8/16/2002: Grizzly weather
 

http://cellar.org/2002/grizzlybear.jpg

We on the east coast are still stuck with this really crappy weather for another day or two. Here we see how zoo bears deal with it: they're given blocks of ice with apples frozen inside. Makes for a cooling, refreshing treat, and I suppose, for something to do if your existence is a 15-foot cell when your instinct is to roam the woods.

Having said that, I don't think zoos are cruel. Most of em anyway.

You don't think a 500 pound bear being locked in a 15 foot cell is cruel? Just what <i>is</i> your idea of cruelty?

I've seen monkeys locked in small cages at Disney World, and they just looked incredibly sad.

For one thing, as opposed to the life that the animal lives in the wild, it's extremely humane. You get full medical, dental, vision, 3 squares a day and there's no punch clock. If your area is too cold, they heat it; if it's too hot, they give you neat blocks of ice with frozen apples. And you can take a dump right in the middle of the place and some idiot human comes around and removes it.

But the main thing is that we think of the world from the human point of view, not the bear or monkey point of view. We would hate being caged so we think it's terrible for them. But some animals get on well in confinement. My dogs enjoy it; they think of their cages as little personal caves, and will often go in there just to nap in a small space.

I've read that domesticated animals never reach full maturity, though. If a human were kept in this capacity, would you think it's cruel?
Most kids these days are still child-like up into their early 20's because their parents are treating them like youngsters. Is this the same concept?

A lot of them are probably neutered so they don't reach full maturity - unless they're in breeding programs.

That would be harsh for humans, but I know a few who would have benefitted from the procedure.

Breeding programs? Hell yea! Sign me up!!

In breeding programs with horses and cows, there are two common methods to get sperm from the male. (you're presumably male)

The first is to spray certain types of pheromones and other 'horny-fying' (excuse the pun) hormonal scents over a mock-up of a female, with strategically placed holes and containers. The male mounts, briefly humps away, and then wanders off, the goods being saved for posterity. (ie. a fridge and later insemination)

The second is to have the male in a position where he's unlikely to kick/bite, and for a vet (or other qualified specialist - read into that what you will) to masturbate the male animal, again using a container to catch the resulting goods.

I am sure that similar methods may be used with some not-too-deadly animals in captivity.

Which one of the above do you want to be signed up for, eh? :)

X.

I've occasionally wondered how many of the vets are in technical violation of various beastiality laws

It's always interesting to see where these conversations devolve to.

<a href="http://www.nerve.com/regulars/lifeswork/jerk/" target=_new>Here's just a little bit too much info on this</a>

Nice one doc. I love the last paragraph:

<i> I had a colleague who was collecting [semen samples from] dairy bulls and didn't even have to have the artificial vagina. They would recognize his car. He'd drive up, and the bulls would be standing at the breeding stations, getting erections just from the sight of his Volvo. </i>

What did he drive? I get an erection at the sight of an S80 T-6 Executive class. :)

But wait! There's more...

After all, we'd like to avoid any "costly mistakes". Why pay a vet to do this when there's DIY help available?

This has turned into a grisly thread.

Don't use Vaseline, or it'll be a greasy thread.