need really really bad advice
 

Things are going pretty well, do you guys have some advice for me?

get a job on a fishing boat and go out to sea in the middle of a storm.

tell your girlfriend that her friend's tits would be softer.

tell your girlfriend that you miss your ex.

borrow over $1000 from your girl and don't pay it back when you say you will

do not thank your woman for buying all of your groceries and taking you out for dinner and drinks

try anal beads

betray your wife and let her find out

quit your job without having another one lined up.

this should be enough to screw you up for awhile...if you need more ideas, let me know, and i'll go ask my husband. he is great at coming up with this stuff and he tests it out in real life to make sure it can absolutely screw your life up...

Well, short of telling you to put a gun to your head, or amputate your own whale penis, that's gonna be pretty hard to top...

Wear... sunscreen. :)

Help out one of those poor Nigerian people who are having trouble processing the payments from their dead relatives' estates.

Buy a buffalo!

Whenever someone starts talking to you, let them go for a second and then interrupt them and very seriously say, "Dude... seriously.. shut the fuck up."

Then, if they start to say something else, just roll your eyes and walk away.

Get a career at an IT help desk.

Follow advice from a website.

Close the thread. You can't get worse than that.

Oh, wait, you can. Get promoted so you're not only in charge of the help desk, but also the budgeting and the telephones.

Start a thread about personal differences with another online person and state why you are going to ignore that person instead of just ignoring them in the first place. ;)

Let's bring that up a notch. How about being in charge of transitioning your call center to an offshore call center. You have to train the person that will replace you.

A call center in India where the person you're training speaks better english than you do, has twice the education and works for a quarter fo the wages.

Believe everything I tell you.