Dumb things the spew from your mouth
 

I'm having a really bad bimbo run lately and I want you guys to make me feel better about some of the dumb things I have/do say....


Todays little gem....

"That just fat in there!!"

In response to my boss shoving $4500 cash down my cleavage and commenting that it was the most money that had been down there...."tis not, I've had more in there"..."b/s, you couldnt fit more than a $50 in there"....

:blush:

Hmmmm...

Oh c'mon, I know you have some little gems in there somewhere.

Yes, like the fact that I reminded my boss it's Friday the 13th today and ten minutes later she fell down the stairs and got taken off by an ambulance?

Told my roommate that all this green tea I've been drinking is making my piss really yellow and smelly right as a tour of high schoolers were walking by the open door of my dorm room. Got some funny looks

For that jack, I would fit it in mine.
I said "smell my finger" to my wife yesterday. She would not. She is a chicken-shit.

I do it all the time, i have foot in mouth disease, my excuse is that i was born blonde, till i realise that i'm saying it to a blonde & have offended them!

Umm.....ducks......why is your boss shoving money down your cleavage? in my experience most bosses use a payroll.

Here's one for you.

When I was a little kid of about 6 or 7 I got into mum's make up while mum and dad were having a dinner party. I was so proud of myself when I was done that I decided to parade myself in front of the grown ups.

Of course there was polite giggling etc and then Dad told me to go wash my face and go to bed.

I was so mortified that I retorted with, "What's wrong with kids committing adultery?"

Payrolls are only for girls w/o cleavage.

Damn! I always suspected as much!

Pics?

:thankyou: in advance... :D

8th grade, 0 hour (an hour of class before regular classes [yes, I was still a fool for school then]): I was using my toes to lift the desk of the girl in front of me. She was leaning forward so hardly any of her weight was in the chair. At one point she put her weight over the back of the chair, and when I tried to lift again it was hard. I said, "Wow, heavy!", she said, "are you calling me fat?", and I was too mortified about having possibly been taken as having said something that mean that I couldn't say a thing. No apology. No denial. No compliment. To this day I feel bad about it. I think, and hope, she was joking.

What's funny is the girl was probably the most athletic girl in the school. Slender, blond and gorgeous.

My mother-in-law, a teacher, has a picture of her two oldest grandkids (my two stepkids) on her desk at school. She was telling me with utter jubilation about how a fellow teacher had commented on what a strong resemblance the kids had to my husband.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Psh, yeah, she was just being polite."

It's important to note that I was being completely honest, and my husband agrees with me on this--the kids are half-Asian and they don't look a thing like him, at all. Not even in more subtle ways like face-shape or whatever. But trust me, you don't want to go telling a grandmother that her grandkids have no family resemblance. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't forgiven me for it.