Thinking about fury and perspective
 

I think I made a connection last night. When my Dad thinks about abortion he gets furious. The thought of all those lives taken just gets to him. He is incapable of empathy towards the women involved. He cannot see their perspective. I wonder if it is the same dynamic in the after-math of 9/11. Everything else becomes less important, the enemy cannot have a point of view. Anyone who sees nuances is suspect.

They just need to smoke some ganja.

Slightly OT, but of a similar bent - I've finally realised since moving back here that my Dad is seriously homophobic. I knew he had those leanings, but not to the extent I've discovered, because of course I've not spent this long with them in years and shied away from hot topics even when I did.

He is also pro-death penalty, slightly racist and believes a load of old shit he reads in his right wing paper (which they buy because the only left wing papers are either tabloid rubbish or too high brow for them).

I still love him of course. But I am saddened by his views.

Agreed. Zealotry is no match for the herb.

Good for him.

It's interesting what you learn about your parents when you live with them as an adult.

When I was living with my mum with the kids, I recall a conversation between a friend and I about gay partners adopting babies. Mum was there and she was adamantly against it. When I asked why, she said it was because kids need both male and female influence, so I asked her what the difference was between two lesbian women raising kids and the situation we were in with me and Mum being the major influences on my kids. She fluffed about and said how it was different, but I think she kind of got my point. After that she moved on to a different point of view.

I was surprised to learn how conservative my Mum was in that regard when in other situations she was very liberal. Anyway, I'm glad I was grown up enough not to allow her views to tarnish the sincere admiration I held for her.

I had just about the same conversation with my Mom back when I was 16. I guess she had never really questioned her assumptions about gays, human rights, or what a marriage "ought" to be. She came round pretty quickly, and has been a strong supporter of gay rights ever since.
:thumb:

I used to think my dad was homophobic, because while he was indifferent to "what other people do in their own bedrooms," he did insist that it was a fact that the vast majority of gay male relationships were not monogamous, and he could not respect that aspect of it. I argued furiously with him about this as a teenager, that he was buying into propaganda and anti-gay rhetoric.

And then I went to college and met a huge variety of gay men, keeping in touch with them over the years and being introduced to even more gay men through them... and found out he was actually right after all. I feel bad now, for being so sure my father was a hoodwinked fool.

See - father knows best.

Well, except he refuses to acknowledge how tall I am or what color my eyes are--but yeah, other than that. :)

I think Dad's argue over stupid shit like that so you won't even bother arguing with them over stuff that's actually debatable. I quit arguing with my dad when I was 13.

It was a joke -
Father Knows Best

my dad's homophobic in the 'i dont wanna talk about them or acknowledge their existence... but i'm friends with a bunch of them and think its perfectly okay for them to do what they do and have human rights. just dont make me talk about them.' way. i think its the military-ness... dont ask dont tell and all that jazz.

eta: and my mom is not homophobic at all, except for the whole, i dont want my kid to be one way. oh, and she doesnt believe in bisexuality. go figure.

I remember having an argument with my Dad during the first Gulf War. I think there had been some school or something had been hit by shell fire, and I was my usual anti-war self. I'd made some comment about killing children and Dad said something on the lines of "They'd just grow up to be adult Iraqis".

To be fair to him he has mellowed somewhat over the years. He went off and read a bunch of stuff about Iraq's history and gained a different perspective. But Dad loses all sense of proportion where Moslems are concerned. He is very islamophobic. Comes from being raised in India I think. His sympathies were always with the Hindus, and he saw some appalling things before they left India as the violence began to escalate.

He's also quite homophobic...but I think he's closet gay himself, so that might be why.

Finally, a rational explanation for zealots making weed illegal.