The Cellar Tupperware Party
 

Cicero arrives first to Shawnee's Cellar Tupperware party. She brings with her Vienna sausages in a port wine sauce, and a bottle of the best Merlot Walmart could provide.

"Who is coming?" she asks excitedly. Shawnee replies that she invited everyone, just everyone, and that she hopes for a good showing; the 900 piece container set just came out in mauve, and it will be hers with sales of only forty thousand dollars.

As the cream cheese/dried beef roll-ups bake at 350, the doorbell rings. It's LJ and jinx. Lj is drunk and waving wads of cash in the air "Where is the jello mold and the cake cozy? I'm here, and I intend to buy." Jinx pushes him through the door and lj falls onto the couch. "Ahhhh" lj sighs, "Where's the remote?"

SG peeks her head into the room. "Is this the right house?" she inquires.

It was then we knew the party had just begun...

just then, Brianna rudely pushes her way thru the front door.

"Where's SG?!" she demands.
"That randy wench just fellated MY xobruce!!"

Shawnee points out that the 12 ounce covered mixing bowl is a perfect receptacle for things one would rather expel than ingest.

lj farts in his sleep. but don;t worry.....there's no flavor.

Shawnee's cat sniffs curiously around lj's ass. The cat seems to be thinking "mmmmm, chicken."

The doorbell rings, and footfootfoot comes ininin, bearing gifts of beerbeerbeer and chipschipschips.

wolf won't show up for the actual party, but will put in a good-sized catalog order because she needs more Spongebob Squarepants sandwich holders, a butter dish, one of those Mickey Mouse Popsicle Makers, a serving center set, one of those corn butterer gadgets, a cereal keeper, and maybe some of the tall, thin storage containers, and the cake decorator set.

I despise the "parties" themselves because they tend to be a thinly veiled attempt at forcing other people to "host" one of these "parties."

Anybody having a Pampered Chef any time soon?

What about a Tastefully Simple (one of my patient's ex-daughter-in-law does that stuff, so I can't see anyone in anything near my region, since she's fairly high up in the pyramid?)

Sundae meanwhile is cowering in the kitchen, her fear of confrontation running too high even to apologise to Brianna.

However her highly active guilt gland soon makes her poke her nose out in order to check if anyone needs a drink, because she's been taking swigs of the Baileys she brought with her to calm herself down, and is worried she'll have to start on the baby oil next - she packed for the wrong party.

Still, at least she'll blow a lot of money of stuff she doesn't need, to make up for Bri blowing up over her blowing Bruce. So Shawnee wins anyway. Sundae makes a note to ask Big V for the number of his dentist.

"Hello, is this the zoo? This is BigV. May I have the walrus exhibit please? Thanks. Yeah, you won't believe the number and variety of buckets I'm looking at here. You'd better hurry, they're going fast."

koo-koo-kachoo

Limey, not knowing much about these events, has turned up bearing all of her tupperware, much of which has gone a tasteful shade of orange in the service of preserving bolognaise sauce. And a bottle of Arran whisky ...

You are the walrus?!

Nah, that's Jim Carrey.

lol! I have great taste!! ;) Mmmm...don't forget that I brought the container of deviled ham. Oh and salmon meat-loaf. Kimichi on the side.

Riiight, so I will be sure you aren't looking when I throw my plate away...wait, you don't throw Tupperware away. CRAP! What to do...

Oh, and be sure to try my green jello surprise.

I notice you came empty handed....;)