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The other thing I have realized with Jamey is that it works well to encourage him to talk about what he is feeling. If he is "upset", "angry" or "sad", instead of hitting or biting, perth and I both try and encourage him to tell us. (ie: "Are you upset?" "Why are you sad, Jamey?") I noticed that recently, he will react by telling me "Mommy, I am upset!" This is not to say he doesn't throw his regular 3-year-old temper tantrums, but helping him find a different way of expressing his feelings really helps. Hitting was a big problem with him for a little while, which was one reason we didn't want to spank him. We managed to break that, and sometimes he makes a little hitting motion when he's upset, but never makes contact with anyone. Different discipline styles work for different kids. For him, it is the lack of attention and fun that keeps him from misbehaving. As others have mentioned in this thread, it's consistency and promptness that really are the key. If the kid is confused about punishment, he isn't going to learn, but if he understands very clearly, why he is in trouble, he will learn more quickly. When I send Jamey to time-out (on his bottom) I usually ask him to tell me why he was in trouble before I will let him up, so he remembers not to do it again.
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