's like that commercial where the boy asks the owl, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" and the owl licks it three times and then crunches it. I try to use half of it, but after awhile I can't take it anymore and start drilling for oil.

I've had a similar problem in the past with American girls, but in that case I wasn't "hurting" them so much, but I kept hitting something that would knock loose their period. I've had some girls say they weren't due for their period for another week or two but they started bleeding. I don't know if it's the shape, the length, etc. but it's been a pattern.

I think with my wife it was just that she was slightly nervous, new to sex, and eager to please, so she was tense. I've tried to get her to open up (not just physically) and relax. She just needs some practice and training.

I'm a giver. Even though it might take years of practice, I'm willing to do what it takes to help her train to be the chef in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom I've always wanted. ;)

LOL @ "throw-a-hot-dog-down-a-hallway moment"

That reminds me of my first time having sex. I was 17 and she was 15 but she had been around the block...hell she had been around the town. I swear I almost tripped and fell into it.

"I've had some girls say they weren't due for their period for another week or two but they started bleeding. I don't know if it's the shape, the length, etc. but it's been a pattern."

Well,you must be really big:)

I don't think so. I think I'm about average. I'm certainly not porn star material.

Well,if girls started bleeding after sex, that means you ARE big:) Or they were virgin:)

Or they lied ... avoidance without bruising the sensitive male ego.

I don't think so. Women can find another reason to avoide the sex
without bruising the sensitive male ego.:)

Even more,some women don't tell they have a pain untill it's too painful.

RE: Tongue fu
 

Lore sums it up nicely for me.

I've heard this in various forms for years, but the Kinsey Institute report on Sexual Behavior in the Human Female disagrees. According to the Kinsey Institute, during masturbation women do not take longer ( ~2 minutes) than men do to reach climax. The difference is that A) men are sufficiently aroused to climax by the time that they start having sex and B) women are more easily distracted during sex.

Wasn't Kinsey in some of their conclusions due to bad data, though? I seem to remember hearing their conclusion on average length of the male member was most likely too high, but no one is willing to do that kind of study anymore, so it can't be disproven.

I did a brief check on Google, and didn't find anything on that. On the contray, I found this on Wikipedia:
and this somewhere else.
Anyway, I feel that I have learned a lot from the portion of that book that I have read so far.

As an extension of my previous post, one thing that the Kinsey Report mentions occasionally is that women are not psychologically stimulated nearly so easily as men are.

Apparently several 'moral conservative religious' groups have made it their goal to refute the data in the Kinsey reports.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is funny in the context?:confused:

this wasn't bad either:

I have to ask, out of morbid curiosity what the hell you did? What do you say to that?

That's good advice (speaking from experience here). The biggest problem is it becomes circular - she gets tense about it and can't stay in the mood, as soon as it comes time she gets tense, literally. Defusing that is bloody hard a takes time and patience.

re:hotdog/hallway.

I don't really remember what I said. I think we both kind of had a moment of blinding clarity that was kind of embarrassing for both of us. Sometimes you're just physically incompatible, and there's nothing wrong with either of you. But we stayed friends, and still had the occasional fling -- just no actual intercourse.

in my opinion i think foreplay is great. It gets ya in the mood ya know?

I guess everyone is different...but when me and my bf umm...yea...well we like to foreplay a lil bit....it spices things up :D

Good move, never race with a cold motor.
:)

EXACTALLY!! You NEVER want to race with a cold motor...hehe

Where's the fun when u do that?? :)