[Catwoman]

The trouble with America.

She is truly beautiful. She boasts some of the most outstanding areas of natural beauty in the world. She has produced some of the most intelligent, prosperous and significant people in history.

But this grandiose image is tarnished with a history of corruption, pollution and death. Indeed, industrial America's very foundation is war; a nasty, brutal civil war that killed far too many. Like all wars.

The European perception of America could accurately be described as hostile; at best ambivalent. I would like to explain why I think this opinion exists.

Most* people's perception of America is founded on a) media reportage; b) international events and c) Americans they have come into contact with (most likely as tourists). I am sure you will agree this is how most* Americans assimilate an opinion about Britain or any other country.

* I exclude those who have travelled extensively to the country in question.

Media 'reportage', from Fox to Friends to Films, is often self-appreciative, righteous, moralistic and - for want of a better word - intolerably slick. It leaves that lasting, bitter taste of style over substance, something that we self-deprecating Brits find hard to digest. Of course, we are influenced by our own media and its portrayal of America. I have to say it is often unashamedly biased, with subversive presenters often using the American stereotype to parody key American figures. You might consider this unfair, but these stereotypes truly are made to fit. Or made to measure, as you might say.

International events speak for themselves. Countless invasions, occupations, wars. Economically, America is the 'big bully' of the international community. 'Price wars' is an American concept. It has paved the way for Third World Debt, Free Trade Zones, and unqualified poverty. I needn't mention the points of conflict surrounding the recent war.

American tourists are idiotic, presumptious, arrogant and largely unwilling to involve themselves in local culture. They see England as 'cute' and 'quaint' and are fascinated by a history they have never known for themselves. If only they could package it up in a cute little box and take it away with them.

Of course, it would be completely unfair to judge a country by merit of its tourists. If Britain were judged on its tourists, international perception would probably include the words 'ignorant', 'indecent', 'rowdy' and 'uncultured'.

And they would be quite right. In general, the Great British populace are an ignorant bunch, leading soundbite lives based on instant gratification with their indiscriminate consumption of food, 'culture' and politics. Is it fair to say this is representative of how this country is run and permit others to make judgements based on our behaviour? Of course it is! Human beings have a choice. Their behaviour abroad is no less indicative of their mindset as their actions at home.

I apologise for the lack of euphemism but American foreign policy is trigger-happy, always has been. And I do think this is reflected in the gun laws (or lack thereof). The thing is, America is incredibly insecure. By nature of it being the biggest power in our modern world, it is constantly faced with the threat of a fall. And it's a long way from the top, as any befallen athlete, actor or CEO will tell you. There will always be another country threatening a bigger gun, more WMD's, more troops, more... whatever. It is America's duty to stay on top of this and ensure that no one else rivals their pole position. America is the best country in the world, and don't you forget it.

In my assessment of America I do not implicitly condone, flatter or otherwise 'big up' my own country or any other. This is not an argument of moral, financial or political superiority. It would be nice to be able to express a critique of a person, institution or country without fear of an emotional reaction, and a lot of this debate has been reaction, not response.

It is also worth mentioning that mine, jag's, or anyone else's opinion about the States is not a detraction from people's individual or personal 'goodness'. There are many lovely people in America as there are in this country, or anywhere else. We are merely reviewing the overriding sentiment. Unfortunately, as someone mentioned earlier, it is often very difficult to usurp some kind of honest self-reflection in most American people, and I include a couple of my American friends in this assessment. One girl I have known for two years still gets very protective of her country, and will not listen to balanced criticism, even when I know she agrees. It is as if there is a guilt associated with self-deprecation - like it demonstrates betrayal or weakness - when in fact it belies strength.

The fact is, America is at once the strongest and most vulnerable country in the world. By this merit, it is no surprise its inhabitants are perpetually fearful - scared that their strength may one day be taken away from them, and then all they'll have left is the fear. It's when this fear translates into bloodshed and brutality that a negative perception of America is understandably cultivated.

And for any of you tempted to respond to this with some ill thought-out, personally insulting or otherwise retaliatory one-liner, I'll leave you with the best quote I've seen in the Cellar for ages:

Go munch on some freedom fries you self defeating halfwit. © Jaguar