Dumber than a box of rocks
 

Jim's story here had me looking for phrases meaning "not too bright". Most of the ones I ran across I hear in my head with a country drawl.

So how many phrases can we come up with?

I'll start -

He's a few bricks shy of a load.

Slower than a wet weekend.

Two snags short of a barbie.

One beer short of a six pack.

sandwich short of a picnic

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

The lights are on but nobody's home

Not firing on all cylinders

A few french fries short of a happy meal

thick as two short planks
dumb as a bag of hammers
elevator doesn't go to the top floor/penthouse

time to coin some:

A Dolphin short of a Meme

Enjoys an alternate thought process

---

oh wait, I remembered (a not very nice) one I heard over here... Rides the Short Bus.

Mouth-breather.

Thick as pigshit.

Forrest Gump

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

I heard this one from a French Canadian :

Not a 100 Watts lightbulb

One taco short of a combination plate

Sharp as a marble

(I remember the first time I heard "not the sharpest tool in the shed" from my ex's funny and smart cousin referring to a friend of a younger smart but doofy cousin. I laughed my arse off.)

Coined:

His WiFi doesn't quite reach his modem

sharp as a bowling ball (Foghorn Leghorn)

An intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait

If he had 2 brains, 1 would be lonely

That boy's got a mind like a steel trap. Rusty, that is.

--Mr Leghorn

One spanner short of a toolkit.


and an oldie but still in regular currency (so to speak...):

Not a full shilling.