Alcoholism
 

I realize this isn't a great topic for the party bunch, But it does seem to be screwing up my life.
I worked hard and played hard all my life. Now that I'm unable to work, it seems like I just drink beer all day. I can’t spell all the big words I'd like to use.
I'm almost Ready to check in the va and see if they can break this cycle.
I'm not hunting for the word that's between the two S's.
My health is going to hell in a hand basket, and I don't seem to care.
Anyway does anyone else have a problem?

I'm an alcoholic, Buster, now sober about 355 days a year. I've managed to go from something like two cases of beer and a half gallon of whiskey per week to a bit less than that per year over the past eight years. I drank pretty much every other day for about 25 years, give or take a few months.

It hasn't been (still isn't) easy. Sometimes chemical relaxation is the only answer even now. However, I've learned to ask better questions than I used to, and then work on the answers without ethanol being involved. It is a highly worthwhile pursuit to get yourself in a better place, and I recommend it without hesitation.

If you think you have a problem, you have a problem. Go see your friends at the VA if you need to. I had the advantage of a supportive spouse, a lot of friends, and a real nasty stubborn streak to get 'er done, so I managed to evade formal treatment, AA or any of that crap. YMMV.

You do what you need to do to deal with it. Let us know how it goes. Let us know if you wanna talk.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this, but at least you are aware of the dangers you could be headed for. I hear the va rehabilitation facilities can be really good, in the right places. I would at least look into getting involved in the community AA meetings in your area. They are in every town, as far as I know. I have heard they also can be a great support system for those who have problems with alcohol and for those who have family members who are alcoholic. I am no expert, of course, but you may find some good friends this way who can give you hope for yourself. If you feel like drinking beer is affecting your ability to function as you normally do, I would definitely look into some kind of treatment.

Again, congratulations for recognizing this at what seems to be an early point. You may be able to avoid more serious problems (in regards to mental, physical and emotional health.)

Wow--is this ever timely for me. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict--going on 25 years myself. My last drink (so far) was Monday (all day) because on Tuesday I had to go for my arraignment for felony theft of drugs (from work) and I really "needed" it. Going to court is no fun, but going hung-over is even MORE no fun. I've been "dry" since tuesday but I was really, REALLY thinking of drinking today. Until you brought this up. Thank you.

I am going to lose my license, my career (such as it was going) and face time in prison. I am sad to say that it was it has taken to wake me up to my addictions. I was/am (?) and every-other day sort of drinker (pint and 1/2 of Absolut qod) and took all the percocets, vic ES, demerol, MSo4, benzo's I could lay my hands on. I never copped on the street---I don't know how, and I've tried!--I always, ALWAYS took from work. I stole from the pharmacy machine that dispenses drugs---one for the patient and two for me.

I know this will really make some Cellarites mad, but I'm just going to hit "post quick reply" and let it go. If you want to hate me for it, hate me.

But, again, busterb, thanks for showing some uncommon courage.

You're expressing some major courage here yourself, Bri. Good luck. I'm sad for you, but I don't hate you for what you've done. I think you're probably doing enough of that for yourself.

What a heavy thread. I wish I had some helpful advice I could give you both, but I have no insights on this one.

Buster, it sounds like you are ready to seek some help. That's great. Seriously. You should do it.

I don't hate you Brianna. In fact, I really hope things go as well as they possibly can for you from here. It must be really scary waiting to find out exactly what is going to happen next. Hang in there.

thank you, wolf and glatt. a lot.

I don't do advice, really. People don't follow advice. They do a lot better when it comes to making their own decisions based on choices, informed or emotional.

I might suggest, however, consideration of utlizing your available supports, finding new ones, if necessary, and seeking help if you think you need it. Checking out the help available even if you think you do not.

Nobody's really alone.

Unless you allow yourself to be.

Good luck to both of you.

One of the great advantages of AA is it gives you a whole new circle of friends. Some will be in the same place you are. Some will be just passed where you're going next. Many will be old hands that have been there/done that and have discovered how to live, love and laugh without "it"
You don't have to be in very long before the opportunity might arise where you can help a newbie and that will be as much benefit to you as to them.
I know quite a few members, anywhere from 4 months to 42 years sober.
It's a good thing....a very good thing. :thumb:

Bruce. I'll let this set over weekend. I once in AA big time. But as I said later.

Cool. :)

Good luck both Busterb and Brianna - Nice thing is you know where you can always come for non-judgemental, thoughtful, rational support. Cellarites seem to be the most compassionate group of people I've witnessed. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help when you need it - you'd be amazed at how generous true friends can be in situations like these.

o contraire.

i think you're hot now.

Tip of the hat and a nod of respect to both busterb and brianna.

I don't have any experience wrestling a demon of that magnitude so I am limited to shouting encouragement from the cheap seats whatever it might be worth. Good luck to you both - I have seen others conquer this and what you have in common with them is the willingness and, frankly, the balls to speak plainly and openly about it.

Round one goes to busterb and brianna. The once invincible demon is on the ropes - startled at the taste of his own blood.

We also set records for outright savagery.

When necessary.

Mend the baby bird's wing and patiently nurse him back to health.........so we can take him to the pigeon shoot. ;)

One could be harshly judgemental against addicts but the longer one lives, the longer one sees that life can be pretty brutal at times and we're all just looking for a way through it and it's the minority who manage to make a really good go at it.

In some ways if you haven't made a glorious mess of life you aren't really living.

The same mental/emotional abuse that turned my ex-sister-in-law into a total drunk, turned my ex into a total control nut who appears to have it all together but in reality is trying to find the right pharmacological combination to get through obsessive-compulsiveness.

Let us support our own like family. Everyone who fights this particular demon, just put up the best life you can given the circumstances. It's all that we all do and all that's expected of us.

Bri and Buster - I wish you both a lot of luck. Recognizing and admitting the problem is a big first step, and you can make changes in your life. My ex-husband and ex-sister-in-law are living proof of that. It did take 13 DUI's and 5 times in rehab, but my ex has been sober and clean for over a month now - doesn't sound very long, but it is the very first time I've ever heard him say that he really finally feels ready for a sober life. After years of struggling, my ex sister-in-law has been sober and clean over two years. AA is a big help to most people. And the VA was a big help to my Dad. You cannot get help if you don't seek it out. Go do it, and best of luck!

Yes, much prayer and good luck vibes your way. grab the monkey by the throat and throw the sumbitch off your back for good.

Well tomorrow it off to the see the wizard at the VA who holds the key to my drinking. If I live past that I'll give "ya" an update.
Thanks from the bottom of my redneck heart for alll the kind words & support from folks that don't know me. Thanks Ya'll

I haven't posted in a few months and had no intention of doing so, but....

I just wanted to say good luck to ya, Brianna & Buster. I'll be sending lots of good thoughts and good karma your way.

Take care of yourselves, and remember it's onward and upward from here! :thumbsup:

(Bri, a PM is on it's way!)

good luck.. I tried the AA thing once, it wasn't for me, but I have seen it do wonders for people, I stick with the moderation thing now with occasional benders.. then again, I've forced myself to quit quite a few things in the past.. but the best of luck to the both of you.

I'm proud of you, buster. :coffee: :donut: :cheese: :spam1: :corn:

No one quits unless they want to. So, if you want to, you'll quit.

I wish both of you the surge of inspiration you need.

I guess I'll go first. The clerk of courts is out to get me. I was given a paper with the time and date of my "scheduling conference" two weeks ago and the paper read THURSDAY, MAY 9 (um, no...that'd be a MONDAY) at 9:30 with Judge So and So. I show up this morning and guess what?! Judge So and So is ON VACATION this week--they FORGOT to tell me!!! They've misspelled my last name on every document even though I have corrected them and they've just now given me the name of my lawyer. I'm going to be writing to my Clerk of Courts to suggest he hire myself to straighten out the mess. I didn't even recieve my summons because they misspelled my name and only knew to go because the OSBON called me the day before to say they noticed I was going to court! If you don't show up for your arraignment they slap a bench warrent on you. Jeesh!

I spoke with my lawyer and we go NEXT monday for the scheduling conference. He says he's pretty certain I'll get probation for 1-2 years. We'll see.

Now, I just wonder how Busterb's VA thing went. I hope all is looking up for you, buster.

And a sincere thank you to everyone who gave their support/words of wisdom/comfort, etc.

I've been sober 9 days!! :thumb:

Good job on the 9 days.

All *right* Bri! Keep it up, girl.

Does your lawyer see any chance of you retaining your license out of all this? Any public service/rehab/etc road to take that will allow you to do your probie and still keep your trade?

Good goin' Bri. Especially when you have to negotiate the mess that is the criminal justice system.

I seriously doubt it. Looks like it'll probably be a 2 year suspension at least. I've been looking for other work and need some full-time work pretty soon-like yesterday. I'm down to 50.00 and that's IT! If you don't hear from me in the future it's because the computer's been cut, along with the phone and TV. Oh, well. I did this to myself. I'm not hoping for a miracle, I'm depending on them, every day. I need a break from nursing anyway-get my feet back on the ground. I found my work brutal in the last couple years---really hard on me. I HAVE to believe there is a future out there for me. If I don't believe that, I get so depressed...I have to have hope.

You can still check in from time to time from a library. It's free!

I remember the good ole' days when you could just walk up to an unused computer in the library and browse away. But now you need a library card. And to get one, you need proof of identity. Then, you have to log in with your library card number which conveniently connects each user to his/her browsing history. Which, I'm sure, is stored and scanned.

Follow the smell to the homeless crazy guy. Once you have established that he is indeed the homeless crazy guy and not some academic sleeping in the library on a lunchbreak, offer him $20 for his library card.

Hell, Wolf. Where's your sense of adventure? I say roll the guy in the History aisle and TAKE it! :)

Brian

busterb, check in. How many hours/days were you able to string together booze-free. If you fell off the wagon, get back on the fucker. It stops and waits for you, you know.

Good luck busterb. Just remember you are worth the effort. I guy I heard talking about careers advice to a group of students just recently, gave some very good advice. He said, "You're all better than you think you are" I would say that holds true for most of us, youself included :)

Brianna, sounds like you've been having a really horrid time lately, you have my total sympathy. Judging by some of my own acquaintances who work in various parts of the NHS, drug and alcohol problems seem to be something of an occupational hazard. Good luck getting yourself back on an even keel. You've got a lot of people wishing you well *smiles*

Well I made 6 days. I have to say I haven't really tried. Monday is the day to put my ass in gear and stop procrastinating. Which has killed more drunks than anything. :smack:

Keep grinding fella. Have you made any changes in your daily habits?

That's good, Buster. :biggrin:
Here is something that may amuse you.

Well my daily habits have been busy this week. Planting my garden. So far 50' row of LA.purple pod beans, 22 mater plants, 6 egg plants, 7 hills of cucumbers, 4 hot peppers and maybe a few okra plants. Damn I'm too old for this shit can hardly walk after crawling around in garden. Still need to mo-de-lawn. Humidity is so damn high makes breathing a bitch. Bruce the link goes to show rednecks still have uh oh well

Busterb--try any AA meetings? They're not for everyone but it does help me when I'm feeling low. I especially like lead meetings where somebody tells their story. They've usually had it worse than me and it helps to see they've made it through.

Yes need to start again. Once was the group rep. for here. I still have a set of keys for all our stuff.

You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to sit on the veranda and bark orders to the field hands, cracking the bullwhip for effect. Just pass on the mint juleps
Farming, even in miniature, is back breaking labor. Personally, I've never found that savory salad or side dish worth the pain and suffering. Communing with nature means being one with eighty eight jillion types of insects and creepy crawlers. Sure, it keeps you busy but the Bufferin bill is excessive. :biggrin:

I found this today in what will be an unnamed post. "But I'm a grown man and an Irish man at that. I know all about drinking." Yep me too. :smack:

A drunk don't stand a chance. The economics and math just kills us. You get a six pack for less than 4 bucks, a 12 pack for around 7, then a case for around 11. So the math tells you the case is a better buy. Even though you swore you were only going to have a few to feels better. Same with 1/2 pint, pint, qt and 1/2 gal. Next Am you wonder who stopped by & helped you drink all that shit? NO one. Yes I know all about drinking. I just wish the hell I didn't.

If you're willing to take the risk of dying if you fall off the wagon (or use certain brands of aftershave or mouthwash), ask your MD about Antabuse.

Wolf. Tnxs for words about my garden. the above post was made kinda tongue in cheek ;) I tried the meds before. They just give you 14 days to dream up ingenious ways to really get on a good drunk :lol: After you stop taking them.

Once again, busterb, you've hit the nail on the freakin' head.

Good stuff, busterb. The economy of scale works against us if we can't stop until it's all gone. And the words in the image above ring true.

We would do the same thing over and over, hoping for a different outcome. Now that we've changed, we can have a different outcome.

Stolen from a Chuck Logan book. "Heard a counselor decribe alcoholism as a progressive diease, implying that just because you stopped putting alcohol in your mouth, it didn't mean the condition was cured. It continued to grow inside like an invisible vampire. Take a drink after ten years, and the vampire sitting on your chest was ten years older and stronger than the last time you saw him,"

Back from the horror that is our court system. Treatment in lieu of conviction. Lots of shit to go thru but if I do it all felony will be wiped off record. Yay.

My stupid computer has a virus so at library now...standing up and trying to type that way. Keyboard sticks, too.

Hang in there, busterb. and thanks to everyone for the good wishes.

I'm happy it turned out ok for you, Brianna. Let us know how the treatment program's going.

hey, good stuff Bri, glad to hear you won't have to leave us. Let us know if you need computer help as well.

yayy for Brianna. glad to hear that things are looking up, if still difficult.

Thanks, all!

jag--nasty spyware stuff and I downloaded spyware protection from AOL (remember, I am very computer illiterate-) but seems too little, too late. All these infernal pop ups keep me from signing on because my computer freezes...I don't get anywhere. Do I have to pay 200.00 for the Geek Squad to come out?

BTW--I start IOP soon at a place called

Congratulations Brianna.
Good luck on the recovery.
Glad, as well, you're not gonna leave.

After 15 years sober, my husband started drinking again. He thinks that he is 'in a different place and state of mind' in his life. He has been sober for our entire married life. It is strange to see him drink, something I am getting used to. So far he has been able to control it/himself. We are both very level headed laid back people and sometimes I question wether he really was an 'alcoholic' at all. I mostly think he was just young, unhappy and under pressure from his father.
(His father is very controlling) It does help him relax and he is able to have more fun with our children, not be so uptight. Hopefully everything will stay on the 'strait and narrow' as it were....time will tell.

Hope all goes well for you busterb and Brianna

Hey Girlfriend, This is what you need to get rid of them nasties:

Ad-Aware
Windows 98/Me/NT/2000/XP

Free Download for personal edition. Works great.

There's no Litmus Test for Alcoholism. I believe in this part of the disease concept: once one crosses the line into Alchoholism, there is no going back, biologically. The question is whether someone has crossed the line or not.

In the AA Big Book they say "If a man can drink like a Gentleman, hat's off to him".

Through AA meetings and such, I've come to realize how many of us had very controlling and dominating same-gender parents. In my case Step 4 was a long and rewarding process of dealing with resentments rather than numbing myself to them.

"Break a Leg."

I did AA for quite some time, however I was young and my inate arrogance didn't help.. I got sick of sitting around listening to people bitch about how much they wanted to drink.. the thing is I have given up pills/Marijuana/acid etc. the thing is.. alcohol.. damn that fucker! although I have a bet with a friend (we've known eachother for about 18 years) that june 1st to july 30th no alcohol.. tell you what.. it's going to suck.. I know I'm addicted no doubt about that.. but as I said I quit everything else (hell! i'm almost off of coffee! down to 3 cups a day! for me.. that's amazing)... anyway, the thing is that we all need somehting to fall back on.. when in need the problem comes when you do things for that fall back rather than the inverse (if that makes sense) anyway, sorry I have had tyhe insomnia somthing fearsome.. so my thoughts might not flow in a sensible sort of way, I apologize... anyway! Brianna good luck, busterb good luck as well.. just take it one minute at a time if need be, yeah It's hard but.. there are some things in life worth fighting for, and I promins once you get used to it, the whole world opens up in a very different way... hang on you'll see.