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Originally Posted by Lady Sidhe
It's not like telling your kid they're yours if they're really adopted, or anything major.
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Hey, I
did find out I was adopted, when I was 15. And you know what? Finding out there wasn't a Santa Claus at 7 years old was far more traumatic than discovering the guy I had always called dad wasn't mine biologically. Know why? Because after I found out, I still had a dad.
Yeah, maybe I do take it a bit too seriously. And I apologise if my vehemence seems like venom, that's not my intent (reading back it kind of looks like I was attacking Sidhe, I didn't mean to). But I was lied to
a lot as a kid, as I'm sure many others were. I already know for a fact that one day I'm going to end up lying to my son about certain things. So the best I can do is minimise that as much as possible.
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Make-believe only works as a developmental tool when the children know it's make-believe. Otherwise it confuses them. If you tell your child that she's a real, honest-to-goodness princess, and keep the story going for years on end, it will be crushing to her when she finally figures out she's just an average kid, and she can't afford her own stable of horses, and she can't have servants do all her chores. But if she knows she's a normal person and that it's a game to pretend to be a princess, she will enjoy it.
I personally think it's just as damaging to constantly remind the child that there is no Santa Claus and not allow them to relish the games. As long as they know it's all in fun, there's no harm.
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Clodfobble, I agree. You expressed it far better than I ever could have.