Tomas, there is a difference between worshipping your god as a god and worshipping him as a man. You clearly are at a time in your life when you want to BE Christ. That's hubris. Being crucified wouldn't bring you closer to God. It would merely be a stunt of martyrdom for attention, which God's not supposed to be keen on.
So no, you should not feel the desire to be crucified. Go study some passages on humility.
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