The utterly pointless Chuck Norris thread
 

I want one...

here goes


Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
Chuck Norris can ejaculate through walls.




post yours.

I believe I heard that

Chuck Norris's urine cures cancer.

Kevlar vests are made from the expoliated body hair of Chuck Norris.

Norris produces enough hair for 300 vests each day and donates them all to law enforcement.

The only thing strong enough to cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris so he must scrape off the hair with his own fingernails.

If Chuck Norris ever dies NASA has obtained the rights to use him as a re-entry vehicle.

When Chuck Norris takes a bath, he just jumps into a tub full of ice cubes (otherwise the water evaporates before he can get wet).

Mr. Norris (you guys calling him Chuck are in for some reckoning) is so quick he can turn off the light and be in bed before the room gets dark.

When Mr. Norris needs a chuckle, he reminds himself that he and he alone knows the last digit of Pi but won't tell anyone what it is.

The Borg tried to assimilate Mr. Norris...

They FAILED.

Mr. Norris does not have a birthday.

Once, Chu-.. er, MR. Norris was having one of those standoff things with this uber bad dude with long hair and tall and big and mean and bad and evil and wearing leather who just hurt someone that Mr. Norris cared for where they show Mr. Norris' icy stare then the other guy's icy stare then back and forth showing icy stares as the tension mounts THEN, all the sudden, Mr. Norris CLAPPED his hands together real fast in front of the bad dude's face and his eyeballs just exploded then his whole head exploded.

Yep. Saw the whole thing. In person.

On TV.

But it wasn't a like a rerun or anything.

Oh, and Hippikos, Mr. Norris knows you started this thread. :worried:

When Chuck Norris farts, the world supply of natural gas doubles.

Mr. Norris is responsible for global climate change.

Chuck Norris is a cheap renewable energy source

Chuck Norris is the shadow government that Flint is always talking about

Chuck Norris can get in the last word in an argument with MaggieL