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Mystic, there are poetry boards you can post to where everyone will be politely approving of your efforts. The Cellar is not one of them. People here are going to tell you exactly how they see it, and you can either accept the criticism and refine your efforts accordingly or not.
Good writing does not ramble, nor does it use artifice like all caps or chatroom spellings of words. Brevity is the soul of wit.
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