The Cellar - World according to USA

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World according to USA

This is a joke. Laugh.

Heh. Very funny indeed!

I kinda like this one better, though... the world after the Canadian conquest... (from those funny folks at Canadian World Domination:

http://www.standonguard.com/images/eventualmap.gif

Quote:

Canada sux my big hairy AMERICAN dick U.S.A rules all canadians are drunk retared bastards they all should be killed and canadian music sux MetallicA rules bite me i hope u die

the hate mail on this site is precious :)

Quote:

This one goes out to all those delusional, socialist, frostbitten pieces of trash who actually believe that Canada can dominate anything let alone the world. First of let me start by quoting the most electrifying man in sports entertainment by saying, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. You are the biggest and I do mean biggest pieces of socialist trash that it has eeever been by extreme displeasure of
hearing of. Canada cannot even dominate Quebec let alone the world. Let me list the reasons why:

1. the Montreal Expos

2. the heterosexually challenged Mounties

3. socialism

4. you are not American (or British which runs a close second)

5. your hockey teams either suck or desire to become American

6. Dan Akroyd is Canadian

7. Canada is simply a suburb of North Dakota

8. your chief exports are frosty precipitation, bad maple syrup, and ridiculous accents

9. "aboot" is not a word, nor shall it ever be one

10. your Maple Leaf flag is the most ridiculous national symbol known to man

So in conclusion let me say, that Canada will never, eeever come close to winning another Stanley Cup let alone dominating the world.
Your hero and role model,
the Showstoppa

:rolleyes:

hey do we actually say ABOOT????? or do people simply watch too much south park.

for anyone's information, we pronounce "about" like a fight.. as in "a bout" (like boxing, rhymes with the british pronounciation of "route" or "shout"). do americans say "abutt" or something similar then?

As most hate mail is :)

I think my favorite part out of that one, if I have to pick, is "retared"... :) That mail certainly looks like it was written by a "drunk retared" person :)

As for the whole "aboot" thing - it's just a geographical accent. Some Americans probably say "about" differently. I personally pronounce it as you said - "a bout", like a fight, rhymes with "a shout" :) I do have Canadian friends that say "aboot" though. It's certainly exxagerated in South Park and the like. I noticed it a lot in Toronto, and it was one of the things I did to blend in - picked up some of the accent. It was funny, because I actually convinced a store clerk that Vanessa was American and I was Canadian when, of course, the opposite is true. But I did it with good usage of the word "aboot" and saying that Vanessa was "from the States" instead of "an American". :) There are subtle differences in the way we talk, but they're there. :)

Heh. If I'm so smiley, it's because I like Toronto a whole lot, and thinking about it makes me smiley :)

shall we measure the standard smiley per sentance ratio? ;)

maybe i don't notice it cuz i don't know any hick canadians. actually thats a scary thought for a globalized city boi like myself - HICKS! ahhhhhh run

more great hatemail.. this guy likes insult generators probably:

Quote:

warlock105@go.com

My Thoughts towards people in canada with the half asses opinion that they are going to rule the world.... You swine. You vulgar little maggot. What is that tripe you call your opinions? What is that scrofulous little tumor you call a brain? Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth, you wad of pus. You're a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a goat then be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention, every damn one of you smell? You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You're grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. I have excreted better things than you. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you.You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. I would rather bathe with Hitler than speak to you. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends to character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you!

When I see canada I always think of this: http://www.adcritic.com/content/edge-102-i-am-not.html

You Canadian people are not brave enough to fight for your own independence.... How the hell are you going to fight us?

BRB Going out to burn the Canadian flag, cya in a few...
The man from United States, Tennessee Ace

http://www.html-faq.com/faq.php?key=flame

This insult goes a long ways back. It's always been fun to read, but it transforms from place to place. I'm not sure that anyone (except the creator) knows exactly what the original version was - I have been unable to locate it. However, it certainly is entertaining. :)

[Edit - Oooh! Original source! http://www.guymacon.com/insult.txt ]

Can you say Finland? ;) (as in "Finlandized")

Guess this is Bob Costas's map

Because some of that "Jungle" section should be "Mountain"... Costas was amazed that there would be Chileans in skiing competitions..

I really thought good old Jim McKay was going to get sucked into the vacuum created by Bob and Katie. The man barely got out alive, scarey. I had always believed Costas and Couric were the same person, although now that I think about it, as bad as the banter was... maybe they are.