Things I Learned at Beer Appreciation Night
 

So, a friens and I spent the evening last night at “Beer Appreciation Night” at BJ’s Brewhouse in Woodland Hills. For those of you not from the West Coast, BJ’s is an upscale micro-brewery, where they make premium and distinctive beers on-site. Beer appreciation night works a little something like this: they pick a topic (last night was Belgian beer), they bring in an expert, the expert brings in a lot of beer, they pour the beer, we drink the beer, the expert talks about the beer. Let me sum up for you what I learned last night:

1) Don’t order a shot of bourbon to start - there’s plenty of beer coming.

2) In Belgium, the boy scouts go door to door selling ale as a fundraiser instead of cookies.

3) Belgium may be voting soon to split into two countries, Flanders and Wallonia. (I wanted to ask the speaker if they intentionally chose their new names based on Simpsons characters, but I was waved off by the aforementioned buddy.)

4) If you hire a brilliant brewmaster, and put him in charge of your brewery, you have to let him use the brewery to make side-projects, even if, when you serve them at Beer Appreciation night, there is a collective gasp of horror at the prominent sherry/apple/buffalo-chilli flavor in the beer, because, well, he’s the same guy who brewed the 4 amazing beers that followed, one of which of which got a standing ovation.

5) In Belgium, they serve beer in school cafeterias. It’s cool though, ‘cuz it’s only like 2% alcohol.

6) If you’re planning your own Beer Appreciation night, go from light-and-sweet to dark to light-and-sour. It’s a good arc.

7) Do not taunt the drunk racist guy in the corner. Seriously. He’s bigger than you, and he learned to fight in Montana. Against, like, moose. Or whatever.

8) Two kinds of people come to beer appreciation night - the kind who bring a pencil, and the kind who don’t. Everybody makes fun of the pencil-bringers, until the end of the night, when they’re the only ones who remember if it was the Guflertzengrumtlar that tasted like angel tears dipped in honey, or the Gahzterumflarfner. Turns out the Guflertzengrumtlar tastes like skunk-farts.

9) There is such a thing as bad beer.

10) The piss-tasting American beers (The words of the brew-master, not me!) taste that way because they were trying to make a German pilsner, but substituted corn for grain because it’s cheaper. Thanks, Budweiser. Proud to be an American.

11) This is not a sipping event - we drank 17 beers in 2 hours. You have to bring your “A” game, and by “A” game, I mean you have to sit on your can and drink beer, in a hurry. Good thing I have been training.

12) Hops cure cancer. Drink up, you chain smokers!

13) It is always a good idea to go listen to someone who is knowledgable and passionate about a topic. There is something infectious about it, in a good way. As we were sitting there, listening to the Belgian expert talk about his love for the 5,000 year old craft of brewing, and about how the temperature of the yeast affects the growth of the bacteria, and how certain flavors have calendars to when they emerge in the beer, I realized that he talks about beer in the same way that I would sit around and talk about a vocal mic selection, or the way my buddy Rosy talks about how to time a snare flam in a funk groove. He loves making beer. Which work out well, because, as it turns out, I love drinking it.

You and your buddy were using public transportation, right?:eek3:

I should have mentioned that the 17 beers were all 3 oz tasters, not pints.

I need an event like this.

Great essay, sm. Cheers!

Nice, amusing, and budweiser is made mostly from rice, rolling rock is from corn.

A+

budweiser is made mostly from rice

The cans here in Arkansas Used to say " made with Fine ARKANSAS Rice "
But no more :(

Not a fan of American Pilsners, even most of our micro stuff.
But, have had the occasional decent brew. Blue Moon surprised me for a hot day drink.
I prefer a stout though, most of the time. Hard to find a good one in Central Florida. In Tally, we used to have a place that made beer and decent muffins... they had a few decent ones. The Mill I think they called it.
I guess it is hard to find good beer in Fl that has body because of the temp.
Sounds like you had a good time, I'm happy for you.

Unfortunately, Blue Moon is a product of the same evil empire that brings you Coors Light! They can make good beer but choose not to. People must want crap because they buy it. I'm with you on the stout, I'd like to see a nice local one develop. I've been mostly off beer though because it screws with my digestion.

Excellent summation. There are several places around here that brew their own, I'll have to ask if they do anything like this. I am not much of a beer drinker but my favorites are #1 Leinies Berry Weiss; #2 Blue Moon (extra oranges please); #3 Leinies Honey Weiss. Leinenkugel beer is from Wisconsin. I will drink Michelob Amber Bock if the others aren't available and I'm craving beer. Dammit, it's 9:29am and now I want a Berry Weiss.

I'm surprised there's not one around here... there are enough microbreweries.

Our local ABC carried Watleys for a while and then just stopped. I don't know why. Ticked me off.
The Guinness they sell here is nasty compared to what I got in NY. I can't figure it out. When I was in LA there was an Aussie cream stout that came in a big bottle from Trader Joe's with a Kangaroo on it that was awesome, I miss it.

They say that Guinness doesn't travel well ...

Guiness has changed its recipe for americans. That's my latest conspiracy theory. 1st, they put those goofy clip art characters on the bottle reminiscent of terry gilliam, then they urge you to chill for at least three hours?
3rd, when you pour it in a glass the friggin light shines right through. My frigging tea is darker than that shit.

Murphy's, Beamish, (which is no longer being imported so my beer store tells me) are both good stouts, then htere is the double chocolate, that's crescent fresh.

I also was told that weiss beers were originally meatn to be drank witha splash of fruit syrup in the bottom of the glass.

Since it is strawberry time, get a pint of berries, mash em up good, (you can blend them) drop em in a sauce pan, add a bit of sugar, and cook on a low heat so you don't burn them. keep stirring. When it has bubbled for a while, five or ten minutes, pull off the flame and let cool. strain. put the lumpy bits on your yogurt. use the syrup for pancakes or your weiss beer.

twenty minutes of prep and half an hour to cool (or pop in the freezer)

BEVVIES!!!

I never had Beamish here or Guinness there, but when I drank Beamish in Ireland it was wonderful stuff, sweeter than Stateside Guinness.