The Generic Support Group Thread
 

I don't start many threads on The Cellar. Mostly, it is because I don't have so much to say that I can't figure a way to append it to an existing thread. However, after much pondering of a recent thread courtesy of Brianna (found here), I decided that Cellar Dwellars needed a place where they could share their foibles, problems and existential disasters with each other, and possibly receive some sympathy, suggestions or other support for same. I have placed it under "Health", because, after all...isn't it our Mental Health that we need to bolster when we are sharing with others?

In other areas of The Cellar, we often find that those who aren't fat, depressed, unemployed, alcoholic, psychotic, parents of crazy children or otherwise afflicted with the less joyous attributes of this wacky thing we call Life, can be a bit put off by our whining about our woes. With "The Generic Support Group Thread", this is all solved. Those with whine-sensitive sensibilities can avoid this thread and thus save us from being told that we suck when we have something to say about the shit sandwich we are currently eating, without us having to pretend that it tastes like yummy jam and peanut butter. Those who have need of the odd "helping hand" can find safe haven here, and those who don't can continue to project the outcome of the next presidential election.

So...here it is. Piss and Moan Central. Let 'er rip! I'll even start us out:

Beginning last week, my right wrist started hurting like a bitch for no apparent reason. I'm not positive, but I think my chiropractor may have caused it during an adjustment. Now, the current work week is so busy that I have had no chance to get back to his office, and it still hurts. What worries me is that I already have arthritis, and what if this is just a new arthritis-hurty place? Why would it start so suddenly, with no previous symptoms? Has anyone else experienced this?

I think this is a great idea, Patrick! Bitch and moan central - anyone who doesn't want to read "whiney" posts be forewarned and stay away!

I could have put all my "ax murderer" posts in this thread!

Anyhow, I'm sorry to hear about your wrist. Its spooky to start having pain like that for no real apparent reason. Is it possible that you are experiencing some sort of carpel tunnel thing due to all your years of playing guitar? This happened to the ax murderer who ended up all but quitting playing, as a result.

Hope the pain goes away soon and you figure out what caused it. :confused:

I'd buy that. My mother took me to a chiropractor religiously as a child/adolescent, as long as I can remember really, and she always told me it was to help my pretty much constant sciatica and back pain. A couple weeks after I finally refused to go anymore, all the pain went away and it has never come back.

I've got tendinitis/bursitis in my left shoulder. Had an MRI and it turned out not to be a rotator cuff tear. I'm very slowly regaining some range of motion using heat then ice and lots of ibuprofen then more ice... Still hurts like hell and have difficulty sleeping :( . I'm contemplating a cortisone injection(s) but am still on the fence about it.

I had some sort of shoulder inflamation/injury, and I had a shot of cortisone with lidocaine. It really didn't hurt much to have it done, and it basically cured my problem. I'd do it again.

I have pains in my joints of my hands (wrist and fingers). It originally started when I was taking typing classes on high school on these small Apple keyboards. The pain can also be in my arms. I've had this pain for years. I've never seen a doctor about it. Normally when the pain gets severe enough I stop doing for a while what I was doing (typing, using a mouse). Stretching exercises with my hands help (sometimes).

Oh yeah, me too. I have utterly severe and chronic tendonitis in my right forearm, and for the last three months or so it has increased to a constant soreness in my shoulder. When I keep my wrist and forearm in one position for a long time, it cramps up. I blame bad mouse position. Never have your mouse in such a position that you have to reach out for it.

Being a frequent computer user as well as a lifelong guitarist undoubtedly complicates my hand numbness/pain/stiffness, but the chiropractic really has helped ease it quite a lot. When I miss my weekly visit, my hands are much worse than they would be otherwise after I've been adjusted.

The problem apparently originates primarily in my lower neck/upper back, and is due to some nerve compression and/or damage. I had a nerve conduction study done a few weeks ago that confirmed this diagnosis. I almost certainly have additional complicating factors such as carpal tunnelling and tendonitis.

My arthritis is under control finally, with hardly any swelling and very few days where I wake up with a joint not working.

But I'm having bouts of depression. This isn't one of the listed side effects of the medicine, but I can't help but wonder. We're talking several consecutive days of not giving a shit -- not doing anything constructive at work, having to take sominex to sleep at night, loss of appetite, feelings of hopelessness. You know the drill. It'll go away after 3 weeks or so, then return.

I'm able to disconnect from it logically so that I recognize it for what it is, so you won't be reading about my suicide. But I need to go to the doctor and see what's up. wolf, you've seen alot of this, diagnose me.

What kind of arthritis and which medicine, MN?

I. Hate. My. Job.

I have had menial jobs before; this isn't one of them. It isn't tedious, nor is it under-paying. Instead, the main problem is that I find myself seething with frustration and anger every single day. This is a desk job where the entire set of expectations put upon me is unreasonable. I am currently running 16 different (tiny) projects. My deadlines are usually less than a week after I receive my materials. The company is chronically staffed at about half of what it needs, and it is my job to "find" a programmer to do the tasks necessary to complete the project. Nevermind that I don't understand the tasks myself, and I am forced to simply present random people with archived code and say "Do you know what to do with this information?" When everyone is inevitably booked for the entire week, I am blamed for not scheduling them 3 weeks ago, before I had ever heard of the project. Then I have to hand the task off to an outsourcing company in fucking Argentina, and ride their asses every couple of hours to make sure that they didn't mistranslate "I need this by 5:00 PM my time zone" as "Eh, get around to it sometime next week, whenever."

One of the reasons we are chronically understaffed is I am not the only one who understands how much this company sucks, and our turnover is ridiculously high. I have been there one year, and there are only 5 people with seniority over me--all executives. (The only reason I made it this long is I've only been doing this shit-work for the last couple of months; prior to that I was merely an audio contractor, and was blissfully unaware of the general workings of the company. But I foolishly thought, "Hey, extra money, sure, I'll take on a few unrelated tasks in my spare time...") In fact, a programmer just quit today. She had been here for a grand total of a week. They made her a counter-offer, and she laughed in their faces and told them she was already taking a pay cut to get the hell out.

But I am essentially trapped, because I am pregnant. When the baby is born, I hope to stay home for an indeterminate number of months/years. I can't just go get another job, because no one will hire me with the understanding that I will be leaving in 6 months. (And no, I won't lie to them. That's the sort of bullshit stunt that gets women hired less often and at less pay than men, and I won't contribute to the problem.) BUT, I can't afford to just stop working entirely right now because I need to save up a buffer for after the baby's born. We can almost live on my husband's salary, but not quite. I could quit working in the shithole and just do temp work from now until then, but it is very hard to tell the practical side of me that it's worth it to get paid 2/5ths what the shit-company is paying me (like I said, they pay me very well. Because they're desperate to keep me.) I figure my only real option is to just suck it up for the next 6 months, and then take my permanent maternity leave and never look back.

So that's my whine-fest. I know everyone hates their job, but I really can't stand mine.

Sounds like you're right ... whether it's from the medication you've been given, or your own reactions to the chronic pain (which can be depression or depressive like).

Tell the dude with the script pad.

I betcha nobody threw shit at you today. And you probably get to take a lunch.

See, somebody's job is always worse.

P.S. Try this book.

The stress is not good for you or the baby. On the bright side there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and you can see it.
Chill out...if you can meet the deadlines with what they give you, great. If you can't, fuck it, you tried.
If they don't like it, what are they going to do, fire you? Then nothing will get done at all, so I don't think so.
Replace you? Sounds like that's not likely.
Bitch? Tell them why you couldn't do it.
Do the best you can but don't jeopordize the health of you and yours. :thumb:

Alas, no. Most of the time I end up having ramen out of the vending machine because I inevitably want to sleep later rather than pack a lunch. Either way, I'm expected to walk around the office carrying my food while I work. But it's true, I have never had bodily substances of any kind on me at work.

That's the one thing I keep telling myself, and it usually works to relax me. I just have to get over that fundamental desire to always overachieve. :)

Please take care of yourself Clod!! Ditto Bruce's advice, and try your best to eat well. That will help both you and your baby cope with the stress. There are tons of brands of frozen dinners that not only taste good but are good for you (Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, Weight Watchers etc.). Don't have a freezer at work? No matter, I regularly forget about mine in my bag till lunch, and they are perfectly fine. In fact they heat faster when they are partially thawed :) Buy some aromatherapy oil and put some on a cotton ball and stick it in your drawer. When you start to feel overwhelmed, stop, open your drawer and take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down and focus on what's really important... High stress can lead to lots of little complications during pregnancy that might add up to big ones.

Good luck!

Clod - document the heck out of everything for a week. Then put it to your superiors as a cost cutting suggestion. It does cost more to use the outsource people than in-house, right? If that doesn't result in a change, just do your best but don't fret over it if stuff doesn't get done.

Nah, because they're in Argentina. We pay them something like US$7 an hour. Now, if you start comparing how long it takes them to do something versus someone in-house, you might have an argument, but each project is so different it's hard to compare them.

The company's so small, I only have two superiors, and they're both pretty equally responsible for putting us in the situations we're in. But it did get slightly better today: a new programmer was hired who genuinely knows how to use the application he's supposed to be programming in, and they gave him exclusively to me for the first two weeks. Already this afternoon he solved in an hour what the completely unqualified "programmers" couldn't solve in a week and a half.

Just out of curiosity, is there a support group for people who are addicted to support groups? And is not showing up for a meeting a good or bad sign?

Are you Marla Singer or Jack? :lol:

Stewart Smalley could, no doubt,l address this question.

PS--I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, dogGONE IT! PEOPLE LIKE ME!

That's pretty much my mantra.

hehe! Fight Club :lol2:

Its funny how some people will make a support group their entire life. I know people who have gone to AA for 10 or 20 years, for example, and refuse to have anything to do with peope not in the support group. Their entire lives revolve around the meetings. Its sort of wierd. :3_eyes:

But it works.

AA doesn't work for some people. It doesn't work for me. I TRY to make nice and friendly and I end up with someone who comes over for coffee and steals stuff while I'm adding the cream and sugar; OR, someone who is really just interested in Early Recovery Sex (which is, paradoxically, the best AND the worst sex ever.)

I have forsaken AA. Forsooth. I have found my local groups to be judgemental, sick and oh-so self-righteous. I actually hate them. The idea of going makes me want a thousand drinks.

Speaking of all this therapy stuff, anyone been watching Breaking Bonaduce? I am unfortunately addicted to this attentionwhorefest. That guy has got ISSUES, man. His wife's nearly as bad, but she's not the one mugging for the camera.

I have stated before that I do not watch (un)reality television, so no, I have not wasted either time or neurons on this "program."

I don't watch A&E's Intervention, either, but at least the commercials for that look somewhat interesting. I've often wondered what happens in one of those things ... we don't do 'em, try 'em, instruct people on 'em, or whatever.

I have occasionally talked to people that were setting one up, and the only advice I ever give is "well, those things have a likelihood of going downhill very quickly. No, we won't have anything to do with one. You can try the D&A place up the road, though. My only advice is make sure you have the number for 911 handy."

Since this is the support thread...

I have begun losing weight. In the past month I've changed my diet from eating fast food 3-4 times a week (or more) and eating on the run to eating portioned, easy-to-cook frozen meals and recently sandwiches. I haven't weighed myself but I've noticed something: I'm able to get a full notch more tighter in my belt comfortably. My pants are also looser in the legs and butt.

I've cut out soda in-take from 4-6 Dr. 12-oz Peppers a day to maybe 1 a week along with 1 Sprite a week. Instead I drink water at work and at home (I have a cheap plastic cup I re-use at work, we have an ice maker in the fridge of the break room). I now eat a lot of bread, pasta, and rice (Uncle Ben's rice bowls, Marie Callender's meals, and PBJ/various deli-meat sandwiches). My meals seem much more balanced too as I'm finding I'm eating vegetables I never used to: carrots, peas, green beans.

I feel better in general and I've noticed ... well, there's no easy way to put this: much cleaner #2's. I don't exercise at all (I have a desk job at a tech support company). I know I'll have to start exercising eventually but for now I'm happy with myself. It's also cheaper too! I save gas when I don't go out for lunch (I drive a 12 mph gas-guzzler car), save money (I can buy 2 meals for the same price as eating out, and the 24-pack a week of soda I used to go through saves me enough to buy 2 meals), and I save time (instead of going out when I'm hungry when I'm at work or home, I make a frozen dinner or make a sandwich). I still eat out every now and then but I want to eventually cut it out completely except for special occasions.

Awesome! It's especially nice that you are seeing results.

Good work Laebedahs! It my constant challenge, too.
cutting out the pop is a great habit to form. I really dont miss it at all. Just a real coke every now and then as a treat, when it really goes with the food, like once a month with a pizza or something.
Pretzels not chips.
Pick snacks or candy with nuts.
Also, alway eat breakfast, even if you dont feel like it. have a bowl of oat/bran cereal or a banana or a yogurt. It gets your burn going.

Try to park in the far spot, take the stairs, before you know it, you're taking that lunch commute and turning it into a short walk. Clears your head and reenergizes you. Listen to some tunes while you walk, man, to get you movin and groovin.

If you dont mind broccoli or peas, take a bag of frozen veg with you to work and add it to the top of your frozen dinner. What's really good are the tuna cassarole (peas) or alfredo (broc) ww smart ones. The Lean cuisine turkey/stuffing/sweetpotato is great too. There is always more sauce than real stuff in those. That way you get full, satisfied and a great veggie boost to boot.

Lately, I'm really liking Amy's Indian frozen dinners. more $, but big yum factor.

Keep making shifts! and keep getting stronger. Cool!

I have gotten woefully out of shape in the last 5 years. Not having a physically demanding job, combined with the RA and a liking for potato chips and sodie water, has added a good 25 pounds. It's nothing but fat, too. I have twiglike arms and legs, and a beer gut that forbids tucked-in shirts. I'm quite mesmerizing when nekkid.

I need to work out desperately, but when I tried to do pushups the other day, I could only do 2. Two. Not so long ago, it was 100 a day, with 100 crunches. Now, it would take me 12 hours to get 100 pushups done, and I'd be bedridden the next day. Ding! I've identified a possible cause of the intermittent depression -- the knowledge that it will take a good 6 months of hard work to get even halfway in shape. Gah. I hate working out.

Seize the day, laebedahs. While your motivation is up, take full advantage of it -- I'm trying to regain the mindset that you have now, and it's a big leap. I know that once I can make a habit of living healthier, it won't seem so bad. But damned if I can take that first step.

Oo. There's leftover halloween candy on the table by the coffee machine at work. brb.

bit by bit, choice by choice, the littlest things add up.

This mindset is out of necessity. Since my wife has moved out I've had to really cut back on the wants and concentrate on the needs; the frozen dinners/cold sandwiches provide a good balance for that.

Not sure of the best place to put this, so thought I'd stick it here, as it deals with frustration & work problems.

The kitchen at work is driving me crazy.

The office cleaners clean the surfaces, mop the floor & empty the bins every morning. Everything else is up to us. We do have some visitors to the building, but anyone entering has to be signed in (there is patient-specific information here)so they aren't exactly roaming about unaccompanied.

So why does the kitchen get into such a state?

Someone has a habit of leaving mugs with the detritus of Cup-A-Soup on the edge of the sink, filled with soapy water. This is presumably "leaving it to soak", but the mug will stay there for days. Other people subsequently decide it’s a repository for dirty teaspoons. I eventually get hacked off & wash them all up – in the mean time people resort to using plastic forks to make tea/ coffee because there is no clean cutlery.

Other people leave their dirty teaspoons on the clean draining board. How can that possibly be justified in a communal kitchen?

I admit I am frothing at the mouth about this, but its just NOT RIGHT. I can't think how to address it without threatening to install CCTV.

Below is the picture & text of a notice I have suggested the Head of HR puts up in the kitchen. Its far more polite than my feelings.

RECOGNISE ANYTHING?

We are all responsible for the state of the kitchen.

- Every time you do not wash up a spoon, a knife, a fork, a mug.
- Every time you leave bits of your lunch in the sink.
- Every time you use a piece of paper towel & don't throw it in the bin.
- Every time you leave a dirty spoon on a clean draining board.

You Are Asking Your Colleagues To Clean Up After You.

The cleaning staff DO NOT do our washing up

Please show some consideration. We are only asking that you do what you would do at home.

Wow. That's disgusting.

The sign is a good first step.

I think you make a huge mistake when you clean up after anyone else. You are teaching them to leave their mess. If it were me, I would bring my own mug/bowl/cutlery and keep it at my own desk. Wash when done, and put it in my own desk drawer. Clean up any mess you make in the kitchen. Let the pigs figure out what to do with their own mess.

I have it good at work. I was interrupted unloading the dishwasher at work by someone whose office is right next door, she came in and said "Oh, sorry, I thought you were Mike." I said, "Did you mistake the sound of the dishwasher being emptied as your cue that Mike was here?" She said "Yes." Mike is the president of the company. Needless to say, if he's doing it, the example is set that no one is too "important" to "stoop" to doing it. You understand what I mean. We're like a family here, and we all have to work together to make it work. I'm proud to be a part of this organization.

But I have worked in places where this was not the prevailing mindset. Your lower threshold for this funky clutter is a disadvantage for you, certainly. I disagree with glatt's suggestion that cleaning up after others is a mistake. I would add this small modification to your ritual. You could publish this on your sign, if you like.

Clean as much and as often as you feel you need to. But dry the dishes in the garbage can. This problem will disappear sooner or later.

In my office it's a weekly rotating responsibility. The list of names and dates is posted right over the sink, so if it gets even a little dirty, everyone can complain loudly to that person. And that way, even the slobs who don't care if it's dirty yell at other people when they slack off just because they got yelled at when it was their week.

And even better, I'm a contractor so I'm not in the rotation. :)

I'm feeling a lot calmer about it today (I was out of the office yesterday afternoon on training). Thank you for not smacking me with the fact it's a minor thing to get so worked up about.

Perhaps making the sign & having my rant will enable me to ignore the state next time I walk in there. I do use my own crockery/ cutlery that I keep in my desk (and subsequently feel like a student in a shared house using my own toilet paper). I think more than anything its the frustration that other people just can't see how easy it would be to have a spotless kitchen. And how much more pleasant.

Maybe I'll start bringing a flask.

Here in America, we have plastic and styrofoam.

I'll use plasticware, but I won't drink hot liquids out of a styrofoam cup. I have my own mug. It is probably classifiable as a biohazard. I rinse it out occasionally. I only drink coffee out of it, and I think that the hot liquid kills the germs.

I think.

Artwork from my mug:

I agree with Clodfobble. Most offices - actually libraries - that I've worked in had the rotating cleaning system. If it was your week to do the staff kitchen, you made sure it was spotless before you went home each evening or else. The nasty looks from your co-workers and the person coming up to you with a martyred look on their face to inform you that they'd cleaned up since you had forgotten were enough to keep everyone in line about their KP duties. The list of whose turn it was hung in a prominent spot in the break room. You might suggest something like that, Sundae Girl.

Our place has -- or had, I don't go up there much -- a sign in the kitchen that simply read "Your mother doesn't work here. Clean up your own mess, please."

We have a pretty clean breakroom, don't know if it's the sign or not.

Damn you people who have things like breaks and special rooms to go to for them.

We have a small area in the office where the Shrine to the Goddess Caffeina is located, along with a small refrigerator and very micro microwave. There is no sink. We have to use the bathroom sink for things like washing the mugs, and since we're having to constantly wash our hands, nothing gets left in the sink.

One of the midnight guys is obsessive compulsive and loves the smell of Formula 409. He is in charge of policing the coffee area, wiping up spills and suchlike, and is the only person in the office who become frustrated enough by the frost buildup in the fridge to do anything about it. Even then, it does often get left until things reach the point where you can't close the fridge door anymore.

We will all die of massive mold infections if he ever retires.

:lol:

Um, yeah, stacey. #1) that's not "fat", #2) you're not bald, and #3) if you don't feel better pretty soon, maybe you should go see a doctor.

Have you or are you now, trying any nicotine replacement of any kind? Gum, patches, lollipops.....could help maybe.
And other advice I recall is changing your routine (and by that I DO NOT mean stop showering and brushing your teeth!), but whatever would be different for you. Taking walks.....and.....well, you know....

Ditto what Brianna said about the fat and bald thing. Earth to Stacey - hello?

As far as the poopy puppy, here's a magic trick that never fails. Its called crate training. You can go to Wally World and buy a pet crate for under $40.00. Keep your pup in the crate at night and when you have to leave the house or are busy doing something that requires your attention elsewhere. As soon as you wake up, get home, whatever, take the puppy out of the crate and put him out doors. When he poops in the great out of doors, praise him lavishly, bring him back in, play with him, spend some quality time with him. Give him a meal, then put him outdoors again as soon as he finishes eating, since puppies often need to go as soon as they eat. Praise his efforts, then back in the crate. Don't keep him in the crate for vast stretches of time, other than at night. Dogs have a natural instinct not to soil their dens and the pup will consider the crate a den and do his best to hold back calls of nature. After a few days of this, he will automatically associate being outside with pooping and being inside with not pooping. I house trained my last dog in 3 days using this technique. It works!

How cruel! Putting the poor puppy in a box. Someone call the puppy patrol. :lol:

Damn! And I was hoping that one would slip by. Better get ready to call the humane society on me next month when my own pup arrives, Busterb, cuz she's gonna get crate trained just like the dog before her did! ;)

Crate training is de rigueur among the doggie set because it's the expedient way to success.
They feed their children Ritalin for the same reason. :neutral:

Ooooh, does that mean I should give my pup ritalin, too, if she's too hyper? :lol:

Stacey, if you don't like the crate route, try newspaper training. Yes, pooopy-puppy will need to pee and poo after waking and after meals, so spread some newspaper in a corner and put him there when he wakes and after every meal. Praise and play with him when he performs in the right place as per marichiko's advice. Clean up the newspaper (easier than the carpet), as soon as it's dirty, and put more down. Once he's learned that's what it's for, move it nearer to the door, and then outside.
Or simply take him outside at these times - this'll give you something to do instead of missing the ciggies. Basically, you can predict (near enough) when a pup needs to go - and you seem to be at home enough to take him out when necessary. Eventually he'll get the message and ask to go out ...
And I believe chemical dependence on nicotine is gone after 24 hours without - the rest is habit and psychological (no less hard to deal with, though).
Best of luck.

Sorry! :cool:

Words like stressed and sad and depressed describe how you are feeling. You didn't get this way just by quitting smoking.

Go to a psychiatrist.

psssst, Wolf! You just gave her advise! :worried:

My mom had the same problem with her treadmill, until she did an interesting thing: She rearranged her room so that the computer was on a bookshelf, at standing eye height. Then she put the treadmill facing the bookcase. So whenever she's surfing or checking her email, she walks. It's not like she has an exercise routine and uses the computer to entertain her while she does it--she just forces herself to walk every time she wants to use the computer, even for 2 or 3 minutes. She says it's worked really well for her.

Actually, I gave her advice.

C.

A-D-V-I-C-E

Buy a fucking dictionary.

(does that make you more comfortable or at least reassured that I didn't leave my computer logged in at work and someone else posted under my name?)

LOL! That's my Wolfie! Actually, I have a dictionary, but recently, my system crashed and I had to reformat my hard drive, and I haven't gotten around to reloading the dictionary disk.

Besides, I'd miss your sardonic corrections of my atrocious spelling. ;)

Christ, people actually still pay for dictionaries? I thought that's what the internet was for...

Seriously, no one should ever have to pay for porn or reference material ever again.

Actually, my heart's desire is the Oxford English Dictionary - a truly monumental tribute to the English language. The print copy is something like like 22 volumes, almost a volume per letter of the alphabet. The cost of subscribing to it on the Internet is far beyond my pocket, but not my fantasies. :love:

OMG, it's $295 a year for a stupid dictionary. WTF???