A little worn down
 

But I shouldn't be. Opening my new practice on Monday, with one (ONE!) patient already scheduled, which is better than none but not exactly overwhelming.

It's been a challenging three months since being fired. My former employer black-listed me everywhere within 500 miles so their competitors wouldn't hire me, so I either had to sell my home and move far, far away, or start my own business. Time will tell. I've never started a practice from scratch before, this was a huge learning curve. Have to think (and still trying to think) of everything. And stay within budget, and borrow frightening amounts of money.

I spend lots of time writing marketing stuff and employee handbooks that are POSITIVE and INSPIRING; I just wish I believed my own copy. In many ways, going out on my own is a good thing, but not what I'd planned on at 56. These things take time to build, and time is not on my side.

I struggle every day with bitterness. I know, I know. What I know most is that I'm terrified that this will fall flat and I'll have hired people who left other jobs for this, and I'll let them down. And none of this had to be, but greedy people made it happen. It's hard not to hate them. I do try.

I worry about my cancer coming back, with people depending on me. I have symptoms that are worrying, but I can't freak out about every little thing. If I weren't taking on this thing, it would worry me less.

And the people you hired are worrying they'll let you down.
And the holders of those notes worry they let their stockholders down.
And your husband worries you'll be more successful than he was.
Worry is normal, but of course you being detail oriented, will have more to worry about.
The only one not worrying is me, 'cause I believe you can do this. :thumb:

What he said. Give it your best shot Lady. Good luck

You've already proved you're brave by doing this in spite of your fear. The rest will fall into place. Mazel Tov!

Don't worry about the bitterness - let that be your motivation. The jerks might be able to blacklist you from working for each other but they can't blacklist you from kicking their asses.

So get on with it.

Motivation, wear it like a badge. ;)

Thanks for the pep talk, guys.
Getting on with it, right after I sleep for 12 hours. Fell asleep in the middle of a conversation just now! Wtf.

Fell asleep in the middle of a conversation!

Ooo, next time make sure you have a crash cart. :zzz::lol2:

Sleep good.

Sleep is when all that shit bouncing around in your head gets correlated and filed. That can't happen awake because you keep grabbing things and messing up the process. Hell, even Santa Claus only checks it twice. :D