The Cellar - View Single Post - Oopsies and other strange, interesting, and useless information....

Lady Sidhe · 06-08-2004, 04:21 PM

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania - Have you ever wondered what it
would feel like to be shot? Well Phil Horner did and wanted
to do something about it, so he took a gun and shot himself
in the shoulder. While this may sound bizarre, it gets even
more weird. Recently a 911 call came in to dispatch and an
ambulance was once again sent to the Horner residence. It
seems that he shot himself one more time. The reason? In
his own words, "I wanted to see if it hurt as much as it
did the first time."

LONDON, England - A 13-year-old boy has been convicted of
operating a prostitution ring at his local school. He
recruited seven girls from the school and explained what he
wanted them to do. After recruiting his "ladies", this
enterprising little pimp recruited the little "Johns," also
from his school. He charged them 10 pounds ($25) each for
an hour.

BARNSLEY, England - Peace has been restored to a northern
England town now that lewd garden gnomes are no longer
exposing their breasts and buttocks, Sky News said Thursday.
Police in Barnsley said they received several complaints
about the near-naked gnomes in the front garden of former
army Sgt. Tony Watson. Watson said he was tired of the
standard jolly-looking garden ornaments in cute poses, and
opted instead for racier models. However, after neighbors
complained, police told him he would be arrested if he did
not do something about the comical nudes. "It is an offense
to display something that is insulting or likely to cause
distress," a police spokesman told Sky News. So, one by one,
the gnomes were taken into Watson's home, and reappeared
soon after with bathing suits painted on, including one
gnomette who now wears a polka-dot bikini.

Bizarre Author's Names

These names are completely genuine and have been corroborated in the catalogues of the British Library and in the American National Union Catalog, as well as other authoritative
sources.

Ole Bagger

Stanka Fuckar

Gottfried Egg

Dr F.P.H. Prick van Wily

Baron Filibarto Vagina d'Emarese

A. Schytte

Mme J.J. Fouqueau de Pussy

Simon Young-Suck Moon

Tit Wing Lo

06-08-2004, 04:21 PM	#44
Lady Sidhe That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.... Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Hammond, La. Posts: 978	Hahahahahahahaha!!! PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania - Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be shot? Well Phil Horner did and wanted to do something about it, so he took a gun and shot himself in the shoulder. While this may sound bizarre, it gets even more weird. Recently a 911 call came in to dispatch and an ambulance was once again sent to the Horner residence. It seems that he shot himself one more time. The reason? In his own words, "I wanted to see if it hurt as much as it did the first time." LONDON, England - A 13-year-old boy has been convicted of operating a prostitution ring at his local school. He recruited seven girls from the school and explained what he wanted them to do. After recruiting his "ladies", this enterprising little pimp recruited the little "Johns," also from his school. He charged them 10 pounds ($25) each for an hour. BARNSLEY, England - Peace has been restored to a northern England town now that lewd garden gnomes are no longer exposing their breasts and buttocks, Sky News said Thursday. Police in Barnsley said they received several complaints about the near-naked gnomes in the front garden of former army Sgt. Tony Watson. Watson said he was tired of the standard jolly-looking garden ornaments in cute poses, and opted instead for racier models. However, after neighbors complained, police told him he would be arrested if he did not do something about the comical nudes. "It is an offense to display something that is insulting or likely to cause distress," a police spokesman told Sky News. So, one by one, the gnomes were taken into Watson's home, and reappeared soon after with bathing suits painted on, including one gnomette who now wears a polka-dot bikini. Bizarre Author's Names These names are completely genuine and have been corroborated in the catalogues of the British Library and in the American National Union Catalog, as well as other authoritative sources. Ole Bagger Stanka Fuckar Gottfried Egg Dr F.P.H. Prick van Wily Baron Filibarto Vagina d'Emarese A. Schytte Mme J.J. Fouqueau de Pussy Simon Young-Suck Moon Tit Wing Lo __________________ My free will...I never leave home without it. --House Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. -Rita Rudner Last edited by Lady Sidhe; 06-08-2004 at 04:24 PM.