Relationship....
 

I'm ready for one. I'm tired of hookups and fwbs who are flakes or hard the schedule with. Yes, relationships have their own issues, but I'd rather deal with issues in a real relationship than all the other issues with flakes.

well don't sell yourself short for that 'relationship.' get right with yourself first, please.

and watch out for flakes that you can surely attract in the nsfw thread, and any real life similar situations. just sayin'

i love ya girl, i just think you should be taking smaller steps right now. just my experience and ymmv.

I agree with IM. Take your time. My wife and I dated for a few years and we were engaged for 19 months. We'll be celebrating 30 years in August.

You have to know yourself before you can know anyone else. Give yourself some time to get your balance back.

You have a lot going for you, so you will find someone who appreciates you.

BTW, when you are ready, don't go to bars. Go to book discussions, art shows, cooking classes, or some gathering that reflects your personal interests. Hopefully the guys you find there will share some of your interests for real, instead of just faking it.

Oh I guess I should say I don't want to jump into anything quick like, just more I want to get away from the hook ups and fwb and start trying "real" dating. I know I have a lot of work on myself, but I will always be working on myself. I'm not trying to take leaps and bounds.

My immediate advice would be to stop being friends with/hooking up with flakes.

I am right with you mtp - just got out of a fwb because I found out he has had a gf since Jan - pretty sure I was the other woman during that time.

I just want something meaningful with someone I can trust. Done with the random sex to the point I got off birth control because I don't want it.

I miss the feeling of being cared for - you know, before the heart break. I am working on myself, too, but it helps to have someone to lean on. It gets old being alone.

I've just broken it off with my fwb. He wanted to come over for a lunch quickie and I told him I was tired of doing that. The conversation went on for a bit where he even told me he had wanted to tell me he loved me at times and blah blah blah. I made a clean break.

Fwb is a lie. It's benefits, not friends.

Women will never even get close to the ability that men have to compartmentalize sex and feel nothing. Women, sociopaths excepted, invest. Men should realize and respect that, and stay home if they're physically attracted but have no intention of investing.

That is all.

I'm confused.

I've said this before - that honest women invest when a relationship gets physical. Men are capable of compartmentalizing their lives - of truly separating physical intimacy from emotional. Women, not so much.

Am I wrong about men? I don't mean to imply that their hearts can't be broken.

I guess I must have a strong feminine side

I thought I was supposed to not stay home any longer, because I have no intention of continuing to invest, despite my physical attraction.

Maybe instead of painting with this,
Attachment 43893

you could use this:
Attachment 43892

;)

I think you're wrong to generalize that belief, and it stems from actions of the "bad boys", who all the girls seem to be gaga over.

Uhooooh! I think I'm a sociopath.