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Allowing the father to skip out on support if they avoid contact is punishing the child as much as the mother.
Only if the two parents can behave enough to make continued contact with both parents not a punishment for the child in and of itself. My theory is that not giving the child up for adoption is punishing the child if the parents will have eternal resentment towards each other.
Seriously, I have not heard of too many men that are too broken up about not seeing their child
Just a guess, you're talking to the women in these scenarios aren't you? I know several single mothers who genuinely believe their exes only take the kids for visitation to piss her off and torture her by having to be without them. These men love their children, and in turn think that she is doing everything she can to turn the kids against him. People in these situations notoriously don't have a damn clue what the other side's motivations are.
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