I went to Ikea today and figured out the easter story
 

One Sunday in Spring, Jesus and Mary-Mag went to IKEA and found a cartload of cheap storage and kitchenware. As they headed to the checkout they passed through the plant section where big frondy palms were on a great sale and Mary-Mag decided she wanted a couple of dozen to surround their little patio. Those in themselves were a cartload, but more perishable, so they left the furniture and went home with the palms. The following Friday, Mary-Mag decided it was time to go back for the furniture. The store was crazy busy and the parking lot overflowing and there were donkey jams everywhere. As yet another Ass spooked their donkey and stole the parking spot they had been waiting for, Jesus had had enough and yelled "Stick a nail in me, I'm done"

Is this the blasphemy thread?

A fascinating account of the IKEA-INRI merger.

Happy Easter!

IKEA loves you, monster. :lol:

INRIKEA? The sell flat pack cross kits. They are chipboard, but you can get as many nails as you want from their hardware bin.

The cross kits were in Gardening with the other trellises; but, covered up under the palms. If only they had dug deeper.

It's said that Jesus was seen 3 days later, loitering in other parking lots, presumably looking for his spooked donkey.

Ikea's worldwide profits go to a charity in the Netherlands. The charity is operated by Ikea's owners, and has never given a dime to anyone.

he was looking for the special nobody-else-sells-that-diameter hex wrench he dropped while he was checking the contents of the Corner Cave Organizer with Rolling Stone Door kit

They don't sell on the premise that you're donating to charity when you buy, so why would anyone except tax collectors care? Did someone overturn your money table, mr. tax collector :lol:?

Americans really hate IKEA (except on good friday), I just don't get it. I get so many unused bargains from the thrift stores -donated unused then priced really low -it's like they carry leprosy!

Because guess who has to make up the taxes they don't pay.http://cellar.org/2015/shades.gif

well I save way more than that in the bargains I get.....

....and I pay tax at the thrift store

I doubt the taxes you pay at the thrift store will cover the billions these corporations aren't. :haha:

ya reckon?