Declarations for the good of mankind
 

I declare that cheese is now a vegetable.

That's gotta make everyone's food pyramid thingie better, right?

I also declare that Halloween is a proper holiday -figure skating classes should not be held on the 31st. Swim Practices aren't, how special are you? Besides, you don't hold classes at Christmas, and more people round here celebrate H than C........

I declare that driving 10 MPH under the speed limit is an offense punishable by beating from the person behind you in the car.

The thing about the food pyramid - I only eat from the top of it.

Because the top of a pyramid is still a pyramid.

But the bottom of a pyramid is a trapezoid.

And eating from the food trapezoid just can't be good for you.

:notworthy

I'm convinced.

I declare that after the presidential election is decided there will be a moratorium on any discussions concerning politics for a period of 45 days in The Cellar.

That's not gonna happen Merc

yea, but, but, I declared it! WTF? I declared it. So it shall be. :D

How about this one? I'm in a 35 doing 30.... because there is a cop in front of me doing 30. I'm getting tailgated & honked by somebody behind me. I wish there hadn't been so many cars parked on the side, or I'd've pulled over and let the guy behind me ride the cops tailpipe.

I'd still beat you. It would be your duty to beat the cop. and since it's only 5mph below, i might let you off with a 'throw your keys in the bushes' instead of an actual beat down.

I declare that, since fuel prices are declining rapidly, all the stuff that got more expensive and blamed it on fuel prices will now decrease in price accordingly.

ch'yeah. good one.

I declare that single mothers freshly out of abusive relationships (or single fathers in the same boat), with the child on their hip, should get free rent for up to six months until they have time to start a new life for them and their child.

Hmmm, do they need a black eye or a broken limb to prove abuse?

No, I'm all for supporting and helping people getting out of abusive relationships: there is very little more difficult to go through.

I just don't see your solution as viable: after 6 months you yank them back out? Psych: shoulda got a job while you were still reeling from your abuse, dealing with your decision, and hiding from the person who, if they find you, may very well kill you and you children?

this is declarations. abuse is down the hall. 3rd door on your left.

Where are "silly walks", I think I've stumbled into the complaint department.