The Cellar - Sept 14th, 2017: Swings

Oh horror of horrors, a person or persons unknown hung not one, but two, old fashioned rope with a board
seat swings from trees in Chicago’s Logan Square Park.
This act of domestic terrorism was carried out illegally without a permit.
The children, won’t these criminals please think of the children.
The lawyers, won’t these criminals please think of the lawyers.

http://cellar.org/2017/swing1.jpg

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The unexpected arrivals have sparked a range of reactions on social media, from enthusiastic parents praising the distraction they provide, to worriers who see the mysterious swings as “lawsuits waiting to happen.”
It is, in fact, illegal to hang anything from public trees in the Windy City. According to Chicago Municipal Code: “no person shall secure, hang, fasten, attach or run any rope, wire, sign, decoration, electrical device or other material upon, around or through any public tree without a permit to do so,” a statute that came up once before in a discussion over illegal hammocks.

http://cellar.org/2017/swing2.jpg

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A few months ago the same area was home to another mysterious outdoor play apparatus—a black-and-blue trampoline that migrated to a few different locations. Investigations revealed that the trampoline’s owners were moving it around for passersby to enjoy.
There didn’t appear to be any permit involved, but at the end of the day it led to more smiles than lawsuits.

We all know how these criminal domestic terrorists operate.
Watching little girls dresses fly up while they swing, and a skinned knee or bump on the head brings offers
of ice cream and puppies, the cads.

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