Euphemisms....
 

... for sex:
spending some quality time
making the beast with two backs

...for anal sex:
visiting vegemite valley
riding the chocolate weasel

...for masturbation:
spending some "me" time
polishing Darth Vader's helmet

... for vomiting:
technicolor yawn
driving the porcelain bus

C'mon peeps, post 'em if ya got 'em. Two of each kind, like with Noah.

....shitting:

dropping the kids off at the pool
taking the browns to the super bowl

vomiting:
'flaming yawn' (filet Mignon?)
Talking to god on the white telephone

Btw, here's something I have been pondering: is there any word for bathroom/outhouse/restroom/powderroom/WC that isn't a euphemism? The only ones I could come up with were 'shitter' or 'excrematorium'. The latter of which isn't even a word.

...for masturbation:
killing a hobo

;)

:blush:

Pie - in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (by edward albee) George says to their dinner guests, "I'm going to the euphamism," meaning the loo.

So, you see, the bathroom can be referred to simply as the "euphamism" and you're being literary as you say it. Comes in handy when your dining with snobs.

... for gay sex
making the beast with four balls

you know what's freaky?

they don't have "streets" in Venice.

For masturbation:
- Spending some time with Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters
- Washing your hand in sticky white love piss
- Giving a solo on the pink piccolo
- Charming the python until it spits

I love it. I'll be using it at the next opportunity.

For menstruation:

- A visit from Aunt Flo

- Trolling for Vampires

Additional menstruation euph: Fallen to the communists.

male urination = shake hands with the unemployed

coitus interruptus - get off at Redfern

sex - giving the dog a bone (c.f. AC/DC song of same name)

masturbation - crack one off, strangle the serpent

covering a turd with bog paper - Turin Shroud

menstruation - on the blob

menstruation: riding the crimson wave

vomiting: yelling for ralph

toilet (number 2): giving birth to a pom (sorry UK friends, but some people do still say it here)

when refering to someone's arsehole: the chocolate starfish

the progeny of gay males: poo babies