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-   -   Things That Made Dad Cool (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=19684)

DanaC 03-03-2009 07:31 AM

Things That Made Dad Cool
 
I was trying to find some verse to put on the funeral paper thingy...I went on some sites. Was going to try and find something by Kipling or some such (the Indian connection). I also looked at mermorial verses.

I couldn't find anything. So I decided to write my own. This is first draft. I am thinking of playing with the verse order (possibly will reverse 4 and 5). But anyway. I'm pleased with it.


Things that made Dad cool
He was There,
Quietly, never effusively
But always

He played a mean Harmonica,
Soulfully
Like a poet in the wilderness

He knew the value of Beauty
In a garden
In the dance of a bee

He was a Fixer
Of broken
And forgotten things

He knew Stuff
The genus of a flower
The workings of a radio

He was our Dad
And the coolest man
I know.

monster 03-03-2009 08:04 AM

it's perfect. And it will be if you change the order too. :)

Sundae 03-03-2009 09:18 AM

Dana I didn't know your Dad had died.
I'm so sorry.

And I think the poem is wonderful.

Shawnee123 03-03-2009 10:29 AM

Dana, that is beautiful. It is perfect for the funeral paper thingy (that's what I would have called it, too.) :)

dar512 03-03-2009 10:34 AM

Very nice. Makes me wish I had known him.

lumberjim 03-03-2009 02:36 PM

Dana, forgive me if this is inappropriate or presumptuous:

Things that made Dad cool

He was always there.
But Quietly,
never effusively

Soulfully,
He played a mean Harmonica,
Like a poet in the wilderness

In the garden,
He knew the value of Beauty,
In the dance of a bee

Of broken and forgotten things,
He was a Fixer.
He knew Stuff,
like the genus of a flower,
and the workings of a radio

He was our Dad
And the coolest man
I know.


:: cries and cries ::

DanaC 03-03-2009 03:22 PM

*smiles* not at all presumptious Lj.

I like the reworking (apart from the in the garden bit, the garden was another example of beauty). I like the change in rhythm.

classicman 03-03-2009 04:08 PM

Wonderful Dana - You did him proud!

TheMercenary 03-04-2009 07:56 AM

Beautiful. It must have been an honor for him to have you as his daughter.

Sheldonrs 03-04-2009 09:10 AM

He sounds like he was a great man with a great daughter.


I'd like to write a poem about my father but there are very few words that rhyme with dickhead.

xoxoxoBruce 03-04-2009 11:53 AM

Just the way it is, Dana. :thumb2:

You can't change the past.
You couldn't change him.
You shouldn't change you.
You must change the future.

DanaC 03-04-2009 12:59 PM

*smiles* thanks all:)

Mum and Mart both really liked the poem. So it's staying in its original form for the funeral. I may play with it at some later stage.


And yeah :) he was a great man. Stubborn, eccentric, brilliant and contradictory. :P

kerosene 03-04-2009 03:36 PM

That is so beautiful, Dani. It made me think of my own dad.

Queen of the Ryche 03-18-2009 01:15 PM

LOVE IT. Reads a lot like the eulogy I gave for my dad a couple of years ago. Think they're ready for a refill on that tea now.;)

DanaC 03-18-2009 03:00 PM

*smiles*

I read it at the funeral. In the end we didn't do the funeral paper thingies. I just read it, which was nice, because people hadnt already skim read it ahead of me. It went down well. Peope liked it and thought it spoke of dad.

To side-step the whole personal tragedy element of this and be totally vain for a moment: I was really pleased with how it read. I was also pleased with how I read it. It's a piece to be read aloud.


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