The Cellar

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)
-   Politics (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   a must read for all americans (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=8938)

Kagen4o4 08-15-2005 07:57 PM

a must read for all americans
 
as an Australian i feel it is my duty to inform you of what is going on outside the Commonwealth of America

http://www.stephaniemiller.com/decla...revocation.htm

richlevy 08-15-2005 08:19 PM

Quote:

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
Roundabouts = 'traffic circles'. If there wasn't a reason to fight an invasion to the death before, this pretty much clinched it. I think they're still pissed that an American invented the traffic light.

Undertoad 08-15-2005 08:22 PM

As a denizen of the Internet, which it turns out is worldwide, it's my duty to inform you that Snopes says false.

footfootfoot 08-15-2005 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
As a denizen of the Internet, which it turns out is worldwide, it's my duty to inform you that Snopes says false.

UT, you slay me. haheehaa! gold

mricytoast 08-15-2005 08:40 PM

I was really hoping that this letter was true. Why'd you have to ruin my fantasy, Undertoad?

Undertoad 08-15-2005 08:43 PM

Oh it's true alright. Just not Cleese's.

bargalunan 08-16-2005 03:46 AM

Perhaps you already know that ?

http://www.jokes.net/twocows.htm

Cyclefrance 08-16-2005 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy
Roundabouts = 'traffic circles'. If there wasn't a reason to fight an invasion to the death before, this pretty much clinched it. I think they're still pissed that an American invented the traffic light.

You ain't seen nothing yet - we have multiple roundabouts which allow you to circulate clockwise on the outer ring and anti-clockwise on the inner one. Don't believe me? Then look here :eek:

Undertoad 08-16-2005 08:28 AM

:mg: I thought it was a photoshop, and it is not. :mg:

mrnoodle 08-16-2005 09:32 AM

they managed to clean the bloodstains and fire damage up quite nicely. or was that taken before it opened?

mricytoast 08-16-2005 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle
they managed to clean the bloodstains and fire damage up quite nicely. or was that taken before it opened?

Well, I did notice something that looked a bit like charred corpse.

I like how they named it the "Magic" Roundabout. So magic is going to keep you safe?

wolf 08-16-2005 01:17 PM

What happens if you stop believing in the roundabout halfway through?

wolf 08-16-2005 01:20 PM

Oh, and one other thing ... I do NOT want to have to meet and/or deal with the demonic force that thing has been summoning. Sunwise and widdershins travel, with road rage added for extra special flavoring ...

Ceremonial magic is not for amateurs, especially not when you're dealing with something that takes 30+ years to cast ...

Bullitt 08-16-2005 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy
Roundabouts = 'traffic circles'. If there wasn't a reason to fight an invasion to the death before, this pretty much clinched it. I think they're still pissed that an American invented the traffic light.

Nuthin beats the New Jersey "Jug-Handles".. why would anyone make left turns illegal??

mricytoast 08-16-2005 01:58 PM

Oh... Oh god. Those are such an annoyance. You can't make a left turn and if you miss your exit there's no hope of ever getting back on the right road.

Queen of the Ryche 08-16-2005 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
Oh, and one other thing ... I do NOT want to have to meet and/or deal with the demonic force that thing has been summoning. Sunwise and widdershins travel, with road rage added for extra special flavoring ...

Ceremonial magic is not for amateurs, especially not when you're dealing with something that takes 30+ years to cast ...

Especially cast in ashphalt, with officers to enforce it......... :worried:

Happy Monkey 08-16-2005 05:09 PM

Reminds me of the Illuminatus! explanation for the Pentagon...

Cyclefrance 08-16-2005 06:00 PM

Magic Roundabouts
 
They're a bit like crop circles I'm afraid - another one has turned up on London Heathrow Airport South Perimeter Road by the east exit..... on the same ley line as the Swindon Roundabout some 30 miles west, or so I am led to believe...

wolf 08-17-2005 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt
Nuthin beats the New Jersey "Jug-Handles".. why would anyone make left turns illegal??

The jughandles replaced traffic circles in some cases.

People in New Jersey are, according to people in Pennsylvania, notoriously bad drivers.

We have the jughandle thing going on in Pennsylvania also. for some intersections they are very helpful. Unfortunately PennDOT keeps adding new ones to old, perfectly good intersections, screwing them up.

Cyclefrance 08-17-2005 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
As a denizen of the Internet, which it turns out is worldwide, it's my duty to inform you that Snopes says false.

I have absolutely no problem apologising (sorry 'apologizing') for the teletubbies - please send them back as I know exactly where they may be re-sited (if I can find the inventor). Pls may we have the answer now?


Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt
Nuthin beats the New Jersey "Jug-Handles".. why would anyone make left turns illegal??

Further apologies from ignorant Brit, but only know jughandles to be just that - pls elaborate and educate...

wolf 08-17-2005 10:13 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Like this ...

You're not allowed to make your left hand turn at the intersection.

You go into the jughandle, and then turn left out of it.

This will make more sense if you remember that Americans drive on the right.

Sometimes there are extra traffic lights so you can actually turn left out of the jughandle into traffic. Sometimes there are not ... which is when jughandles become more dangerous than the old-style left turn lane and light at the intersection.

Other ones are set up so you are only making right hand turns.

You don't always know you're in a jughandle area ... the signs don't say "jughandle ahead" ... they say "all turns from right lane."

In this particular example, jughandle #1 would be for people who are turning right on the cross street ... jughandle #2 is for folks that want to make the left ... which now involves two right turns.

mrnoodle 08-17-2005 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
Like this ... tion.

You go into the jughandle, and then turn left out of it.

you'd turn left from the jughandle rather than turn right from the main street? how does that save time/congestion?

Cyclefrance 08-17-2005 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf
Like this ...

You're not allowed to make your left hand turn at the intersection.

You go into the jughandle, and then turn left out of it.

Thanks Wolf - this has left me somewhat in awe of your road research gurus. Initially it looks like a good idea but then the designers get carried away. Isn't #1 for turning left though, and #2 for turning right?

Any incidents of a double jug-handle, where say, as in #1, there is a return handle so that the motorist who mistakenly turned right when he didn't mean to has another handle to his left (placed a short way along after entering the first handle) which pemits him to return to the original highway but a little further on....... just an idea....

jinx 08-17-2005 11:23 AM

I don't mind jug handles, and actually was made fun of for years because I would pull into a parking lot and then use the light at the exit to cross over onto my moms street - making my own jug handle, and avoiding sitting at the light for 12 years in Delaware county traffic trying to make a left turn. A better option: a left turn arrow. Seems like an extra bulb on the traffic light would be cheaper and easier than all that extra pavement, but what do I know... We don't have traffic out here in Elverson, much less traffic circles.

Clodfobble 08-17-2005 11:34 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Like this, mrnoodle:

Bullitt 08-17-2005 12:04 PM

1 Attachment(s)
There's also 3 way stop jug handles which I encountered.. :rolleyes:

wolf 08-17-2005 12:18 PM

1 Attachment(s)
I see access to the jughandle somewhat differently, based on the shapes of the "exit ramps". The purpose is so only straight through traffic crosses the intersection.

BigV 08-17-2005 01:38 PM

Isn't this what you're really trying to achieve?

http://www.meetmyattorney.com/images...eafExample.jpg

Cyclefrance 08-17-2005 02:27 PM

OK so my double jug handle was a bit hard to follow, so here's a graphic (sorry it's an attachement but I haven't worked out how to import a picture yet!):

http://cellar.org/attachment.php?att...tid=6649&stc=1


there is a return handle so that the motorist who mistakenly turned right when he didn't mean to has another handle to his left (placed a short way along after entering the first handle) which pemits him to return to the original highway but a little further on.......

And another to show how the Magic Roundabout 'works'

http://cellar.org/attachment.php?att...tid=6650&stc=1

Hobbs 08-17-2005 03:20 PM

1 Attachment(s)
I have round-abouts in the neighborhood I just moved into and it's a brand new area. I don't get the idea as to why they think this is a good idea, I hate them.

This is a typical layout of one just down the street from me, and a typical negotiation of one.

1) Car 1 comes to the round-about slows but doesn't stop.
2) Car 2 comes to the round-abut slows but doesn't stop.
3) Car 1 doesn't see car to decides I...err...he doesn't want to drive all the way around and cut the wrong way.
4) Car 2 presses on, vision restricted due to folage in center of roundabout.
5) Both cars stop and glare at eachother with distain
6) Option: Postion where firey crash occurs when both cars see eachother and try to beat eachother out anyway.

Clodfobble 08-17-2005 04:44 PM

They installed "roundabouts" in a few of my neighborhood intersections too--except the damn intersection isn't big enough for a roundabout, so it basically amounts to having to swerve around a 3-foot-wide obstacle in the middle of the road.

superbaton 08-17-2005 05:43 PM

Quote:

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies)
:lol2:

Kagen4o4 08-17-2005 11:20 PM

or play AFL (Australian Rules Football or "footy")
you get knocked around pretty hard in that if youre not quick enough. its like full contact soccer and you can use your hands but the ball is oval shaped.
AFL players have also been noted to having the highest recovery rate from injuries that athletes from other sports

wolf 08-18-2005 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV
Isn't this what you're really trying to achieve?

Sort of, only not on a superhighway. Just a heavily-travelled, four lane road.

wolf 08-18-2005 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinx
... and avoiding sitting at the light for 12 years in Delaware county traffic trying to make a left turn.

I have gone significantly out of my way to avoid left hand turns, particularly in really bad traffic.

wolf 08-18-2005 12:19 AM

One of my friends lives in a neighborhood in Broomall that has traffic circles for no discernable reason.

It's a development.

It does not get a lot of pass-through traffic. Heavy traffic would be a half dozen or so cars an hour.

The traffic circles are much more fun in the dead of night when one is liquored up a bit.

Edit to add: So I've heard.

Bullitt 08-18-2005 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

headache just lookin at that.. monstrosity

Kagen4o4 08-18-2005 06:01 AM

out of all the things on that "cleese" letter i thought you guys would be talking about, i never expected bloody round abouts. i love em

Bullitt 08-18-2005 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagen4o4
out of all the things on that "cleese" letter i thought you guys would be talking about, i never expected bloody round abouts. i love em

Because the rest is true :worried:

Cyclefrance 08-18-2005 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagen4o4
out of all the things on that "cleese" letter i thought you guys would be talking about, i never expected bloody round abouts. i love em

You should always expect the unexpected - except that this may not be possible because if the unexpected is expected, it really can not then be classed as being unexpected, can it? Expect you were expecting that reply (rather than it being unexpected) :3_eyes: !

Hobbs 08-18-2005 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt
.. monstrosity

Good word.

glatt 08-18-2005 10:44 AM

Those tiny "roundabouts" in residential neighborhoods are usually put there as a traffic calming device. You have to swerve to avoid the island, and the planners hope you slow down a bit too. They are an alternative to speed bumps or humps. The snowplows have an easier time with them.

Of course, 4 way stop signs are cheaper and more effective at slowing down traffic on residential streets.

Clodfobble 08-18-2005 11:21 AM

Quote:

The snowplows have an easier time with them.
I think that's probably not an issue here... :lol:

Elspode 08-18-2005 04:13 PM

Roundabouts are infesting the KC area increasingly. They aren't so annoying in the new developments, but when they sneak them into streets you've been driving on for 30 years...well, let's just say that it is unsettling at best.

I live just South of the intersection of 3 major highways. As luck would have it, they converge in a generally triangular arrangement as seen from the air, and it is known as the "Grandview Triangle". It is a great double-entendre, though, because it wasn't really named that because of the shape...it was named that because cars go in, but they don't come out...ala the Bermuda Triangle.

It is undergoing a massive, complete reconstruction right now, and when all is complete, there will be a couple of roundabouts constructed as part of the rather more elaborate thoroughfare crossings/entrance ramp intersections (you'd sort of have to see the 3D visualizations online to understand what I mean...in fact, *I* even have to go back and look at them to get it).

I dearly hope it is better when complete. It would be difficult for it to be worse.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:29 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.