Dear __________ letters
 

Examples:







Note: your letter doesn't have to riff off the previous letter, but bonus points if it does.

Dear Sunshine State Armpit-Pant Megastore Emporium,

Can we please have the top 6 inches of our trousers back? Our butts are getting cold.

Gangsta Clothing Warehouse.

Dear Cellar,

I'm not sorry about your finger

Love

Dan

Dear Cellar,
Don't forget to . . .








EAD

Love,
LJ

Dear LJ,

Get that thing out of your mouth.

respectfully,
Teh Cellah

Dear Religious People,

Kindly keep your religion out of MY government unless you want me to start legislating who you get to worship and how you may do so.


Sincerely,


American Patriots

Dear American Patriots,

I'm pretty sure thats your plan already.

Religious People

(this is supposed to be a back and forth right?)

Doesn't have to be. Whatever you like.




Dear Bill:

North Korea was fine, but you do NOT need to go to Argentina. OR hiking on the Appalachian Trail.

Signed,
Hillary

Dear teenagers,

please pull your fucking pants up.Or, if you must wear them like that, then at least make your underpants interesting and/or attractive.

the rest of us



Deer oldiez

iz like da fashun u no ur 2 old 2 undestand its not fare an i need a new iphone

Knysha, Rebel n D'art-Onion





Dear kids

get off my lawn and get a job. And a spell checker.

the rest of us

Dear Religious People,

I could care less if you worship a potato, just don't put your potato worship in my government and stop trying to hide your bigotry behind your religion. You have no more right to prevent gay people from marrying than gay people have to force you to have an abortion in an effort to stop your stupidity from spreading.

Sincerely,


American Patriots

Dear Deer,

something something something

love,
Your mamma

Dear Top Management,
Stop making 85% of all problems.

Thanks,
The American Economy

Dear American Economy

you simply don't understand big business and that is why we are paid gesquillions and you are not.

Your invoice for this response is enclosed. We are delighted to announce that we are currently running a Buy-one-get-one-free Sale on responses, and all production will grind to a halt until you submit your next letter to us and claim your free response.

pp Top Management

Dear Brits in Ann Arbor,

Sorry, I just bought all the Heinz Beans from Hiller's. No, I'm not sharing. The crumpets were yummy too -I left you some of those.

monster

Dear Radar,

(CC: Classicman)

I think this is supposed to be a humour thread.

Thanks,

Humour Fascist