[God]

Originally Posted by perth

..... I guess "The Bible, Part II" is off then?

I wouldn't say that. The questions are, what would the up to date copy look like? What would it include? What are the goals of re-making it? Who will it speak to ? Is it backwards compatible? Have my goals changed? How would it be distributed? Will people really benefit from it? The whole thing gets tricky fast.

Consider this scenario.

I send someone back down there again. He goes around all "I'm the son of God" again, and winds being heckled and ridiculed......just like old times. He's promoting "the new bible" in whichever form is finally released. I give him a little power over time and space....and he uses it for demos. His target audience, the unwashed masses, finds him scary or ridiculous. The power mongers find him credible and want to re-create some of his powers....so they humor him, study his "magic" and keep him distracted from helping the people that he's there to try to help.

At best I would have to give him "massive powers" that he could overpower any born and bred human with. I don't have a problem giving a son the keys to the Caddy in that respect, but the people in general are fearful of the thought of any being having powers they cannot understand. It's not like the old days. People now have the power to destroy the entire human race.

If that happens, I have to start alllllllll over again. It aint easy, let me tell you.

If the second coming freaks out the people, they might not just kill him, but millions of others. I've fallen so far behind in this project that there is such a diversity of different philosophies that they are all stepping on each others toes.

We need a global OS, but Kofi wont be installing it.

So, that's just a peek at the intracacies of the situation.

And, Jesus just isn't the man he used to be. You parents think your kids are staying a bit too long at home? He's been here sponging off me for, what, a couple thousand years now. I can barely get him away from the X box long enough to go visit some deserving souls. Not the man he used to be.

Originally Posted by perth

.... but he's got that whole "turning water into wine" thing going,

Well......like I say, he doesn't do that sort of thing here often. Sometimes I encourage him to practice up, but he's lost his mojo.

I heard him cackling the other day from 3 dimensions away. When I stopped in his room to see what was going on, I caught him crushing a beer can on his forehead. There was a pile of crushed cans right next to him. He must have thought that was quite amusing.

Imagine the disappointment I felt at that point.

So I'm thinking of going another direction. Maybe a woman to be the second coming. I can't get past the potential horrors of sending a woman though. Imagine what a woman with godly powers would be like having a period.

That thought scares me.....and I'm God

Maybe Jesus will turn things around. He's done some awesome work. Maybe he will again, who knows.


Ohh, and I found this in my inbox, thought you might get a kick out of it.


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To:God-almighty@Heaven.mainoffice.com From:Bubba@feelYorass.com

What the FucK? Didn't you hear me say "oh God....oh God....oh God" the other night? Hey, you aren't still pissed at me are you?

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God