Ima Die Now, Right?
 

I just swallowed a big green housefly.

GACK!

Ima die now ain't I?

It was flyin around my monitor, I went for a half-hearted swat, made contact, and couldn't find it. I figured it flew along on it's merry way.

Then, a minute or two ago, I took another swig out of the glass on the desk (wtf, it's 5:00 somewhere, right?), and there was...how to describe it...a lump. A lump went cascading over my tongue. And down my throat.

I'd make myself throw up, but, throwing up makes me sick.

And now I keep hearing a tiny voice, deep down inside, saying "Help mee. Help meeee!"

That's my conscience, right? Please tell me it's my conscience.

Ew. Gack. Just ew!


Sent by thought transference

Quick Grav, you need to swallow a spider to catch it!

It's true. Not shitting you. Find a spider. STAT.

So long as there's no hook
- connected to a line
-- connected to a rod
--- connected to a fisherman,

you'll be fine.

Whiskey will make certain the bacteria in the bug are gone but you must drink lots of it immediately.

and then swallow a bird!

Swallow a cat to catch the bird!

To add a UT's answer, if it ends up in your stomach, your stomach acid will kill it.

Spray a big squirt of fly spray into your mouth, just to be safe.

So, the drink gave you a buzz. :D

Seems me and UT were the only two serious about helping Gravdigr.

Please please please tell me that was an attempt at humor, JS

It's only because we all quietly know that Grav's a dead man walking. Nothing you can do but be cheery, at that point. Don't let him know what's coming.

Yeah seriously, JS... I mean don't rub it in for the poor guy. Just make him as comfortable as possible... :comfort: