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Therefore, he should not have the gall to show up years later expecting to be instant daddy.
I totally agree. By definition, we shouldn't want people who "aren't ready to be a parent" to be parents in the first place. We should take their reluctance as a clear sign, and in fact work to keep them from being parents.
I think this is how my friend should handle her situation...the father isn't really doing jack fuck shit for that kid anyway.
See, but here's the question: what is your friend doing that's so great for the kid? People get so focused on how the father had better pay up that they lose sight of the overall picture: whether the kid is getting adequate care in the first place. From what it sounds like, she's letting the father take the kid off unsupervised. If he really is as awful as you seem to think he is, she's being irresponsible by letting him be alone with the child, threat of a custody battle or not.
This is my whole point--money from the father is irrelevant if the child is in an inadequate home to begin with. These women need to be educated about adoption and encouraged to do it, instead of having family members admonish them "you don't give up blood" and spending all their time bitching about how the father's not doing anything. If the mother were doing a good job it wouldn't matter what the father were doing.
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