Can men and women be just friends?
 

hey guys im doing research on whether men and women can be friends without attraction getting in the the way. so if your over 18, heterosexual and have a friend of the opposite sex could you pleaseeeee do my online survey. hopefully we can finally get some answers!

thanks

http://www.media.swin.edu.au/surveyo...37222228079097

you're doing psych @ swinbourne? I looked at that course (ex MHS/Melbourne boy here), how are you finding it?

Also you might want to take a look into ladder theory.

Opening three threads on the same topic at the same time is a no-no.

just noticed that, we're happy to let you advertise your little survey here but please, be courteous and keep it two one thread.

Re: Can men and women be just friends?
 

What if we're over 18, heterosexual, and looking for a friend of the opposite sex? Will your survey help us? :angel:

women can be friends with men. They might even WANT to bang the guy friend, but in order to preserve the friendship, they won't do it.

men cannot. they may ACT like they're just a friend, but in the back of their mind, they're looking for the opportunity to bang her.

true story

What??? Are you serious with this shit?

You didn't have to marry him, did you?

not really. maybe a little.

i've had female freinds that i didnt want to bang.

men's good sense is often overridden by physical attraction, though. If the female friend is attractive, the guy will fantasize about her. If she looks like one of your guy friends, he wont.

we're soul mates, wolf.


no...really, we are.

i recognized it the first time i saw her

i just realized the irony of that coming up in this thread.

the first time i saw shelby, i was at a party at a female friend's (gina from my tour thread)house. I was working on trying to bang that friend at the time. she walked in, and i thought to my self, " self, i wonder what SHE'd be like to date?"

we started hanging out at the same parties ......both dating other people, but after a while, we wound up together.

we both took different dates to her prom, but hung out together the whole time.

it was destiny, i tells ya

What??? Are you serious with this shit?

Don't worry Jinx , ladys are crasy once a month for a week or so , guys are just slightly bent ALL the time .
And Jimbo seems to be more twisted than most :rolleyes:

Well, yeah, I gotta give him the soulmate thing.... we were "married" a long time before we tied the knot.

He's goes to work with a bunch of men and does all this unauthorized thinking though, and gets himself in trouble...

So your position is that you cannot have sexual fantasies about a friend?

no.

you just can't act on them.


who have you been fantasizing about?!?!

Me.:p

oh, yeah...well...i knew that already.


but, who could blame her? i mean, you ARE witty, wise, and wealthy. the 3 w's.

good thing you're so fucking old, or you might be able to make a run at her!

Besides being too old to run, methinks Ms Jinx has a case of the smittens with LJ.:D

thanks for diverting Lj there bruce ,



Ok Jinx we are safe now !!!!

Phew!!

::trying really hard to fantasize about zippy::...






::not succeeding - possibly due to the monkey/pigtails picture::

Ok....so LJ and Jinx are together? *makes mental note* Did I spy somewhere that LJ's mom was one of you cellarites too?
Just so I knows it:)
I have tried getting a few of my dearones to come join me down the Cellar but they all look at me wierd....

I think its entirely possible for a friendship to exist between a man and a woman and it not be a sexual relationship.....That said I think its human nature for the question "what if....?" to float across one's mind even if the person you are ruminating on is not your type.....even if that person is the opposite of atttractive to you, the thought might pop into your mind for a second before being dismissed....

When my ex and I first split i wondered if it would alter my friendship with a mutual friend we met as a couple. It didnt seem to make much of a difference.

What does tend to get in the way of an entirely platonic relationship is having the question "can men and women ever really be friends without sex being involved?" float through your mind whilst talking to your platonic friend......Ever since I watched the movie When Harry Met Sally I have had that there in the back of my head. Having talked to a few guys about it over the years and been assured that men always have sex in the mix.....I have tried to put it out of mind.....Certainly I hadnt recently given it much thought....so like thanks for dropping that seed of paranoia back into my head :P

If you have sex before you're friends it seems to work, gets that out of the way.

yes. jinx is my life prisoner.

no. my mom is not on here. Katkeeper is someone's mom. And Elspode is sycamore's father. Wolf is Bruce's little sister, and Hot Pastrami and Brigliadore are siamese twins. Perth is married to case, who is Dagney's cousin. Troubleshooter and LadySycamore are married, and Undertoad is OnyxCougar's GodFather. Griff and Pete are married....yeah, Pete. Zat clear it up for you?

i feel left you :P

Its OK, Jag, you can be my kid brother.:D

If you grow up with and are close to a sibling of the opposite sex, you tend to have friends of the opposite sex. It is pretty simple, really.

*utterly confused* yes thanks LJ that clears it all up thanks :P

Katkeeper I would tend to agree with you. I have always had close male friends. Usually I would say I get along best with men. Probably this is due to the fact I was and am very very close to my big Bro:)

Dana, the actual reality...

--Sycamore: is with LadySyc, is not the son of Elspode
--Jimbo: is married to Jinx
--Kat: is the mother of Undertoad
--Dagney: is married to BrianR
--Brigliadore: is married to hot_pastrami
--Wolf: is with Slang
--Perth: is married to Case
--Griff: is married to Pete
--Troubleshooter: is married to Lady Sidhe

I think that's everyone...

I had more female friends than male friends growing up...that's b/c I'm so freakin' cool, it's pathetic.

But not for long.

are you kidding, perth?

You know, you had me going there for a second on that one. It would explain sooooooo many things.:eek:

:-D

There are several people here from whom I was separated at birth.

However, if I am truly Bruce's little sister, then some of my thoughts are illegal in most states, socially acceptable in others (mostly southern and mountainous).

Nope. Case and I are getting divorced.

Which means that here in the next few days I'll be sending Jinx a new address for the CMEP. :)

Fuck...

No...FUCK!

Sorry to hear about that.

Which, now that I think about it, makes for an interesting sub-question. Can a man and a woman formerly married to each other be friends?

I really hope the answer is yes. I haven't felt like it's possible over the past couple of days. That feeling is mostly my own doing, but it seems I don't have a lot of control over my own attitude lately.

:blush:

Eh, shit happens, right? I'll start a new thread asking advice for the both of us, so as not to derail this thread. :)

uh, Syc...close but no cigar. Dagney and I are not yet legally wed.

We're technically common-law partners, and we intend to tie the knot as soon as I get a few things taken care of. I'm working on it hon! I promise! :)

Brian

[quote]Originally posted by jinx
[b]



does all this unauthorized thinking though


Unauthorized thinking? Jinx is either a jester or Big Brother.

anyway!
 

Perth, sorry to hear it, long ass story.. (the condesed version) but an old fiance (we almost got married 3 times and lived together for about 7 years) and I are still very very close friends, it took a while to get there.. but once we both let go of the pettty b*ullsh*t and remembered that we liked each otther as people in the first place.. all was well and good. (heh, I even catered her wedding)

as to the overall topic.
I think Men and Women can be just friends, I have know some female friends upwards of 17 years, and yes. at some point there was some physical attraction, but all told we realized that we'd be better off friends.. and still are to this day (although one of them has hit on me on a number of occasions.. usually alcohol related)

I'll try to find the link to the study on initial attraction and lasting frendships.. I read it a few years ago and it really answered some questions about brain chemistry, emotions and the strength of friendships that follow. (one study found that you make your closest relationship/emotional ties during (and around) puberty.. which would bear out the chemistry angle)..

I'll see if I can find that study.. I've run out of time right now

Yeah, like how Bruce has managed to clear out just in advance of the butterfly net gang so many times in a row. :)