Let me ask you this...
 

Ask anyone or everyone anything or everything.

So, tell me, when it rains do you nearly drown, or do you have a separate umbrella so your upward pointing nose doesn't fill up?

It's generally too windy round here for umbrellas (and that's even without the butterfly effect of Aliantha's garbanzo bean bonanza), so I tend to get wet. It doesn't go up my nose unless I am:
a) crawling in the gutter, or
b) lying on my back in the road.
In either of the above cases I don't think an umbrella would be manageable ...

A piece of clothing (not a favourite) develops a small fault (lost button, small tear or worn patch in an unobtrusive place). What do you do, usually?

I'll probably never sew a button on.

Spots, tears...can I hide 'em? If so I'll wear 'em even to work. If not I'll keep it for lounging around the house.

Or, I throw it into a giant pile, Mt Clothesimanjaro, and forget all about it.

sounds far too familiar

I do not believe in umbrellas.

I have a "rag pile" in my shop. It's getting pretty big.

They exist! Really! I just saw one in the back of my car! A bloody huge black and white one covererd with kid footprints, the little gits.

Howard's End wouldn't exsist if not for umbrellas!

<matrix>There is no umbrella</matrix>

Neither would The Bad Seed.

I've had a conversion experience: today I saw umbrellas used as lampshades. COOL!

Can't remember the last time I used an umbrella. I hate 'em.

Too windy in the north. And you have to hold 'em up. Pain in the proverbial if you ask me. I'd rather get wet.

Umbrellas work well in certain situations. Poorly in others.

Aside from their novelty value as lampshades, I'm with you Dana (and you have to remember to not forget them whenever you put them down for an extended period (e.g. at work or in a shop etc...)

I have never owned or felt the need to own an umbrella. Rain is only water after all - the same stuff I wash myself with.