Billion Year Contract? Where do i sign?
 

L Ron Hubbard created within Scientology a group of elite - the Sea Org. And he had his most dedicated wingnuts that wanted to join the Sea Org sign a billion year contract pledging themselves to the cause.

As for me, I'll sign up for pizza at least once every month for a billion years. (though now somehow I get this sinking feeling even this might be hard after a few million slices)

Don't let my frivolous commitment make light of the question, do you have a cause or commitment (serious or frivolous) that you would willingly sign up to for a billion years?

For a billion years? Not particularly. But since scientists theorize our sun will have gone nova by then, guess I'm not too concerned. The pizza idea's a good one, though.

Several ways to go with this one, I'll let everyone else decide.

A) Scientology is a dangerous cult. There I've said it and I have not been arrested. (Yet.)

B) I would sign any contract for that length of time, because a contract that's unenforceable is not valid, therefore no risk.

C) I am already biologically programmed for my "mission": to ensure the survival of human DNA by encouraging sustainable reproduction of it.* I am happy to sign a long contract wherein I encourage the best such conditions, as is possible within my reach.

* I do not personally have to reproduce for my mission to be successful. My mission is to reproduce human DNA, not my own personal DNA, something I have probably failed to do. That said, history shows that there was at least one evil dictator who demanded that he personally deflower all virgins of his nation, once they came of age. Although I'm not an evil dictator, I do believe that humanity would be served well if I provided half the DNA for it. That's ego for ya.

P.S. I know what you're thinking, and no! the lolita tail would actually be a burden, as my preferences don't go that way. At all. But I'm willing to take several hundred thousand for the team.

I would sign a billion-year contract saying that I will do my very best to cause or help facilitate the greatest amount of happiness (inasmuch as anything as subjective as happiness can be measured) to the greatest number of people with the least amount of suffering.

I don't know. Is there beer?

Sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them.
Desires are inexhaustible, I vow to put an end to them.
The Dharmas are boundless, I vow to master them.
The Buddha way is unattainable, I vow to attain it.

(for as long as it takes)

There is no "I" [self] only an illusion ;)

If there is no self then who is perceiving the illusion?

The unenlightened...:)

I will love my parents for a billion years, or until I die - whichever is sooner.
I wish I had a non family member I could love with this certainty.

I would sign a billion year contract that reads:

Cicero will recieve one million dollars a month for the next billion years (adjusted for inflation), to begin Mon. September 29, 2008, and posthumously the money will go to her husband, or closest kin. The money will come from the richest scumbag politician of Cicero's choosing, and the money is to be in the most valuable currency of that current month.

The Bodhisattva vow. Yeah, I'd sign on to that for a billion years, give or take. ;)

Me too!
Just with some amendments. After all this is the 21st century.

Sentient beings are numberless, I will be nice to as many as I can, except the ones which I encourage my cat to chase and eat, and the ones I want to eat myself.
Desires are inexhaustible, I will exhaust myself trying to attain them until I am too exhausted for desire and then look back on it all with a smile when I am a dry old stick
The Dharmas are boundless, so I'll probably read the new Stephen King instead
The Buddha way is unattainable, so I'll just talk about karma when I really mean I want nice things to happen to me and nasty things to happen to people I don't like

(for as long as it takes)

Had?? Oh no, this idiocy continues to this day. Oh by the way, you belong to the SO once you sign this contract...body, mind and soul, through every one of your incarnations. You will work for as many hours a day as they tell you to (often 12-15 or more), and they usually do not pay you, even though they may promise to do so, in order to get you to sign on the dotted line. You will not question, you will not be involved in anything or with anyone outside of the SO, you will not have children (off to the abortion clinic with you if you dare to or accidentally get pregnant), and you will studiously indoctrinate yourself into the teachings of LRH. If you need to be 'corrected' because you've questioned what you're told or broken one of thousands of conflicting rules, you are sent off to the RPF (a boot camp of sorts, where you are forced into hard labor and under 24/7 guard). If you still don't "break" to their will, then you'll end up in another even more horrific place called the RPF's RPF, which is much like concentration camp conditions). You may stay there for years, until you 'prove' you're sufficiently rehabilitated.

If you already have kids when you sign up, they have to sign up too. You and your spouse and children may be shipped anywhere around the world, separately. If you complain, see above in regards to the RPF.

More information is here if you're interested.

Every day on the way to and from work, I drive past two complexes which house SO members. They have high metal fences around them, with locked gates. There are security cameras everywhere. There are no cars (not allowed), only buses picking up the members for their next shift. No real school for the kids....they work. Often filthy, demeaning, nasty jobs like scrubbing sewer spills or 'chicken picking' (hand cleaning carpets instead of vacuuming).

Yup, they're saving the world, all right.